A Fatal Mishap
by RandleGreaserGirl
Summary: There has been a terrible accident. That's all it was though, an accident. So why are lives at stake? The gang is trying their best to keep their hopes up, but they aren't so sure who all is going to leave the hospital and go home.
1. Chapter 1

Sodapop Curtis sat in the waiting room of the hospital. He was shaking. He couldn't keep his feet or hands still. He could barely hide his tears. Periodically, he'd stand up and pace to the window, then back to his seat. He looked around at the nearly empty waiting room. Thankfully it was almost empty, he was probably annoying. Time was going slow, but how long does it take to check things out? To fix things? To come out and tell the news? 'Maybe the longer it takes, the better,' Soda thought to himself, trying to make himself feel better, 'If there was no chance, they would've already told me, right?' Soda was desperate to go outsider for fresh air, maybe have a cigarette. He fumbled in his pockets. No cigarettes. He wasn't one to usually carry them around. Scratching at his head, he sighed. He didn't want to miss the doctor coming out anyway if he did step out.

He looked up at the sound of the door opening. He had hoped it wasn't more police. He already talked to several officers, and they claimed they would talk to him more tomorrow. Steve Randle walked in and headed towards his best friend. Soda couldn't help himself. As soon as he saw his best friend the tears flew down his cheeks.

Steve pulled him in a hug, "It's okay, man. Calm down. I'm here."

Soda slowly sat back down and buried his face. Steve sat next to him with his hand on his back. "Oh Steve," Soda choked on his tears, "This is all my fault." An announcement over the intercom made Soda jump. He feared any of those codes or requests for assistance could be about his brothers.

"Don't say that," Steve said, "Shit happens, you know?"

Soda looked up at Steve, deciding not to argue over the details, "Thanks so much for coming."

"Of course. Now tell me, what happened?"

Soda wiped his face, "We were just coming home from some pizza. We were celebrating...this big promotion Darry got, so he took us out for dinner. Afterwards, he-he let me drive his truck home." Soda began to sniffle at the thought of what came next.

Steve stopped him, "A car accident?"

Soda hid his face again and nodded. He didn't want to remember. He tried burying the visuals.

"Did you hit someone else or...?"

Before Steve could finish the question, a doctor walked out asking for Soda. He jumped up fast and rushed over. Steve was right behind him. Soda took a breath to brace himself. Steve kept a hand on Soda's shoulder.

"Well, I think we can consider ourselves lucky right now," Dr. Turff began, "We are able to keep them somewhat stable right now. They are both hooked up to ventilators currently. Ponyboy did have some internal bleeding. Due to the trauma his body is already experiencing, we are waiting to see if the bleeding stops on its own, but we may have to do surgery. Darry is pretty banged up. He doesn't need the ventilator as serious as Ponyboy, but he is heavily medicated right now, so we are just being safe. In this current time, our main focus is relaxing their bodies before we do anything else."

Soda placed his hand over his mouth. He didn't know what to say. It was enough news to scare Soda, but not enough to know what was to come next.

"Are they awake at all?" Steve asked.

The doctor shook his head, "No. And unfortunately there is no telling when they will wake up until we keep further examining and if anything else comes up that needs to be taken care of."

Steve looked at Soda, "Maybe it's good news that there isn't emergency surgery going on."

Soda looked at the doctor, "Okay, give it to me straight...you say when they will wake up. Are you saying they will, like no ifs at all?" Steve dropped his head and closed his eyes. He didn't even want to know.

The doctor sighed, "I cannot promise that, son."

Steve looked back up and saw Soda's face lose it's color. He managed to ask, "Can-Can I see them?"

"You can for a moment."

The doctor lead them through some doors. Steve talked quietly to Soda, "Soda, you know they can't promise things like that, because of bullshit legal stuff. They can't promise anything, because they don't want to get sued. So don't worry too much." Soda tried believing his best friend, but had a hard time. They arrived at two rooms right next door to each other. Opening the first door, Soda and Steve walked in to see Darry. It was not right seeing the big Darry Curtis as he was. There were tubed attached to him and a lot of beeping throughout the room. There were plenty of visible bruises, but Soda could only imagine there were more under the sheets. His face was stained with poorly wiped away red streams. Soda got a flashback from the truck. Soda was able to get out of the truck and made eye contact with Darry, who was in the passenger seat. Blood had begun sliding down from his head. His mouth was wide open and he was breathing quickly. It looked like he was trying to scream, or breathe, or both.

_"Darry!" Soda yelled trying to figure out where to get Darry out, "Hold on! I'm coming!"_

Soda shook himself out of the flashback. He felt his air supply become thin. "I can't breathe," Soda whispered to Steve He turned away and quickly walked out of the room.

Steve followed him out and rubbed his shoulders, "Relax, it's going to be okay."

Steve turned to the doctor who closed the door, "Is he in a coma?"

"They are both in induced comas currently. Their states were uncertain, and we wanted to give their brains and bodies a rest, so we did induce them into a coma for a bit," the doctor explained, "It'll help their bodies and brains relax through the beginning of the trauma."

Next was Ponyboy's room. Steve was on edge for this one. Soda and Pony had such a close relationship. There was no way this was going to be smoother than Darry's. As they entered the room, Steve gasped out loud. He threw his hand over his mouth, wishing he wouldn't had done that. Ponyboy had several more wires going around him. Part of his face appeared multi-colored. The other part was covered in some bandage, including his eye being covered. One of his arms was already in a cast and his leg on the same side was being forced still. Pony's body was more constricted than Darry's.

Another flashback was coming to Soda's head. When Soda was trying to figure out getting Darry out, he got a glimpse of Pony in the back. He was unconscious. His arm and leg were crushed into awkward positions. It made Soda collapse and get sick all over the grass.

"I'm going to be sick," Soda ran out of the room. Steve was right behind him ready to catch him at any second. In the bathroom, Soda collapsed into a stall door. "Steve!" Soda said with a hand over his mouth.

"I got you, I got you," Steve grabbed Soda and leaned him towards the toilet. Soda began dry heaving mixed with crying into the toilet. He had probably already emptied his stomach at the accident.

After a few minutes, Soda leaned back against the wall. "Steve, what have I done?" Soda cried.

"Hey," Steve grabbed Soda's shoulders, "Don't start blaming yourself. Your brothers don't need that right now. I'm taking you home."

Soda shook his head furiously, "I-I can't go-go home."

"Listen to yourself, Soda. You're practically hyperventilating, you have nothing else to throw up, and for God's sake you can't even keep your eyes open anymore. Let's go!"

Steve got Soda out of the hospital and into his car. Soda was exhausted, but couldn't fall asleep. He stared out of Steve's window and began seeing accidents flashing before his eyes. Steve noticed he'd jump out of nowhere. He grabbed Soda's hand, "Shh, it's okay. Nothing's going to happen."

Soda turned his head and just faced Steve, "I'm just not going to look out the window." He kept his eyes on Steve, just watching him drive. It helped Soda relax a little bit. He was almost too exhausted to be scared.

Feeling the car come to a stop, Soda looked out the window and saw Steve's house. "What are we doing here?" Soda asked watching Steve remove his keys from the ignition.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to drop you off at your house and leave you by yourself," Steve smirked stepping out of the car, "I'll be right back."

After about ten minutes, Steve got back in the car with a bag. He tossed the bag in the back seat.

"Steve," Soda began.

"Shut up," Steve replied pulling the car back onto the road. They arrived at the Curtis house. Steve knew it would be hard enough for Soda to go into the house without his brothers. It'd have to be treated like a band-aid.

He walked Soda inside and helped him up to bed. Soda appeared too tired to really care what was going on. Steve dug in his bag and disappeared for a moment. He brought up a glass of water and held out his hand.

Soda grabbed the water and held out his other hand. Steve put a pill in it. "What is this?"

"It will help you sleep, just take it," Steve said changing clothes.

Soda didn't care. He took the pill and chugged some water. "Steve?"

"What?" Steve asked.

"Will you stay in here with me tonight?" Soda asked lying back onto his pillow.

"Of course," Steve replied getting the bed situated. Steve didn't know what to expect of tomorrow. He looked over and saw Soda passing out in no time. Reaching over, Steve grabbed the water and took a pill for himself. He turned the lights off and rested himself into a slumber.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you to everyone so far who has read and favorite/followed this story! Much appreciation!

The next morning, Sodapop felt very groggy. He squinted his eyes as he peered towards the window. The sun was streaking through the closed blinds. Soda slowly sat up as he tried remembering the night before. He wasn't sure how he got to bed, or even getting home from the pizza place. The way he felt, he would've thought he was hungover. Did he drink last night? Drinking wasn't usually his thing. Did he blackout? Peering behind him, he saw Steve fast asleep next to him. That's when it all hit him.

"Oh my God," he jumped off the bed, "Darry! Ponyboy!" He began shuffling for clothes quickly. The car accident, the police, the hospital. Soda didn't even know what had happened the past however many hours. What has changed since yesterday? Was the accident even yesterday, or had Soda been blacked out for days? Were Darry and Pony awake yet? Were they still alive? Soda slammed his hand over his mouth at all the thoughts running in his head. He felt sick.

Being woken up by the commotion, Steve sat up. He rubbed at his eyes. "Soda..."

"Steve, we got to get to the hospital!" Soda panicked. His heart was racing and he got anxious over the unanswered questions in his head.

"Soda, Soda, calm down," Steve got out of the bed and grabbed his best friend, "Listen, if something big had happened, they would've called. I want you to take a shower and then get dressed. You aren't doing your brothers any good if you don't take care of yourself."

Soda just wanted to get to the hospital. His anxiety started rising more at the thought of getting ready and cleaning himself up, as it felt like wasting time that he should be using at his brother's sides, but he knew Steve was right. He slowed himself down and got in the shower. When the hot water hit, Soda flinched. The adrenaline must've really blocked out any physical pain Soda may have contributed from the accident. He had a couple of minor bruises, a couple scratches that stung, and a nasty scrape on his leg. Really looking down at himself, he realized how filthy he had gotten from the accident. He hadn't even tried cleaning up since it happened. No wonder Steve told him to shower. His head began to throb. "I'm going to need something before we go," he mumbled to himself as he began scrubbing himself.

As he rinsed his face getting to the end of his shower, he heard the phone begin to ring. His heart dropped. Within seconds, he was out of the shower, grabbing a towel and near-slipping down the stairs. He got to the kitchen where Steve held the receiver to his ear. He had a confused look on his face at first, but then understood what had happened.

"It's not the hospital," Steve said covering the phone, "Go finish up."

Soda felt tears form as the fear started to subside. He leaned his head against the wall. Those forty-five seconds had been terrifying. His lips began to tremble as he could barely hold back the cry. All Soda wanted was answers.

"Let me call you back in a minute," Steve said hanging up the phone. He grabbed Soda's wet shoulders, "I'm sorry that scared you. I had called Two-Bit and told his mom to have him call me as soon as he could. It's okay."

Soda nodded and took a deep breath, "Okay." He slowly went back upstairs. He felt tears flow down his cheeks, but he didn't cry. Going back in the bathroom, he was able to chuckle at himself. He had forgotten to even turn off the shower.

Steve began dialing the phone again, hoping Two-Bit hadn't gone far from the phone.

"Hello?" Two-Bit answered.

"Hey Two-Bit," Steve said shuffling around the eggs on the stove.

"Hey, what's going on? What was that all about?" Two-Bit asked.

Steve ran his hand through his hair. He wasn't sure if Soda had called anyone else last night besides him. Obviously not.

"Two-Bit, can you meet me at the hospital?" Steve asked, nervously cracking his neck. He didn't really know how to go over everything on the phone.

"Why? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Two-Bit began a panic tone.

"I'm okay," Steve cleared up, "Look, I'll tell you everything there. There was an accident last night, Darry and Ponyboy are there. I'm going there with Soda soon. Can you try and get a hold of Dally and Johnny?"

"Okay, yeah, sure. I'll call around and meet you guys there in a little while."

"Okay, thanks," Steve hung up the phone. Soda came down, dressed this time, and saw Steve had made a quick breakfast. "Okay, here is my threat, we don't leave until you eat something." Soda sighed with slight frustration. "It's all out of love."

Soda sat down at the table, "No, it's okay, I know I should. I just may slightly hate you for it."

"I'm sorry I care," Steve smirked.

"Can you stop?" Soda rolled his eyes.

Steve grinned as he started eating his breakfast, "You know I can't."

Soda shook his head taking bites.

"Two-Bit will meet us at the hospital." Soda nodded. "You didn't tell anyone else yet did you?"

Soda shook his head while getting up for some chocolate milk, "I had to talk to police and that seemed to take forever. When they finally left, I just called you, because I needed someone there. And...now that I think about it, I guess I technically needed a ride."

Steve continued to eat, unsure if he should ask of more details from the accident yet. He still didn't know what exactly caused the accident. Were police involved, because someone else was involved, or just purely because medical attention was needed? Steve decided to wait until they saw how the brothers were doing at the hospital to get an exact story. "Will the police be back today?" Steve figured this question might help give him an idea.

Soda shrugged, "I think they got everything they needed. Nothing else for them to do."

'So it must not be an investigation,' Steve thought to himself.

"What about the truck? Do you want me to take a look at it?"

"No, it's a goner."

"Where is it?"

"I think they towed it."

"I'll try to hunt it down," Steve said thinking maybe Soda didn't really know the condition of the truck. It was worth a shot to look at. After breakfast, the boys didn't waste anymore time. They hopped in Steve's car and headed to the hospital.


	3. Chapter 3

Sodapop and Steve entered the hospital and found their way to Darry and Pony's rooms. They entered Darry's first and found a nurse checking on everything. Steve wasn't sure if he should ask yet.

"Hello," the nurse greeted with a smile.

Looking down at Darry's body, Soda whispered, "I can't believe I caused this."

Steve heard Soda's whisper and went ahead to ask, "How is he doing?"

"He has made some progress," the nurse said, "He is definitely a strong one."

"You got that right," Steve agreed smiling at Soda, "Is he still in a coma?"

"Yes. But feel free to talk to him," the nurse encouraged, "It may feel weird to do, but he may hear you and it may help him."

The nurse left shortly after. Soda sat in a chair and just looked at Darry. "I cannot believe I did this. This is all my fault, Steve."

Steve began rubbing Soda's shoulders. "Don't talk like that, buddy. I bet you anything Darry doesn't want to hear that, if he can hear you. Try being positive with him."

"What does that even mean? How do I do that?" Soda rubbed at his temple frustrated.

"Just talk to him as if you two were sitting on the couch," Steve explained, "Casual talk." Soda looked up at Steve. "It's what the doctors to me to do when my mom was in a coma." Steve could've kicked himself for that comment. Obviously, Soda knew Steve's mom didn't wake back up. "This is a different situation than me mom," Steve rescued his comment, "Just try it. Darry doesn't want to hear you self-blame."

Soda knew Steve was right. He scooted closer, and cupped Darry's hand into his. "D-Darry," Soda said holding back the tears, "If you can hear me, I just want you to know I am not leaving your side. I am going to be praying hard for you and Ponyboy. I will do everything in my power for you guys to come home with me, no matter what." Soda stood up and kissed Darry's forehead. "And just know, I am so sorry." Soda whimpered the last part and began to cry uncontrollably. "I am...so sorry."

Steve grabbed Soda and helped him out the door. As he put Soda outside, Steve went back over to Darry quick and said, "Don't you worry, Superman. I've got him." Outside the rooms, Steve pulled Soda into a tight hug. "They will be okay," Steve whispered, "Everything will be okay." They stayed in a hug for what seemed like an eternity.

"Guys?" a voice asked.

They departed from a hug and turned to find Two-Bit Mathews and Johnny Cade. "What's happening?" Two-Bit asked with harsh concern. Steve forgot he still hadn't explained what was going on. He could tell the guys were worried.

Steve patted Soda on the back and brought Two-Bit and Johnny aside. "Look, I don't know the deep details yet," Steve began, "But apparently there was an accident last night in Darry's truck. Soda was driving and something happened. I don't know exactly yet, I am kind of taking my time asking Soda about it."

"How are they?" Two-Bit asked nodding towards the rooms.

Steve shrugged, "They aren't awake right now, and we don't know...of any outcomes." Johnny turned and looked out a window. That was his best friend in there, not awake, and there was no way of telling when or if he would be awake. That was terrifying to Johnny. He started hoping Dally would show up soon. He could use Dally's tough attitude right now.

"I think," Steve continued, "Soda was going to try and see Ponyboy. He's...not taking it very easy though. It's kind of hard to look at them right now. But listen, I want to try and track down Darry's truck to see the damage. Maybe it can be fixed, but I have to go see it."

"Do you want us to go in there with him?" Two-Bit offered.

Steve shook his head, "No, I'll go ahead. And then I'll see what he wants to do after."

Two-Bit nodded, "Okay, we'll wait out here." He turned and saw Johnny still looking out the window. He threw an arm across Johnny's shoulders, "They'll be fine. They are tough guys."

Steve took a deep breath. He knew the worst was about to come. Not only because Soda was really close to his little brother, but because Pony was not in any good condition. He walked back over to Soda. "Want to see Pony?" He slowly nodded. "Okay." Slowly, Soda began walking into Pony's room. Steve followed closely behind, preparing himself for whatever they were going to walk into. Once they entered, Soda's knees got weak.

"Oh my God," Soda gasped. There was a new addition to all of Ponyboy's gear. There was now a bag of blood attached to him. "What is going on?" Soda teared up. The nurse walked in and saw the horror on his face.

"He's having a blood transfusion for the internal bleeding. We're going to see if that helps without needing to do surgery," she explained.

Steve helped Soda into a chair before he collapsed. "How is he doing?" he asked while Soda tried calming himself down.

The nurse checked the machines and checked on Pony's condition. "Not much change has happened," she said, "But don't lose hope. It hasn't even been 24 hours. A lot can change."

Soda shot up from the chair and grabbed Steve, "I need to go. Please."

"Okay, let's go, buddy." Steve helped Soda out. He turned to Two-Bit and Johnny. "You guys can go in if you want. Try talking to them, the nurse said that could help."

Steve got Sodapop outside the hospital to get some air. "Can I have a cigarette?" Soda begged, "Please."

Steve fished out a cigarette and lighter. He watched Soda take a long, shaky drag. "You didn't want to try and talk to Ponyboy?"

Soda shook his head, "I couldn't, Steve, I just couldn't."

"Okay, it's okay. Not a big deal. You heard the nurse, they are trying that blood stuff before surgery. If surgery hasn't happened, there must not be a big emergency, right?" Soda continued taking drags. "Listen, I need to go take care of something real quick. Do you want to stay here, or do you want me to bring you home?"

"I-I have to stay here. Just in case."

"Okay, let's go talk to Two-Bit then." After some time outside, the boys found Two-Bit comforting a distraught Johnny in the waiting room. Soda just walked up and pulled Johnny into a hug.

"Two-Bit," Steve motioned him over.

"Steve, they do not look good," Two-Bit said quietly, "I mean...I know you said they were in the hospital, but I didn't realize...I didn't think..."

"I know," Steve nodded, "It is bad. I...I don't know what to expect of this, honestly. But I'm not letting that on towards Soda. I'm going to check out the truck, but Soda wants to stay here. Will you chill out here until I get back?"

Two-Bit nodded, "I'll help out anyway I can. We got to be here for each other."

"Thanks pal."


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed! Your support means a lot!

Steve decided to go straight for the police station. He didn't like the idea of going in there. It wasn't like the police favored the greasers, but they should have the accident report and know what happened to the truck. Steve had been to jail once. Would they recognize him like they do Dally? Steve just shook the thought away. He had to find out about the truck, so he'd have to get over the anxieties of the police station, and the police.

Walking into the station, Steve made his way to the front counter. There was an officer sitting there writing out some paperwork.

"Yes, what can I help you with?" the officer asked.

Steve placed his elbows on the high counter, "I'm hoping you can help me with something from last night?"

"Okay," the officer put his pen down and looked up at Steve.

"See, my best friend was in a car accident last night with his brothers. His brothers are in the hospital, not responsive, and my best friend is kind of...well he's not all here right now, you know?" Steve explained, "I just want to know what happened to the truck. He doesn't seem to know the condition or where it is, so I was hoping you could help me with that."

"What's the name?" the officer asked.

"The Curtis'. Darrel, Sodapop, and Ponyboy. The vehicle involved was a red truck. That was their vehicle anyway, I'm not sure if anyone else was involved. My friend isn't being very clear on everything."

"Give me a moment," the officer got up and went to look. Steve looked around the office area. There were officers working. They weren't really paying much attention to Steve. He remembered how much it sucked the time he got arrested. He wasn't happy about it, of course, but it was more embarrassing than anything else. Steve wasn't sure if Dally thought it was embarrassing. He made it seem like a proud moment anytime he got involved with the law, but maybe that was an act. Steve sure didn't like it or care to brag about it. He didn't care to make it happen again just for glory.

The officer returned with a few sheets of paper. "And you are?"

"I'm a good friend of the family. I've been at the hospital helping out since last night," Steve explained. He knew there was probably some protocol on letting information out to a stranger, but Steve was hoping the officer wouldn't give him a hard time about it. Greasers tended to lie, yes, but what could a greaser gain out of lying about this?

"Well, I can't really give you details of the accident at this time, but as far as the truck, it was towed to the junk yard," the officer began.

"It's getting trashed?" Steve asked with slight panic.

"No," the officer explained, "It got placed there until the family got out of the hospital. It's just on hold. At the time, the officer on duty wasn't sure where to bring the truck. As you said, your friend was having a hard time with everything, so he wasn't being very clear with the police where to bring the truck. Technically your friend could go get the truck whenever. It's not like we need it for anything further of the accident."

"Does it say the condition?" Steve asked, "Is it even worth the trouble?"

"I wasn't the officer on duty, but from the bit that's written in the report, I think the family was in worse condition than the truck."

Steve felt a slight bit of hope, "Do you think they'd release the truck to me?"

The officer looked around, "I'll be honest with you. You _should _bring your friend to sign off on it. Your friend _should _be the one to pick up the truck, since it's in his brother's name." He shrugged, "But, if you go there and give it a try, they may just release it to you just fine. Maybe just bring something to prove the ownership of the truck if your friend isn't going there willingly."

Steve nodded catching the drift, "Thank you for your help."

"Have a good day, son," the officer said.

Steve walked out of the station and hopped in his car. The junk yard wasn't too far, so he made his way there right away. Steve hoped everything was going okay with Soda, Two-Bit, and Johnny. He hoped he wasn't missing anything big that Soda would need him there for. "Just hang on, buddy," Steve muttered to himself, "I'll be there in a bit. I'm here for you."

Once he arrived, he decided not to try and get the truck at that moment. He'd need someone to help him, more than anything, but he'd also try to get Soda to go with him. But maybe Steve could at least get a look at the truck. Steve began walking around the fenced yard. It was a big yard. He had been there lots of times, scrapping for parts. If he spotted a lot of parts he wanted to take with him, he'd get Two-Bit to help him sneak in and steal it all. Getting closer to the back, he finally caught the eye of Darry's truck in a distance. Hurrying over, he got to a spot where he could get a better look. He climbed the fence and positioned himself at the top. Squinting his eyes, he took a good look at the truck. The officer seemed correct. The truck didn't seem like a total loss. 'I think I could fix that,' Steve thought, 'Maybe I can borrow the DX tow truck to get it out.'

Steve hurried back down the fence before he was spotted. Looking at it one last time, he got puzzled. Something wasn't right about how the truck looked. Realizing there wasn't anything he could do about it at that moment, he got in his car and headed back for the hospital.


	5. Chapter 5

Steve returned to the hospital. He didn't see anyone in the waiting room. That could be a good sign or bad sign. He headed to the rooms. There he saw Two-Bit, Johnny, and Dallas Winston sitting in the little waiting area. "Hey guys," Steve greeted.

"Hey Steve," Two-Bit got up.

"You told Dally?" Steve looked over Two-Bit's shoulder and got a closer look at Dally talking to Johnny, who looked quite distraught. The truth was probably hitting him. "Just hang tight, kid," Steve whispered.

"Yeah, yeah I told him. Did you find the truck?"

Steve nodded, "The fuzz told me that Soda might have to go with me for them to release it to me though. I don't know how Soda would handle that right now."

"So you think you can fix it?"

"From what I could see, maybe. I might use the DX truck to get it. It didn't look as bad as I had imagined..." Steve went silent.

"What?"

"It's just, Soda started telling me the story of how the accident happened, and I saw the truck. From where his story was going and what I was picturing of the damage, it didn't really match up." Steve was sure he heard Soda's bits of the story correctly, and Steve was sure he pictured what had happened next. What he pictured the truck looked like, and what Soda was saying didn't match.

Two-Bit shrugged, "Well, you also said you only got like two sentences of the story, so maybe it doesn't make sense right now."

"Yeah, maybe," Steve shrugged it off for now and looked around behind him, "Is Soda in there?"

Two-Bit nodded, "He's with Darry right now. He's gone in each room a couple of times, then it gets too hard for him and he leaves and needs a minute to calm down." Two-Bit looked down at the floor shuffling his shoes. "I've never seen Soda like this. I mean, obviously I've never seen any of them the way they are right now...but Soda is just, kind of falling apart. I wasn't sure how to help him. Like, what was needed for him when his parents died? He couldn't have been any better than he is right now."

"Patience," Steve simply said. He did remember the Curtis parent's death. Patience was exactly what Sodapop needed for times like this.

In the room, Sodapop sat in the chair tapping his foot. Not much had changed all day. Darry was still showing improvements, they were very little ones, but his body was showing signs of something at least. Ponyboy, not so much. Soda didn't let Darry in on that though when he would talk to him. Worrying Darry wouldn't do him any good.

"I guess Steve is staying with me," Soda went on, "I'm starting to remember going home last night. I swear Darry, I thought I had gotten blacked out drunk the way I felt this morning. I guess that's what these things can do to you though. They just mess with your mind. But anyway, we stopped by Steve's house and he grabbed a bag. I remember being confused as to why we were there, but now that I think about it, he was just preparing to stay at our house just like that. No prep needed or planning, he just changed his life around for me."

The machines beeped steadily.

"I don't know what I would do without that guy. If he wasn't my best friend, I'd just be home by myself during this. Going home to an empty house...that'd be so weird. I don't even want to imagine that right now."

Beep. Beep. Beep.

"I don't know how long until you come home, but I can't wait for you to. The doctor says you are showing little signs. That's big news to me, because then I get a little more hope of bringing you guys home. But maybe I don't want that to happen too soon, because I'll have to be a maid to you two," Soda slightly chuckled.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

"I guess they'll send me home again tonight, or at least Steve will force me to go. I won't want to, but I guess it's what has to happen, huh?"

Beep.

"Well, I think I'm going to go try and see Ponyboy again. The doctor said if you guys make the right improvements, you can room together eventually. There is just too much going on for both of you right now to bunch everything together, you know? Well I'll come see you again, I'm sure. I love you Darry." Soda kissed Darry's forehead and left the room.

When the door opened, Steve and Two-Bit watched Soda leave Darry's room and go straight into Ponyboy's.

"He lasted in there for quite a while, longer than before," Two-Bit nodded, "That's good. He seems calmer too."

Steve turned back to Two-Bit, "Did the doctor say anything?"

Two-Bit just shook his head, "He basically said there is nothing 'official' to report. So...we just don't know."

Soda sat down in a chair next to Pony's bed. He was having a tougher time with Ponyboy. He clearly had worse injuries. More things seemed broken or damaged, he was still at risk of surgery, and he had more things hooked up to him and holding his body still. Soda blinked quickly to put the tears away. He had to stay positive if his little brother was able to hear him.

"Hey Ponyboy," Soda smiled through. "You are a tough kid, you know that? I can tell your body is just fighting it's ass off. I'm sure you've heard the doctor or nurses say you may have to have surgery, but I don't want you to worry about that. It will just fix you up faster and get you home. But if they haven't done it yet, that's probably saying something too, huh? I was just telling Darry that Steve is staying at our house. I know you guys don't get along the best, but I know you'd be grateful that someone is staying with me...keeping me sane...and..."

Soda grabbed Pony's hand into his, slightly hoping he'd feel a squeeze, or something.

"Well, I think Steve is back, so I'm going to go see him. I'll come back later," Soda winced as he stood up and gave Pony a kiss, "I love you so much, Ponyboy." He hurried out of the room.


	6. Chapter 6

At the end of the day, the greasers departed the hospital and went there own ways. Johnny seemed to be attached to Dally for the time, so he was probably going wherever he was going. Steve didn't blame him. This was a lot to take in as your mind finally processed the situation. Besides Dally, Pony was Johnny's best friend. They just got each other. Pony and Johnny were there for each other in the gang. If one of them didn't have the other...Steve didn't even want to think about it. It'd be like if he didn't have Sodapop. Steve wasn't even sure if his brain had processed this situation. He was too busy taking care of Sodapop and running around doing anything else. It had only been 24 hours, but to Steve it felt like he had done a week's worth of things to take care of.

"I'll follow you guys home," Two-Bit said, "We can play cards or something."

Steve looked at Soda for approval. He slowly nodded. Deep down, Steve was happy Two-Bit was going to tag along. Even if Soda just went to bed or just sat around, Steve could sure use some sort of distraction. The three arrived at the Curtis household and settled into the living room. Steve found a deck of cards while Two-Bit got some beers.

"You don't have to spend the night here, you know?" Steve said leaning against the kitchen doorway.

Two-Bit cocked an eyebrow, "I'll probably be too drunk to leave."

Steve grinned, "Please keep up the smart ass comments. I need them." He turned towards the living room.

"Ha!" Two-Bit belted, "That wasn't even a smart ass comment. I'm just going to help Darry out by cleaning out his beers. He can get fresh ones when he gets home!"

Steve laughed as he settled onto the couch next to Soda.

"Do you want one?" Two-Bit asked Soda, holding out a beer.

Soda didn't drink, but he sure could use one right now. "Yeah."

The three boys played cards for a while. Soda liked the distraction, even though he wasn't distracted enough to cheat or try to really win. He was grateful his friends were helping him through this time. He never really realized how amazing the people in his life were. When things get really rough, they sure are there for each other. The uncertainty of everything though was weighing in on him, and the accident was only yesterday. He had felt good talking to his brothers though. Even if there wasn't a sign they were listening, Soda felt good for putting in the effort. Something was telling him that they were listening, or getting some sort of vibe from Soda. He felt bad though that he couldn't last in Ponyboy's room. It was just too hard. He wanted to be in there, but every time he felt confident enough to give it a go, something happens and he feels the need to get out right away. Hopefully some good news will come along soon, and that can all change.

By the end of the night, Two-Bit crashed on the couch. He wanted to help Steve out, but he was also too drunk, as he had proudly announced earlier. Steve helped Soda into bed.

"Do you want me to stay in here again?"

"Please," Soda replied, "I hope it's not weird or anything."

Steve shook his head, "Shoot, do you remember in elementary? Hell, and middle school? Sleepovers usually were me and you bunking in a bed together, and it didn't mean anything then."

Soda smiled, "Thanks Steve."

Steve got settled in. Soda watched as he took another one of his pills and reached for the light switch. He thought about asking for one. It really knocked him out last night. At the same time, Soda wasn't sure exactly what the pills were. He figured he was exhausted enough to go to sleep, so he left it alone.

_The Curtis brothers were on their way home from the pizza place. They were proud of Darry for what he had accomplished. The extra money was going to bring some great changes for their family. Darry had let Soda drive home. He was just full of energy and couldn't sit still. Darry almost offered Soda to just drive if he hadn't jumped into asking. During the drive, Soda and Pony were talking about what they could do with the extra money. Darry didn't want to dream too big though. He told his little brothers he'd have to be a little responsible first. Catch up on bills and put some away into savings. Soda and Pony didn't think it hurt to dream though._

_"You guys want to see a trick?" Soda asked excitedly._

_"No," Darry said firmly._

_"It's not anything crazy. Steve taught me," Soda bounced in the driver seat._

_"Soda, calm down," Pony laughed, "And if Steve taught you it, then it is definitely crazy."_

_"Well, I got this! I can do it! Check it out!" Soda yelled as he began trying out his driving trick._

_"Sodapop, look ou-!" Darry screamed._

_It all happened so fast. The next thing Soda saw was the outside through a cracked windshield. "Wha-What just happ-happened..." Soda said through shaky lips. He was able to climb out the broken door window. He felt the glass scratch him. "Ow," Soda muttered. He could feel bruises forming instantly. His body was in pain. His brain was trying to put pieces together, but it only made him begin panicking. He turned back and screamed at the scene..._

Steve shot up in bed to yelling. He quickly turned the light on and saw Soda thrashing and screaming.

"Ponyboy! Darry! No!"

The bedroom door was thrown open. Two-Bit stood there and saw the scene. Terror filled his eyes.

Steve got on the bed and started shaking Sodapop. "Soda, wake up, it's okay."

Two-Bit walked to the other side of the bed and rubbed at Soda. "Come on, buddy. Wake up."

"We're right here Soda," Steve gently said. After some nudges, Soda's eyes flew open and he looked terrified. The boys couldn't tell if he was there with them or still in his dream. "Soda, it's us. You're okay." Soda looked at Steve, looked at Two-Bit, and looked around the room. His face lost color. He closed his eyes for a moment, and then shot up from the bed. He ran out and down the hall. Steve and Two-Bit heard him begin to get sick in the bathroom. Two-Bit just looked at Steve with fear. He had no idea what had happened. He obviously didn't expect anything like that to happen. "It's okay," Steve assured him, "Just a bad dream."

"He gave me a heart attack," Two-Bit leaned back against the dresser, "I thought someone broke in or something."

Steve assured Two-Bit again that everything would be okay. He walked out of the room and sat with Soda in the bathroom.

As Soda cried into the toilet, Steve rubbed his back, "Shh, it's okay Soda. It was just a bad dream. You are okay." Steve and Soda were in the bathroom for a few minutes. They made their way back into the bedroom, where Two-Bit was waiting with some water.

"I'm sorry, Soda," Two-Bit handed him the water, "I probably shouldn't have offered you a drink tonight."

"It wasn't that," Soda brushed the comment away while taking a sip of water, "Steve?"

"Yeah, buddy?"

"Can I have a pill please?"

"A pill?" Two-Bit asked looking at Steve.

Steve bit his lip, "Yeah, here you go." He ignored Two-Bit's look and handed Soda one of his pills. Soda took it and tried relaxing in bed.

"What is it?" Two-Bit asked again.

"Nothing," Steve hushed him, "It helps you sleep."

Considering the circumstance, Two-Bit let it go and the three boys settled back to sleep for the night.


	7. Chapter 7

Dally brought Johnny to Buck Merril's place for the night. Figuring the kid was better off with him at a roadhouse than being alone, he brought Johnny up to one of the spare rooms. Dally wasn't doing the greatest with the situation either, but he'd have to keep a strong shield on for Johnny. Thankfully Buck's wasn't too busy that night, so it wasn't too crazy for Johnny. "How are you holding up, kid?" Dally asked. It wasn't that unusual for Johnny to be quiet, but you could tell when something was really bothering him. Believe it or not, it was a different kind of quiet.

"I don't know," Johnny replied, lying back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. Johnny wanted to cry. He wanted to spill every emotion he was feeling, from being sad to angry, depressed to livid. He didn't understand what was happening with his best friend. It all happened so fast. Out of nowhere he finds out his best friend and his older brother are in the hospital, not even awake or conscious. What did that even mean? How bad was it? What were the odds of making it or not? Johnny had no idea. He wanted to know, he wanted to understand the expectations, but did he really? Being at a place like Buck's with Dally, Johnny fought against the tears. He didn't cry.

"They'll be okay," Dally said. He obviously had no idea how true that was. He hadn't gone into the rooms to see the brothers, so he didn't know how they looked. The way everyone else was acting though, he couldn't imagine it was any good. "Shoot, it was just a car accident." Dally wasn't sure if he said that to comfort himself more, or Johnny. He had seen gun shootings in New York and people survived those, so how bad could a car accident be?

"We don't really know how bad it was," Johnny put in.

"Talking like that ain't gonna help shit," Dally firmly said, trying not to sound snappy, "So quit that. We literally don't know anything, so don't be jumping to any bad cases. They are both plenty tough."

Johnny sat back up. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be spending the night at Buck's. He didn't want to be away from Dally either. Dally gave him a feeling of protection, even if he wasn't the most comforting person to talk to. Dally was tough and nothing got to Dally. Johnny always figured if he was with Dally, nothing could hurt him. It gave him more feeling that Ponyboy would be okay. Although Johnny also knew Dally took him to Buck's, because it was the easiest place for him to remain tough. He wouldn't let his guard down here, no matter how bad any situation would get.

"He's my best friend, man," Johnny choked back the tears, "I can't lose him."

Dally sighed. He knew Johnny was scared. It made Dally mad that he couldn't just use his muscles or tough guy charm to protect Johnny from this, or make the brothers better. This was something they had to solely rely on the doctors, and time, for healing. He was powerless in what would be the outcome of this situation, and that only angered him more. If Dally had to feel insecure, or weak, he didn't like it. He couldn't go off and get drunk to forget about it though, not if he was going to truly be there for Johnny.

He took a seat next to Johnny on the bed and put his arm around him. "I'm sure everything will be okay," Dally said, "Just keep your head up, kid." Johnny slowly nodded. He went back onto the pillow and tried relaxing enough to fall asleep.

The next morning, Two-Bit and Steve got ready to bring Soda back to the hospital. He had passed out pretty quick after his episode. Two-Bit didn't sleep well after it though. He was shocked at the scene he saw during the night. He had never seen anyone like that before. It did give him a good scare. He knew Soda would be in distress from everything going on, but he hadn't expected anything like that. Nothing could have prepared him for that, and he wasn't sure where it could go if Darry and Pony's healing takes a while. Thankfully, Steve was there to help. Two-Bit wasn't sure what he would've done by himself, and that did make him feel bad.

The three boys piled in Steve's car. They took turns rubbing at their eyes, stretching, and yawning. No one got the best sleep, not that anyone expected to for a while. "I'm going to be getting coffee when we get there," Steve said. Soda slumped down in the passenger seat. He knew it was his fault Steve didn't get great sleep. Steve noticed and put a hand on Soda's shoulder, letting him know it was fine. "I'm not going anywhere, Soda," he said quietly as he watched Soda stare out the window.

"Coffee ain't usually my forte," Two-Bit spoke up from the back seat, "But ditto on that. I could use something to give me some energy."

"I don't care how little sleep you get," Steve backed out of the driveway, "Your energy will catch up to you, add coffee, and...yeah, I don't even want to be around that."

Two-Bit grinned, "Hey, that's something we may need though."

"Have you ever had coffee before?" Steve peered through his rear view mirror as he talked to Two-Bit.

"No, my mom doesn't think it'd be good for me."

Steve shook his head, "My point proven. We're in for a day, that's for sure."

At the hospital, the three boys kept their promise as they headed for the food court. They each got a coffee and some doughnuts and sat at a table. "Eat Soda," Steve said shoving a doughnut towards him.

"Tough love," Two-Bit commented.

Steve shrugged, "It's what I know best."

"And if he doesn't eat," Two-Bit said pouring some milk in his coffee, "You'll just beat him, that's all. Damn this is bitter, how does anyone drink this black?"

"One, men drink it black, so man up. Two, yes I may have to beat some food in him," Steve smirked, looking at Soda.

Soda grabbed one and took a bite, "That's okay. I am pretty hungry."

"I didn't even think to ever eat yesterday. We were so caught up in everything else," Steve took a sip of his coffee, "And what the hell, beer is bitter, so how can you not handle coffee?"

"This is so different from beer, don't even compare it to the drink of the God's!" Two-Bit laughed.

Steve shook his head, "Maybe you should get some orange juice." The three boys continued to eat. The food court wasn't too busy since visiting hours were just beginning to open. Steve was happy to just see Soda eating something. He put a reminder in his head to make sure they had lunch and dinner too.

"Hopefully we get some good news up there," Two-Bit was shoving down his fourth doughnut. The boys finished their food and coffees. Steve got a second coffee in a cup to bring with him. Two-Bit walked over to him at the register. "Those pills make you pretty foggy in the morning?"

Steve rubbed at his eyes, "There is a lot going on Two-Bit, is it really that hard to believe I could be exhausted?"

Two-Bit shrugged, "Guess not. Just trying to figure out what's going with you."

"Two-Bit..."

"Do you take on every night? Every day? Are you letting Soda take these?"

"Damnit, Two-Bit, I..."

"Steve," Two-Bit interrupted, "The only thing I'm worried about with it is Soda. Clearly he thinks they are going to help him sleep or escape this mess or whatever, don't let him get attached."

"I'm not stupid Two-Bit," Steve said slowly back walking over to Soda, "I only gave him one willingly the first night, because he was in such shock. Last night he didn't take one until that attack happened. Just don't worry about it." They hushed about it when they got to Soda. Two-Bit still wasn't sure what Steve was taking. Even if it was just for help sleeping, Soda was not in the mental state to be taking something new.

When they arrived upstairs, they walked up to the desk to find out any news from a nurse before going in the rooms.

"Ponyboy Curtis is being prepped for surgery right now," she said, "So you won't be able to go in there."


	8. Chapter 8

"Surgery?" Two-Bit asked, startled, "What happened?" Steve had a hand on Soda's arm, expecting his knees to get weak.

The nursed looked over the paper, "It looks like they may have had the internal bleeding under control last night, but then it started up again this morning, rapidly. They really had no other choice at this point, they have to perform surgery now."

Soda broke Steve's hand grip and began pacing back and forth. "Steve," he suddenly stopped in his tracks and partially whispered, "I have to see him."

Steve turned to Soda replying in a low voice, "You can't buddy." He turned back towards the nurse, "Thank you. Are we able to see Darry if we want?"

The nurse nodded with a smile, "He still hasn't woke up, but you can certainly go in there."

"Thanks," Two-Bit said. The three boys went into the waiting area to decide their next move.

"I have to see him," Soda looked at Steve and Two-Bit with a begging expression, "What...What if something happens? What if I-I don't get to say..." Soda buried his face into his hands and began sobbing. He was hoping for some reason, somehow, Steve and Two-Bit could fix the situation at that moment. Turn back time or something, so Soda could see his little brother before this happened. Soda felt extremely stuck. There had to be a solution, something or someone had to be able to help him. He needed to see Pony, but couldn't. But the fact that he couldn't wasn't okay with him, and nothing else was going to make that okay. He felt his heart begin to race. He felt his body getting ready to physically panic. Quickly, Soda tried thinking of a way to halt the panic.

Steve pulled his best friend into a hug, as if sensing what was about to happen, "I'm sorry, Soda. You can't see him right now. They need to fix this problem right now. He'll be okay."

Two-Bit looked over at the two. He gave Steve a worried look, obviously saying he hoped Steve was right. Standing up, Two-Bit excused himself to see if he could call around for Dally. He strolled to the payphone down in the waiting room. First he tried Buck's. "Hey Buck?" Two-Bit said hearing Buck's voice at the other end.

"Yeah, who is this?"

"It's Two-Bit Mathews. Is Dally there?"

"I think he's still up in one of the rooms, yeah."

"Can you get him please? It's urgent." Two-Bit heard a knock as the phone was placed down. Buck could be a hard ass, but if you said something was urgent, he would be cooperative. About five minutes passed when he heard the phone shuffle again.

"Two-Bit? What's going on, man?" Dally's rough, and tired, voice asked.

"Dally, can you get here with Johnny? They are doing surgery on Ponyboy right now. Something happened last night and they need to fix it now. Soda wasn't able to see him or anything," Two-Bit explained.

"Fuck," Dally muttered, "Okay, okay, we'll get there."

Steve and Soda watched as Pony's room opened. They had finished prepping and were beginning to wheel him from his room to a surgery room. "Steve, Steve," Soda began pointing to his little brother.

Steve could hear the panic in Soda's voice and held onto him tight, "Shhh, it's okay, Soda. They are going to fix the problem. That's all it is."

"Steve," Soda choked on tears, unable to say anything beyond that. Steve could feel him getting tense and try to move. His older brother instincts were about to go into panic and save mode. Steve just closed his eyes as he tightened his grip. He didn't want to hold Soda back, he didn't want to put Soda through anger and worry, but he had to. "It's going to be okay," he whispered to Soda, and to himself, "It's going to be okay."

He began to feel another pair of arms wrap around Soda with him. Opening his eyes, he saw Two-Bit helping him relax their scared friend. "Soda," Two-Bit began, "Freaking out isn't going to do any good." When the last of the doctors went down the hall, the boys let go of each other. Soda just stared down the hall, as if they would return within seconds saying the problem stopped on it's own. He just didn't understand. Ponyboy didn't deserve this. Not for his own damn mistake.

"Ponyboy," he mumbled through choked emotions.

Steve got up from his chair and walked over to the windows. The sun was shining through. Maybe that was a sign. Two-Bit followed him. "Dally will get here soon with Johnny," he said.

"Good."

Two-Bit turned to look at Soda, who was still staring down the hall, shaking. "Do you think he'll be okay?"

Steve continued to look out the window, "Which one?" Shaking his head, he continued, "I don't know what this surgery is or does. All we can do is hope." Two-Bit nodded. "Listen, I'm going to go down to the DX and talk to the boss. I do have to work tomorrow, which I should do, because I don't know what money Soda even has right now. But I'll talk to him about Soda's shifts."

"Are you going right now?"

Sighing, Steve replied, "I don't know. Is there going to be any good time to go?"

"Go," Two-Bit agreed, "I got him. The surgery will probably take a few hours anyway. Go ahead."

"Thanks Two-Bit. I'm glad you've been here to help."

"Well, as strong as you are Steve Randle, you can us help too," Two-Bit grinned. Steve shook his head. He knew Two-Bit was right, but he wasn't one to ask for help easily.

Steve arrived at the DX and walked inside the store. He got to the back where his boss was. "Hey," Steve greeted.

"Steve," Mr. Huffman replied with surprise, "You don't work today."

"I don't, but I need to talk to you. There's been an accident, and Soda might be out for a while."

Back at the hospital, Soda couldn't help but keep staring down the hallway. He didn't want to miss anything. A doctor coming through or Ponyboy being brought back. He wanted to go talk to Darry, but he couldn't get himself to move. Not with the chance of missing anything.

"The desk said it could be a while," Two-Bit said to Soda.

Soda turned around and settled in his chair, "I know. I just...I just can't tell Darry. I don't want him to hear me say Pony's getting surgery done and then it hurts his healing. But I don't know what else to talk about with him right now."

Two-Bit nodded in understanding, "Well don't rush yourself. It's not like Darry knows we're here right now and is wondering why you won't go talk to him. He might be sleeping or mentally delirious and doesn't know what's going on anyway. So it's okay to take your time. Maybe when Steve gets back we can go get some lunch."

"I don't know if I'll have an appetite," Soda admitted. Two-Bit put his arm around Soda's shoulders.

"Well, I will," Two-Bit grinned.

The doors to the section opened and Dally walked in with Johnny, who looked like shit. He looked almost as bad as Sodapop. Two-Bit and Soda stood up to meet with them.

"What happened to the kid?" Dally asked.

"His internal bleeding started back up, pretty bad from what it sounds like," Two-Bit explained.

"They took him back a while ago," Soda said, looking back down the hallway. Johnny peeked past the boys and looked down the hallway as well.

"D-Did you get to see him?" Johnny asked.

Two-Bit shook his head, "They were taking him back once we got here."

"How long until we hear anything?" Dally asked.

"You know hospitals," Soda commented turning away from the hallway.

Two-Bit nodded in agreement, "It could be a while. We might go get some grub once Steve gets back." The four greasers were sitting for another half hour before Steve got back. They still hadn't heard anything. Soda was trying to convince himself that no news was good news, but was the problem not an easy one since it was taking so long? He just wished they would give updates throughout a surgery.

"Did you get things figured out at work?" Two-Bit asked as Steve sat down.

Steve nodded, "Yeah. Soda, Mr. Huffman is getting your shifts covered. I'll have some and some will be given to others for the next couple weeks. If you ever want to work though, just let me know."

Soda nodded, suddenly feeling dumb for not realizing he indeed had a job to worry about, "Thanks Steve. I hadn't even thought of work. Thanks for helping me out."

"No problem, buddy."

"Okay, is anyone else hungry?" Two-Bit asked, "Might be nice to eat instead of sitting in silence."

"Sure, let's go eat," Steve said. The greasers went downstairs and decided to get out of the hospital for lunch. They all piled in Steve's car and headed for the Tasty Freeze. "Don't worry, Soda," Steve said as he pulled into the parking lot, "We'll only be gone for about a half hour. There still won't be news probably."

The greasers found a booth to sit in. "I'll help buy," Dally offered pulling out some money and setting it on the table.

"I got the rest," Two-Bit offered reaching for his wallet.

"Thanks guys," Soda slightly smiled, which Steve loved seeing. He missed his buddy's happy-go-lucky smile. The boys all ordered burgers, fries, and shakes. Steve, Dally, and Two-Bit happily wolfed down some food. They were the type where worry increased their eating habits. Soda was taking nibbles off his burger, but was chugging down his shake. The cold chocolate flavored ice cream felt good to him. Johnny was eating his fries slowly, one at a time.

Steve walked Soda and Johnny back to his car while Dally and Two-Bit sorted the bill. "Hey Soda, I need to ask you something," Steve brought up.

"What?" Soda asked. Steve was going to try and ask Soda something since he seemed a little more there in his head today.

"Can you come with me to get the truck from the junk yard? If you don't want to, that's okay, I can see if they will just release it to me," Steve asked.

Soda ran a hand through his hair, "When?"

Steve shrugged, "Whenever. The sooner we get it from them, so they don't think it's just abandoned, the better."

"Can we go back to the hospital first?" Soda asked seeing Dally and Two-Bit head out.

"Yeah, of course," Steve started the car.

They all entered the hospital again. They made their way to the stairs to head up to the next floor. Soda felt his lunch try and make it's way back up with each step. He didn't know what to expect. Before they made it to the doors, Soda b-lined it for the bathroom. He felt himself begin to hyperventilate. Pacing the bathroom back and forth, he tried to breathe, but felt his lungs come up short. The bathroom door opened and Steve walked in.

"Steve," Soda gasped, clutching his chest with one hand and grabbing his hair with the other, "I can't breathe. I-I...breathe..."

Steve grabbed Soda and helped him to the floor. "Soda, it's okay, take a deep breath in...and then hold it...and slowly out..." Soda followed Steve's instructions. He tried doing the breathing a few times, and began to feel himself relax. "Are you okay?" Steve looked Soda in the eyes.

Soda began to slowly nod. The attack caught up to him as he felt a few tears roll down his cheeks. "I think so," he mumbled.

"Take a minute to calm down, okay?" Steve stood up and waited.

Soda shook his head. He was beginning to feel like an idiot. He couldn't believe all he was putting Steve through. He didn't deserve this shit.

"Are you ready?" Steve asked. Soda nodded. Steve extended a hand and helped Soda to his feet. They exited the bathroom and began through the doors without the other greasers asking any questions. Soda was beginning to feel exhaustion and a headache from his episode in the bathroom, but he still couldn't help but wonder what he was about to walk into. Was Pony still in surgery? Was he out, awake, and recovering? Or did something worst come about this surgery?


	9. Chapter 9

The greasers walked through the doors and took seats in the waiting area. Soda decided to sit with the gang and have Steve go ask the receptionist any updates. He was too scared to hear anything that could be going wrong.

"Hey there, is there any updates on Ponyboy Curtis? He was being brought back for an emergency surgery," Steve asked the front desk.

"He's still back there," the nurse at the desk responded with a smile, "But I haven't gotten any concerning updates, so he may be out soon to recover."

Steve nodded, "Thank you." He walked back to the gang and relayed the quick information. Taking a seat, he patted Soda's knee and gave him a small grin.

"You know, I'm going to go see Darry," Two-Bit stood up, "I'm sure the big guy misses hearing my voice. Do you want to come with Soda?" Soda nodded and stood up too. It probably wasn't a bad idea to have a little distraction until Ponyboy was done. They both walked into Darry's room. Soda wasn't sure how to feel about Darry looking the exact same. It didn't look like they had done anything to him. They were just waiting until he woke up. Soda thought it sucked that there didn't seem to be improvements, but it was probably good that it wasn't the other way around either. He wish he could see what was going on in Darry's body, just to see if it was healing good or if something was going wrong that no one was seeing yet.

"I guess it's good it doesn't look like he went downhill," Soda commented out loud.

"What are we waiting on with him exactly?" Two-Bit asked glancing at the machines.

"Him to just wake up," Soda shrugged, "Doctor said everything in his body might be using this coma to heal up any trauma, I guess."

"You know what I heard?"

"Do I really want to know what you heard?" Soda cocked an eyebrow.

Two-Bit smirked, "For real, I heard if you go through something traumatic enough, sometimes your mind will just block it out to protect you. Darry could wake up and be confused why he's here. He may never remember the accident."

Soda nodded, "Well, maybe then he won't blame me for what happened..."

"Shut it, kid," Two-Bit pointed at Soda aggressively.

Soda looked at the floor, "Sorry."

Two-Bit walked over and put a hand on Darry's shoulder, "What's up, Superman? We got everyone here. Soda's in here with me. Steve, Dally, and Johnny are sitting out in the waiting area. Now I know you work hard and are tired and everything, but this nap has gone far enough. You got big muscles all over your damn body, and you're telling me you can't simply, oh I don't know, open your eyes? You yell at your brothers, and even me, all the time for not getting up on time. You yell at me to 'get a job.' I'm pretty sure your perfect job attendance in this life is ruined now buddy. I'll be holding this shit over your head."

Soda let out a laugh. It had been a while since he laughed that good. Even though he didn't feel like laughing, he couldn't help it with Two-Bit around.

"Ha ha see?" Two-Bit pointed at Soda while continuing to talk to Darry, "Got your brother to laugh, finally. We're waiting on you to wake up now, so let's get to it." Two-Bit strolled over to the window while Soda sat next to Darry.

"Hey Darry," Soda began, "I'm sorry I haven't come in much today. I don't know if you can tell the time of day or not, but I'm sorry either way. You've been in this coma a couple days now. Doesn't seem to be getting worse though, so I guess that's good." Soda brought his thumb to his lips and began nibbling. "I just want you to wake up, Darry. I don't know how to handle this without you. Steve's been a big help, everyone has in some way or another, but I still need you."

Two-Bit turned from the window and looked at Soda, "You got all of us, Soda, you know that."

Soda looked up with tear-filled eyes, "I-I know."

"Don't be worrying Darry," Two-Bit looked at the older brother, "Soda is in good hands. You just worry about getting better and waking up for us. You'll be stronger than ever...as if it's needed." Two-Bit winked at Soda. He smiled in return. He was grateful for Two-Bit to be with him. At least he kept the mood somewhat lit. Soda knew he should try not to be negative or worry Darry too much, but he couldn't always help it. Whenever he's needed help, he went to Darry. That not being a possibility made Soda feel lost. He just hoped that maybe his plea for help would trigger Darry up. Get him up to save Soda from this nightmare he was living in.

Back in the waiting area, the hallway doors opened. Steve, Dally, and Johnny turned and saw Ponyboy being wheeled back into his room. They stood up to get a better look. He was still attached to everything. It seemed like he was attached to everything the hospital could possibly own. He didn't look awake or close to it at all. Steve walked over to the doctor as the nurses got Pony situated in his room. Johnny was right at his heels.

"How is he?" Steve asked the doctor.

"We were able to stop the bleeding," the doctor replied, "So, the surgery was a success. But it did put a bit of a delay in his healing. In fact, it seems it may have put it at a halt."

"What do you mean?" Steve asked with confusion. He knew what delay meant, and he knew what halt meant, but he didn't want to believe what his mind was putting together with those words.

"It added some more stress to his body and his body is trying to react one way or another. His young body is just trying to do a lot at once and it could overdo itself. Only time will tell now."

Steve's eyebrows furrowed, "Only time will tell now what? What do you mean? What does that mean?" More words that he certainly knew the definitions to, but he hoped he was wrong.

The doctor looked between Steve and Johnny, "Time will tell."

"Can we see him at least?"

The doctor nodded and walked away.

Steve heard a gulp behind him. He looked down at Johnny. The expression on Johnny's face was a good indication of what Soda's would look like, maybe add Soda losing his balance and meeting the floor.

"Steve," Johnny mumbled.

Steve pulled him in a hug, "Don't worry about it Johnny. Greasers are tough, you know that. We beat odds, we prove everyone wrong about us. It's what we do."

After a few minutes, Soda and Two-Bit returned to the gang. Soda felt a little lightness to his shoulders. Two-Bit's wisecracks and smart ass attitude made things seem not as bad as they were. Maybe they weren't as bad as Soda thought they were anyway. He liked telling himself that anyway.

"Pony's back," Steve said to Soda, "You can go see him if you want." With Two-Bit's attitude in Darry's room, Soda was actually looking forward to seeing Pony and wasn't feeling as fearful, so he quickly made his way into the room.

"Are you not going to tell him what the doctor said?" Dally asked once Ponyboy's door was closed.

"What did the doctor say?" Two-Bit asked with concern.

Steve sighed, "All the doctor said was time will tell at this point. His body is reacting to the surgery and the healing, I guess. He didn't really go into specifics, so...but no, I'm not saying anything to Sodapop. Not right now. So everyone just keep it to themselves, got it?" Steve had an authoritative tone towards the end. He really didn't want to throw that on Soda's lap right now. The situation was too complicating for Steve to understand, so how could he expect himself to explain it clearly to Sodapop? Everyone agreed to keep it quiet for now.

"Hey Ponyboy," Soda greeted taking a seat. He felt a little down that nothing seemed to have changed. He was still hooked up to everything, and his body could barely move even if he did wake up. It was as if the surgery didn't change a thing. Soda didn't know what he had expected though. Every tube to be taken out? His obvious broken bones to be miraculously healed? His eyes to be wide open and full of life? "Well, I guess the surgery went well since you're back in here. I was just telling Darry how I wish you'd guys wake up. It's...it's just hard dealing with all of this, you know? But don't worry, I do want you guys to get all the rest you need. I want you guys to take your time if it means getting better again."

Soda felt his heart leap as one of the machines began to beep faster. "Pony?" Soda asked. The beeping grew faster. That hadn't happened before. "Ponyboy?" Soda stood from his chair with trembling lips. What was going on? What was he suppose to do? He looked around the room hoping for an answer to pop out at him.

Pony's body began to shake. Soda looked back and forth between the door and his little brother's body. "Pony? What's going on?" Soda cried grabbing at his hair. Suddenly the door flew open and multiple doctors and nurses crowded in. One of the nurses lead Soda out the door before he had a chance to utter a question.

Before he knew it, he was just standing out there, staring at the door. The closed door that held more bodies than it could probably contain. The closed door signaling a big problem. Something scary was going on behind the door. Soda couldn't peel his eyes away from the door when a pair of arms grabbed his shoulders. Soda yelped from his trance as he turned to find Steve.

"What happened?" Steve asked.

"He started shaking," Soda wiped his eyes as the fear began to rise in his throat, "I was just talking and the machines started going faster." Soda put his hands over his ears, trying to block out the horrifying noise the machines had made. They were ringing in his ears. "His body just jumped around."

"Shh," Steve hugged Soda, "It's okay. They'll take care of him." Steve let go from the hug and grabbed Soda's face, "Look at me, Soda. Just look at me." Soda's lips quivered. His body shook. His hands trembled. Through blurry tears, he looked at Steve. "They will take care of him. They will fix this. He will be okay. I promise." Soda's eyes shut tight. He didn't want to be here anymore. He just wanted to disappear. "Do you understand Soda?"

Soda's eyes slowly reopened. His body calmed down. His mouth slightly opened as the tears flowed down more smoothly. He nodded to Steve's question.

"Do you trust me?"

Soda's eyes met with Steve's. "Yes," he quietly responded, "You're all I have right now, Steve."

Steve nodded, "I know. We're going to let the doctors handle this okay. Let's go for a drive right now, okay?"


	10. Chapter 10

Steve wasn't sure if he was going to take Soda back to the hospital the rest of the day. It sounded like Ponyboy may have had a seizure, but Steve didn't want Soda to know for sure. Maybe Pony just needed a lot of rest from the surgery. Either way, it seemed like Soda would be in for a really long day if he stayed there. Maybe it would help if Soda took some time off from the hospital anyway. Being there and handling everything was taking a toll on Steve too.

"Where are we going?" Soda asked. Him noticing they weren't going straight towards home was the only reason he broke out of his deep trance.

"We're going to the DX to grab the tow truck. I can get Darry's truck to the garage and take a look at it. I need your help though getting it released to me," Steve explained, "I don't want the junkyard thinking it's getting abandoned or anything. And when Darry wakes up to a fixed truck, that's got to make his life easier."

Soda nodded, "Okay." Soda couldn't help but think to himself, 'You mean if he wakes up.' That thought made him cringe in his seat. He was grateful Steve pulled him out of the hospital though. He felt like he was completely losing it and could have collapsed into his own hospital bed.

They arrived at the DX gas station. Steve got the keys to the tow truck from their boss. Soda climbed up to the passenger seat of the truck and Steve started it up. Usually Soda liked riding in the big tow truck, but he couldn't even get distracted by the ride. Ponyboy's episode was replaying over and over again in Sodapop's head. No matter what he looked at out the window, or how hard he tried paying attention to anything Steve said, Soda just couldn't get it to stop. Soda laid his head against his propped arm on the door. He began to feel his mind going numb from the replay, like the feelings he was having were starting to become normal and he'd just have to get use to it as his new life. The way Ponyboy's body stiffened and then jumped around uncontrollably was terrifying. Soda didn't think the body could move like that. What even caused his body to do that? The surgery seemed to work, so why did he react that way? Soda was expecting a move in the right direction after the surgery. In fact, he was feeling optimistic about it, like the surgery would help thinks push along at a quicker pace. He was expecting Pony to recover from it and then wake up.

Soda closed his eyes, 'Apparently, it's just not that simple.'

The boys got to the junkyard and were able to retrieve the truck. Since the accident was a closed case and there was no investigation going on, it was done easily. Soda was able to talk to the guys at the junkyard without leaving the tow truck, and he was thankful for that. He didn't want to look at Darry's truck. He didn't want to see what he caused. Not the aftermath of his mistake. Steve noticed Soda's behavior as he hooked the truck up to the DX tow truck. He didn't try to get Soda to step out and help though. Steve was able to manage by himself, and begin heading to the DX. With the time they had, and figuring there wouldn't really ever be the right time to do this, Steve thought of taking the opportunity to try to get some information out of Sodapop.

"Hey Soda," Steve cleared his throat, "You know, you never finished telling me about the accident."

"What?" Soda shook out of his stare and looked up at Steve.

"The accident?" Steve kept his eyes fixed on the road in front of him, "What happened?"

Soda looked down at his feet, "It was all my fault."

"Why? How?"

Soda shook his head, "Darry let me drive home and I crashed." He didn't understand why Steve needed to pry so much over this. He didn't want to talk about it, he didn't want to relive it.

"Did you hit something? Another car?" Steve was trying not to get frustrated with Soda's lack of information. He was just trying to picture what exactly happened, but Soda wasn't helping.

"No. It just crashed," Soda simply said. Steve decided to end it there. He hoped eventually he could get the whole story out of him. Even if he couldn't, hopefully he could get it out of Darry when he woke up, or maybe the police would release the report to him if Sodapop asked for it.

"I'm not trying to pry," Steve put in, "You can tell me when you're ready, but I'm just trying to understand what happened for when I work on the truck." It wasn't a complete lie. Steve didn't necessarily need the information to fix the truck, but it could help clear up some confusion Steve felt like he was running into. He just wanted to help his best friend through all of this the best he could.

At the DX, Soda helped direct Steve as he reversed the truck into the garage. Steve got the tow truck back in it's spot, and they returned to Steve's car.

"Well, I can look at it some tomorrow," Steve started his car, "Let's go home."

"Already?" Soda asked suddenly.

"Yes. In fact, we're going to go out."

"But what if..."

"Sodapop, we can't just sit at the hospital all the time. It's not good for you, alright?" Steve began driving, "I bet Pony needs rest anyway from his surgery. We'll see them tomorrow, okay?"

Soda sighed, "What if something happens?"

"If it makes you feel better, we can call in a little while and check in, okay?" Steve asked, "But let's go out and enjoy ourselves a little bit first." Steve decided he just needed to put his foot down and take charge.

"Alright." Soda knew Steve was right. Going out would probably do him some good. He just didn't want anything to happen while he was out. Darry and Pony would probably want him going along with life as much as he could though. Or would they? Don't they blame him for the accident? Maybe they were furious with Soda, deep down. Maybe they didn't like him visiting anyway, because they were upset with his recklessness. He had been trying to apologize though, so they couldn't be mad still right?

"Soda?" Steve asked. He was shaking Soda's shoulder as he was lost in his thoughts.

Soda jumped and looked around. They had ended up at a little diner. "W-What?"

"Are you okay?" Steve took the key out of the ignition, "You look pale."

Soda nodded and then looked out the window, "Steve?"

"What?"

"Do...do you think..." Soda paused swallowing the tears, "They're mad at me?"

"Who? Darry and Pony?" Steve asked confused.

"Yeah, I was just thinking maybe they would be glad that I'm going out tonight, but then I started thinking maybe they'd be glad if I stopped going to the hospital altogether."

"Okay," Steve shook his head, "Now you're losing me."

Soda sighed, "They are probably pissed at me for this. I'm the reason they are in the hospital. They probably don't want me there talking to them. If they're mad at me, it's probably taking longer for them to relax and wake up."

"Soda..." Steve slowly put a hand on his shoulder again. He couldn't believe the way his best friend was talking right now. His thinking was so wrong, and Steve didn't need to ask Darry or Ponyboy to know that. Steve knew there was no way Darry and Pony were feeling that way, if they were even awake and aware of what was going on around them.

"Just stop," Soda shook Steve's hand away, "If you would've never shown me how to look 'cool while driving,' this wouldn't have even happened."

Steve's mouth opened, closed, and opened again, "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You shouldn't have shown me that trick, then I wouldn't have crashed the truck!" Soda yelled throwing the car door open and marching out.


	11. Chapter 11

Steve let it go. He shoved his stubborn, pressuring, demanding ego far down. As soon as Soda slammed his door shut, he knew to end the conversation. No more questions. He was confused by Soda's outburst, but he knew it was time to stop. He wasn't sure where Soda's head was at, but it wouldn't surprise him if it was anywhere but reality. Instead of asking any more questions, he followed Soda out of the car. He ended up sitting on the sidewalk. Steve took a seat next to him without saying anything.

"Do you have a cigarette?" Soda asked.

Steve pulled his pack out and handed Soda a cigarette and his lighter. "Look Soda, I don't know what you need to hear right now..."

"Nothing," Soda put his hand up. He didn't want to keep talking about it. There was nothing Steve could say that would change his mind about how he felt.

Steve stopped talking. He didn't want to upset Soda any further. The whole point of the evening was to get Soda away from everything. Steve wanted to distract Soda and hopefully get him to have some fun. With that intention in mind, Steve would do whatever he had to to make that happen. To start, he let Soda smoke in silence. As Soda tossed the cigarette butt, he stood up feeling much more relaxed. Steve got up and put a hand on Soda's back.

"Soda, I'm sorry," Steve said, "That's all I'm going to say. Now let's go have fun, okay?"

Soda pulled Steve in a hug, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say all that. It was stupid. I didn't mean it. I think I just want something to blame this all on, you know?"

Steve returned the embrace, "It's okay, Soda. Don't worry about it."

The boys walked inside and found a booth. "Wow," Soda exclaimed, looking over the menu.

"What?" Steve asked.

"I...am...starving," Soda sighed and sunk into the booth. The lack of eating had finally hit him, and he felt tired and weak from it.

Steve laughed, "It looks better than the hospital food, huh?"

"Damn," Soda sighed, "I might get a few meals."

Steve smiled, realizing how much he had missed this side of Sodapop, "Get all you want, buddy."

After some time passed the table was filled with two Cokes, a chocolate shake, two burgers, some fries, and some chicken tenders. Soda went to town on as much as he could. He was feeling a little better after his outburst, and his stomach began to feel like it was going to eat itself. It did make Steve feel some relief to see Soda relaxed enough to enjoy a meal.

"Slow down a little or you'll get sick," Steve commented sipping his Coke.

"Totally worth it," Soda said through a mouthful, "If I get sick, it's just room to try some more." He began to grin and they both started laughing. Neither of them were sure what they were laughing at, but it did make them feel good.

The rest of the night they drove around town. They stopped at a couple of hangouts to see what was going on with other greasers. Soda was thankful they could have small talk with others without bringing up the accident. There was no doubt the news was around town, but everyone seemed respectful enough to not ask. Of course, they could be bringing it up to Steve privately, but that was fine with Soda as long as he didn't need to hear or talk about it. He had more fun than he expected to. He felt some of his happy-go-lucky self come out. And he noticed Steve having a good time too. Soda couldn't help, but think Steve probably needed this just as much as he did. He was doing so much and started being there for Soda at the drop of a hat. The least Soda could do is let him have a night out of fun. Sometimes that helped more than sleep.

Entering the Curtis house, Soda was shocked to see how late it had gotten. "Steve, we never called the hospital," Soda mentioned, reality hitting him again.

Steve nodded closing the front door, "Sorry buddy, I kind of lost track. I'm sure everything's fine though."

"Yeah..." Soda trailed off as he sat on the couch. He knew he was too tired to worry or make Steve try to track down Two-Bit or Dally with any news they may have had. Soda didn't even know how long they stayed after Steve dragged him out of there.

"Let's go to bed," Steve pointed up the stairs. They made their way up to the bedroom and climbed into the bed.

"Steve?" Soda asked pulling the covers over him.

"Yeah?"

"I'm..." Soda looked out the window, "I'm scared I'll have another nightmare." He began picturing this same scenario with himself and Ponyboy. Pony would also look out the window, admitting his fears of sleeping alone and having nightmares. Soda would stand next to the bed listening, and eventually bringing Darry in on the conversation. It wasn't long after that Soda moved into the bedroom with his little brother. 'Deja vu,' Soda thought to himself, 'If this is how scared Pony felt over sleeping or going through a nightmare again, I'm glad I moved in here quick.'

"It'll be okay, buddy," Steve sat on the bed, "We had a fun night, you have a full stomach. I'm sure you'll knock right out."

Soda looked at Steve, "I don't want to take chances." Steve sighed knowing what was coming. "Can I take one?"

Steve looked over at his best friend. He hated seeing him suffer. Reaching over, he pulled out a pill and handed it to Soda.

"Aren't you going to have one?" Soda asked, noticing Steve put the bottle away.

Steve shook his head, "I'll need to save them."

"I'm sorry..." Soda felt bad. Whatever Steve needed them for, it wasn't fair for him to keep asking to use one. He'd have to try and sleep without the help as soon as he could, even though being knocked out cold for hours was a nice escape.

Steve put a hand on Soda's shoulder, "Don't sweat it. It's okay. It's not a life or death thing for me." Steve got up from the bed.

"Are you sure it's okay for me to use them?" Soda asked looking at the pill in his hand.

Steve nodded, "Oh yeah, it's just helping you sleep. No big deal."

"Where are you going?" Soda asked laying back onto his pillow.

"I'll come up soon. Go to sleep," Steve flipped the light off and closed the door. He headed downstairs. Turning the TV on, Steve grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat on the couch. He took some sips as he reflected on the night. It was good Soda got to get out. He seemed to have moments of distraction and was able to enjoy himself. Steve was glad to see his best friend like that. If Steve was going to be honest with himself, he needed an action-filled night too. Soda's comments still didn't make sense to Steve. His story wasn't making any sense. Steve knew he couldn't be too bothered by it though. He could only imagine what Soda was going through, especially mentally. Maybe when reality started to hit Soda a little more, or maybe when some good news came along with Darry and Pony, he could get the real story out of him.

Steve knew he had to work tomorrow, and hopefully he could get some time in on the truck. Soda would either have to wait until Steve got off work to go visit the hospital, or maybe Two-Bit could bring him. Steve made a note in his head to make sure to call the hospital in the morning to at least check in. The idea of Ponyboy having a seizure did make him shiver. That wouldn't have been fun for anyone to witness. He kind of wished he had thought to ask the doctor if that was normal after the surgery they had done, or if it was bad news. The doctor did say only time was going to tell now. Is that what he meant?

Running a hand through his hair, Steve had forgotten the doctor had even said that. Now it was replaying in his head. Only time will tell. Only time will tell. Time, time, time. What did that even mean? Was Pony doomed from this point? Was only a miracle going to save him now? Even though the surgery was a success? Steve didn't know how he wanted to tell Soda that detail, especially when he was filling his own mind with a thousand follow-up questions he couldn't answer. Part of him wanted to leave it be and not even tell Soda. Would that be wrong? Did Soda deserve to know, or was Steve doing him a favor keeping it a secret?

Steve jumped from his train of thought as the door opened. Two-Bit Mathews and Johnny Cade walked in. "Hey Steve," Two-Bit greeted, "We figured you guys would be asleep."

Steve shook his head, "Soda's out." Johnny took a seat on the couch while Two-Bit went for a beer. "Where's Dally?"

Johnny shrugged, "He kind of left the hospital without a word." Looking at Johnny's expression, Steve had a feeling that was a lie. 'Something must have gotten to ol' Dally,' Steve thought as he took another sip of beer.

"What did you guys do tonight?" Two-Bit asked, sitting in the armchair.

"Just drove around. Hung out with people. Nothing crazy, but it was fun enough for Soda," Steve answered, "Hey, what are you doing tomorrow anyway?"

"I guess I'll be spending my day in a hospital," Two-Bit smiled.

Steve smiled back, "I have to work a little tomorrow. I'll work on Darry's truck a bit while I'm there."

Two-Bit nodded, "I'll come by and check on Soda. I'll see what he wants to do." He glanced at Johnny for a moment and slowly stood from the armchair. "Hey Steve, come out back with me for a cigarette."

"Sure," Steve caught the signal and walked through the kitchen to the backyard with Two-Bit. Steve stood on the backyard porch and leaned against the railing facing the house, while Two-Bit sat on the steps facing the backyard. They both lit a cigarette and took a few puffs. It was silent. The air had a slight coolness to it, and it felt good to Steve. Obviously something was going on, or Two-Bit wouldn't be so quiet right now. Steve almost assumed he wanted to come outside, because Johnny was on edge about Ponyboy. It made sense to make Johnny uncomfortable about them talking about the hospital, but Two-Bit's odd silence was alerting Steve there was something more. "Okay," Steve tossed his cigarette butt and pulled out another one, figuring he'd need it in a minute. He turned from the railing and looked down at Two-Bit, "What's up?"

He watched as Two-Bit rubbed his temple. He clearly didn't know how to tell Steve something. "Steve," Two-Bit sighed, "After you and Soda left, we hung out for a little bit just to see if the doctor was going to say anything." Two-Bit paused. He stood up and turned towards Steve. He took a quick inhale of his cigarette. As he exhaled, he turned back away from Steve's gaze. "There's a reason Dally left the way he did. Something...something else happened."


	12. Chapter 12

Steve closed his eyes in frustration, "What?"

Two-Bit turned back towards Steve and put his hands up in confusion, "I don't know the exact terms, but I guess after Pony's surgery they were hoping he'd wake up, obviously. His body would wake up or something to start really healing and stuff. After his surgery, they gave him only a minor medication to rest, but not really keep him asleep. So they hoped he would then wake up at some point."

"Okay," Steve said crossing his arms, waiting for the rest of the story.

"Well, apparently his body trying to wake up and handle everything caused the seizure. The problem was he didn't stop. They would stabilize, or whatever word, a seizure with a little more medicine, but then they'd start up again. They couldn't get him to just wake up. So they had to resort to a coma again."

Steve turned back to the railing and looked up at the dark sky, "Fuck."

Two-Bit walked to the railing and stood next to Steve, "I don't know how bad that all is..."

"Of course it's bad," Steve kicked the railing posts, "You heard the doctor about only time will tell at this point. God damnit!" Steve dropped his half-smoked cigarette and stomped on it angrily. "God...fuck! How...!" Steve walked out into the grass and paced in anger. "How am I suppose to tell Soda, huh? I couldn't figure out how to tell him what the doctor said, and now I got to tell him this shit!"

"Steve, just calm down," Two-Bit walked into the yard, but kept his distance. He knew better than to interfere with a pissed off Steve Randle. Blowing steam off to Steve was hitting something, or even someone. No preference really, he would just swing and see where his fist landed.

"No Two-Bit! This isn't fair! This isn't fair to Soda! He didn't do anything to deserve this. Ponyboy doesn't deserve it, Darry doesn't deserve it, why the hell is this happening!"

Two-Bit looked down at the grass, "I don't know, man. Maybe it's not as bad as we think. Maybe we'll go there tomorrow and Ponyboy will be doing better. We just...we just don't know, man."

Steve stopped walking around and felt himself slide down into a sitting position in the grass. "There is the problem, Two-Bit. We just don't know. We don't know anything, no one knows anything." Steve was beginning to feel a heavy weight on himself. Two-Bit took this opportunity to walk over and sit next to him.

"Look, no one is alone in this. If you want, I'll talk to Soda about it in the morning, okay? You worry about work and the truck and..."

Steve put a hand up, "No. It's really my responsibility. I'll tell him what happened tonight." Steve took a deep sigh. "He's never going to leave the hospital at this point. I told him tonight he needed to get out and have fun, that everything would be fine. He wasn't doing any good sitting at the hospital all the time anyway. Now look. After I tell him something did happen, he won't leave the damn place."

"Maybe," Two-Bit shrugged, "But we'll all help him. We're all here for him, right?" Steve nodded. "Let's just go get some rest for now, okay?"

"Go ahead. I need to be alone," Steve began picking at the grass. Two-Bit got up and left him alone. Both him and Johnny got themselves set up in the living room for the night.

Two-Bit felt himself wake up at some point during the night. He ended up taking the floor, so he wasn't very comfortable. He didn't care though, no high expectations in a greaser's life. You take what you can get. Getting up, Two-Bit cracked his neck and back. He strolled into the kitchen and got a glass of water. Peering at the clock, it read four in the morning. Two-Bit peeked out the backdoor and almost jumped. There was a figure sitting on the porch. "What the hell," Two-Bit mumbled, opening the door, "Steve?"

"Yeah," Steve replied, not turning around.

Two-Bit closed the door behind him and walked over. "What the hell are you doing out here? Couldn't you sleep?"

Steve slightly chuckled, "I guess you could say that if I bothered trying."

Two-Bit thought for a moment, still getting out of his grogginess, "Wait a sec, have you been out here since we were out here together?"

Steve nodded leaning his head against the porch rails.

"Steve, what the hell man? What are you thinking? It's cold out here."

Steve shrugged, "Doesn't bother me. It keeps me awake."

Two-Bit grabbed Steve and forced him up. He half-dragged him into the house, "Get in here you moron." Steve sat at the kitchen table with Two-Bit joining him. "Seriously Steve, what are you doing? There's no way you can be there for Soda doing that shit."

"I just needed to be away from all of this. Sitting out there was calming, I guess," Steve began picking at his fingernails.

"Come on, man. You have work tomorrow. Let's go to bed."

Steve shook his head, "I'm just going to chill."

"Steve..."

"Butt out, Two-Bit!" Steve barked, "Go to bed and quit worrying about me."

Two-Bit shook his head and returned to the living room. He wasn't about to get in a yelling match this late at night. Steve was a stubborn guy, anyone knew that, but it still frustrated Two-Bit when he was too stubborn for his own good. "You ain't invincible," Two-Bit muttered to himself, pulling the blanket over himself.

The next morning, Steve got ready for work. Two-Bit and Johnny made some breakfast while waiting for Soda to get downstairs. Two-Bit didn't bother asking Steve if he ever went to bed. He just focused on what he would try to do with Sodapop for the day. "Do you want to go to the hospital today?" Two-Bit asked Johnny as they sat in the living room.

Johnny shrugged, "I don't know."

"We don't have to," Two-Bit added in, "We can wait and do whatever we need to do for the time being."

"If Soda wants to go..."

"No," Two-Bit interrupted, "If Soda wants to go, you don't have to. I'll take him and you can chill here if you want, okay?"

Johnny nodded. Thankfully, Johnny never saw Ponyboy have one of the seizures. He didn't know if he could bear watching it happen.

"Okay guys, I'm heading out," Steve said putting his shoes on.

"Alright, what's your plan?" Two-Bit asked.

"Well, I think I'll call the doctor once I get there and see what's up. I'll plan on coming back here when I get off, and if you aren't here, I'll head for the hospital."

Two-Bit nodded, "Good deal. Do you want me to talk to Soda?"

Steve sighed, throwing his head back and looking up at the ceiling, "Damn, I forgot he doesn't know anything yet." Steve peered out the window. The sun was so bright, especially with lack of sleep, "If he wants to go to the hospital, then sure you can tell him before you go. Maybe you can convince him to just wait for me though."

Steve made his way to the DX. He was exhausted. He got no sleep last night. It was hard to comprehend what was happening. The surgery that was suppose to help Ponyboy seemed to be backfiring. Or at least his body wasn't ready to wake up. Steve was scared to find out what was next to happen then. Is this what the doctor meant by only time was going to tell? Only time will tell if he ever wakes up? Will they leave him in a coma for years, just waiting? They don't just pull the plug on someone so young, do they?

Steve pulled up and parked his car. He made his way inside the DX garage and dialed on the wall phone. Steve got through a couple of receptionists and finally a nurse picked up.

"Hi, my name is Steve Randle, calling for Ponyboy Curtis. I just wanted an update on his condition, I heard from a friend who was visiting him yesterday that he was having seizures or something?" Steve explained, "I've been taking care of his brother at home, so I just wanted to hear what exactly was going on?"

"Yes, so we had performed surgery on Ponyboy to stop the internal bleeding. We were successful with that, and the doctor wanted to hold back on any more heavy medication, because we've been using a lot on him since he had been admitted. The goal from that was so Ponyboy could wake up for the first time since being admitted as well. The surgery did put a lot of stress on his body though, and it appears his body started having seizures, probably from his body trying to wake up. We had no choice, but to induce him with medication to put him back into a coma again," the nurse explained, "The doctor is going to decide later if he wants to try taking him off medication again to let him try waking up. That may depend on his vitals throughout the next few hours."

Steve nodded as the nurse talked, silently hoping Two-Bit had misheard something from yesterday, but the nurse repeated his story word for word. "Um, okay, thank you. What would you say we should do about visiting?"

"The doctor technically hasn't changed visiting rules for Ponyboy, but we do need him to try relaxing and letting his body heal as much as possible."

"Okay, I understand. Thanks again."

"You're very welcome. Don't lose hope. I've been a nurse for 20 years, and I will tell you, from many things I have seen, there is no such thing as the end or nothing else can be done. Anything can happen."

Steve nodded, "Thanks." He hung up the receiver and walked out of the garage. He walked out to the curb, away from the gas pumps, and smoked a cigarette. He took everything in. "Anything can happen huh?" Steve asked out loud, looking up at the sky. After smoking, he walked back into the garage and picked up the phone again.

"Hello?" Two-Bit answered.

"Hey Two-Bit, it's Steve. Listen, I talked to the nurse, and it doesn't seem anything has changed. She told me everything you did. She kind of added in that Pony really needs rest for his body to heal, so I think she was trying to hint on little or no visiting."

"Yeah, okay."

Steve continued, "The doctor is going to decide later if he wants to try letting Pony wake up again, so maybe I'll call again later to get a final word on that."

"So what should I do?" Two-Bit asked, "Soda's getting up and taking a shower. What should I tell him?"

Steve sighed, "Why don't you just bring him here and we can all talk, okay?"

"Okay, I can do that." The greasers hung up and Steve started to get to work. He worked as hard as he could to get a couple of cars out of the way that were easy fixes. Thankfully he had to work the next few days to get caught up and to hopefully get Darry's truck back up and running.

Around lunch, Steve saw Two-Bit's car pull up. It just had him and Sodapop in it.

"Hey guys," Steve greeted climbing in the back of Two-Bit's car, "Where's Johnny?"

"He wanted to just walk around," Two-Bit answered, pulling out of the DX parking lot, "Probably try to find Dallas."

"Yeah, I wonder where he went off to last night," Steve commented. Two-Bit and Steve made small talk until they got to a little diner. They found a booth towards the back, where they could get at least a little privacy.

They were silent to begin with. Two-Bit was waiting for Steve to say something. Steve was waiting for Two-Bit to say something. Soda was waiting for either one to say something. After the waitress brought their drinks, Soda broke the silence, "Okay, either you are both absolutely too exhausted to be giving each other shit like you usually do. Or you're dreading to tell me something. So, which is it?" Before Steve could begin, Soda added in, "I should be use to the worst news by now, right?"

"Soda, you know what you saw Pony do yesterday?" Steve asked. Soda nodded slowly. He didn't want to remember that visual, but he should've figured it would come back up for some reason or another. Why couldn't Ponyboy just be okay? "Apparently the doctor was hoping Pony could wake up, so they took him off the medicine or whatever it was that put him to sleep. But, they think whenever his body was trying to wake up, a seizure would happen..."

Soda looked up in fear, "So...was he...he had..."

Two-Bit nodded, "Yes, Soda. He did have more than one. They were able to stabilize him after each one though, so that's good."

"Anyway," Steve continued, "his body just seems under a lot of stress, so they put him back in...in a..." Steve took a deep breath and spit it out, "He's back in a coma."


	13. Chapter 13

Soda shoved his way out of the booth and rushed into the bathroom. Steve and Two-Bit stayed in their seats. They weren't shocked by Soda's reaction. If Steve wasn't so tired, maybe he would've put more thought into where to tell Soda the news. He wasn't exactly functioning his highest today though. After a few minutes of waiting, Steve went into the bathroom. He heard a mixture of cries and upchucks in a stall. The bright lights in the bathroom made Steve grab his head as he felt an instant headache coming on.

"Soda?" Steve knocked on the stall after rubbing the brightness from his vision, "Are you okay?"

"Steve," Soda slightly cried, "I-I can't do this. I'm giving up. I can't do anymore."

"Open up, buddy." After a minute, the stall latched was moved and Steve went in. He re-locked the stall and sat on the floor next to his best friend. "Soda, they are doing everything they can. You do know that, right? They aren't giving up on him. They are getting over this bump that has come up, that's all."

"Nothing has changed Steve," Soda wiped the tears, "He is exactly the same as the night of the accident. He's had a surgery, but he is still just laying in a hospital bed. He's not awake, nothing. He's only gotten worse."

"Soda, listen to me. I talked to the nurse today and she told me she has seen everything happen, plenty of miracles. We can't just lose hope. Anything can happen. He just needs time, we need to give him time to heal the best he can. Maybe the seizures were just a sign his body wasn't ready yet. We want him to be healed and stronger than ever, so we need to give him time," Steve assured his best friend, whether he believed that was true or not himself.

"Oh Steve, I just...I can't, how can I...?" Soda sobbed.

"You're not, okay? You have us, you have me. You are not alone in this. I will carry your worries and your anger. You lay it out on me whenever you need to, okay? I am here for that." Steve was desperate to pull Soda out of this down spiral he was going through. He couldn't let Soda truly give up. He had to help him back up and keep fighting. Steve couldn't help but feel like he wanted to get out of this mess too. He wasn't feeling too great and he could feel himself physically and mentally draining. He couldn't become the damsel in distress though. He had to put his own mess aside and stay strong for Soda. Steve figured he could take care of himself later.

Soda looked up at his best friend with tear-filled eyes. He leaned against Steve's shoulder, "Thank you Steve, for everything."

"You'll get through this. I promise." After a minute, they both got up and left the stall. Soda began washing his face in the sink. Steve joined him, thinking that could help him out a little too.

"What are you doing?" Soda asked, slightly chuckling.

"What?" Steve asked turning the sink off.

"Washing your face?" Soda grabbed a paper towel to pat his face with.

"Sounded refreshing," Steve grinned.

The boys returned to the booth and began eating. Steve and Two-Bit made unrelated small talk while Soda filled his stomach as much as he could.

"Now Soda," Steve wiped his mouth with a napkin, "I don't think we should visit today, at least not with Ponyboy. The nurse said his body needs a lot of rest. If he can hear anything, maybe we shouldn't stress him out. We should just let him rest as much as possible."

Soda nodded with an annoyance glance, "I don't like it, but I understand."

"We can go see Darry if you'd like?" Two-Bit asked, "We don't really know what's going on with him. Obviously nothing crazy, or they would've said something. He's still taking advantage of a nap."

Steve and Soda both smirked at Two-Bit's comment. "I swear," Steve began, "If he is able to wake up and he is just taking the hospital as his slumber place, I'm going to fight him." Two-Bit laughed while Soda let out a small chuckle.

"I'm telling you," Two-Bit took a sip of his Coke, "He works so damn hard all the time. He isn't feeling bad at all that we're freaking out over him. He just found the perfect way to get out of this life temporarily. He's taking advantage of it, and of us for babysitting." The three boys shared a laugh, and it felt good to do that. They knew if they needed their own break from reality, Two-Bit was the one to go to.

"When do you get off?" Soda asked, looking up at Steve.

"I have a few more hours. Do you want to go after I get off?"

Soda was silent for a moment. He looked down at his food, then over at the other booths, and finally outside the window. "I...I don't know..." he trailed off, seeming ashamed.

"Soda, it's okay if you're scared," Two-Bit said.

"We don't have to. I can call them after work and see what's going on, okay?" Steve asked.

"You don't have to decide right now," Two-Bit put in.

Soda nodded, "Okay."

After lunch, Two-Bit dropped Steve back off at work and brought Soda back home. Steve got back into work mode as much as he could. It wasn't easy though. He was worried more than ever about Soda. He was getting to his wit's end over this whole mess. What else could Steve do? He felt like a record player sometimes telling Soda he'd be there over and over. It probably helped, but Steve felt like he should be doing more than just that. He wished he could do the one thing that would make this all better for Soda, wake his brothers up.

Steve decided to call the doctor before leaving for home. He had gotten pretty busy at work and was unable to start on Darry's truck like he had hoped. If no one brought a car in tomorrow to be looked at, he should be able to start on Darry's. Steve rubbed at his tired eyes as he listened to the dial tone. Deep down, Steve hoped Soda wouldn't want to go to the hospital. Steve felt selfish about it, but he wasn't in the right mindset for it right now, especially with all that was going on there. He wasn't sure what he would do with Soda tonight if they stayed in. Maybe he could get him out to the drive in. It was a Friday night. Although, Steve knew he'd have to wake himself up first.

"Hello," Steve greeted the nurse on the other end, "This is Steve Randle again for Ponyboy Curtis. Has there been any change today?"

"He's been sleeping," the nurse said, "His vitals have been okay. The doctor is going to let him get a good sleep tonight and then try reducing the medication little by little tomorrow. He's hoping that will slowly wake him up."

"Okay, thank you. And, I was just wondering, how is Darry Curtis doing?"

"Nothing major has changed today. Depending on Ponyboy's reaction tomorrow, the doctor may try and cut off Darry's pain medication and see how he reacts. He doesn't want to try both at the same time though."

"So, I mean that's good news right? Trying to get them up, that's a good sign right?" Steve asked, hoping for something, anything he could tell Soda.

"It's a step. The way their bodies react will be a big determination," the nurse answered. Steve thanked the nurse again and hung up. He kept his grip on the phone for a while as he realized tomorrow could be a big make or break day. What was going to happen?

Steve arrived at the Curtis house. Everyone was there clearly waiting to decide what to do. Steve wished it was a regular day where he could show up at the Curtis house and just be one of the bum friends that lied around on the furniture being carefree. 'Damn is this what Darry's life is like?' Steve thought to himself. He shook his head, not wanting to think about it right now.

"What's up guys?" Steve asked taking off his DX shirt.

"Nothing, waiting on you," Dally responded.

"Yeah, yeah, I figured." Steve made his way to the upstairs bathroom and began washing off his face and hands. Two-Bit and Dally had followed him upstairs and leaned against the bathroom doorway.

"Did you call the doctor?" Dally asked.

Steve turned off the faucet and grabbed a towel to dry his face. "Yeah. Tomorrow they are going to try and slowly take Ponyboy off the medication to wake him up. So, we'll see how that goes. And depending on Pony, they might try some things to get Darry to wake up. Maybe lower his pain medicine and stuff. So, a lot could happen tomorrow. I just don't know."

"Are you going to talk to Soda?" Two-Bit asked.

Steve stared at his reflection in the mirror. He knew Two-Bit was talking about the doctor's comments on time telling the outcome of Ponyboy. It had slipped Steve's mind that Soda still didn't know how bad things could be, or how unsure the coming days were. The more he thought about it, the more he didn't want to talk to Soda. He didn't want to put Soda through more worry and fear when there may be nothing to worry about. Two-Bit and Dally didn't hear Soda in the stall earlier. They didn't see Soda about to jump off a ledge and just be done. It kept running through Steve's mind that Soda wanted to give up. So much had been thrown at him in such little time that he was ready to throw in the towel. "I don't know."

"Steve," Dally began.

"What?" Steve snapped, "What do you guys want from me here? I'm trying my hardest to keep Soda from losing his shit here. Maybe it's best not to tell him all of this!"

"But he deserves to know," Two-Bit argued back, "If you just don't want to deal with it Steve, then let me tell him. Hell we can all talk to him about it and be there for him."

"There may be nothing to talk about!" Steve tossed the towel in anger, "We could work him up tonight and then they wake up tomorrow and he went through that bullshit for fucking nothing!"

"Or something else could happen and he finds out later on that you were hiding something from him," Dally put in, "You're his best friend, Steve. He is trusting you right now, not only to be there for him, but to be honest with him. Hell, I bet Johnny knows more than Soda does, because I'm not keeping anything from him."

"Johnny isn't Soda!"

Dally stepped up to where he was inches from Steve's face, "Johnny is as much of a brother to Pony as you are to Soda. He is hurting just as bad as you would if it were Soda in a goddamn coma. I have been watching Johnny through this whole thing as you have Soda. Don't you fucking tell me it isn't the same just because they ain't blood, man. You are a greaser like the rest of us and you ought to know better!"

Steve marched past the two and walked into Soda and Pony's bedroom. He could feel the headache creeping into the front of his head. Small black spots began filling his vision.

"At least I've been honest with him!" Dally called down the hall.

Steve took a seat on the bed and placed his face in his hands. He began rubbing hard to get his head back to reality. He heard the two greasers follow him and wait at the bedroom doorway.

"Guys," Steve said keeping his face buried, "I have no fucking clue what to do. I feel like I'm doing so much, but I'm also not doing enough, and I am trying to figure out a lot." Steve collapsed back and laid his whole body on the bed.

Two-Bit walked in the room and sat at the edge of the bed. "Look Steve, we're all here to help. Dally just said we're all greasers, we're all brothers. Just let us help, okay?"

After a minute of silence, Steve sat back up and looked between his friends. They were right. "Okay," Steve nodded.

"I'll talk to Soda, okay?" Two-Bit stood up, "I'll tell him what's going on and what the plan is tomorrow. I think it's best we all just stay in tonight though. There's no point in going to the hospital if they don't plan to try anything until tomorrow, right?" Steve and Dally nodded in agreement. "Do you want to come with me?" Two-Bit looked at Steve.

Steve nodded, "Sure. Let's go."

The greasers headed back downstairs. "Is everything okay?" Soda asked, "You all were yelling at each other."

"Yeah, we're okay, Soda," Two-Bit patted Soda's back, "Come outside with me. Let's shoot some hoops." Steve and Soda followed Two-Bit outside to the back where the basketball hoop was.

"_Is _everything okay?" Johnny asked Dally.

Dally took a seat on the couch, "Yeah. Everything will be fine. Steve just doesn't know when to ask for help."

Outside, while playing basketball, Two-Bit began telling Soda information about Ponyboy's state of health. Two-Bit continued talking regardless of Soda's reactions. He knew it was best to just keep talking and don't question anything he should or shouldn't bring up. Steve kept an eye on his best friend, as his face went from eye contact, to the grass, to dribbling the ball. His face would be fear, horror, sad, and finally just settled. It went better than Steve had expected. Maybe Soda was almost expecting this kind of news after witnessing Ponyboy seizure. Steve knew that wasn't good either though. He didn't want his best friend to just settle for the worst news or outcome.

"But hey, they may be trying to get Darry up and conscious tomorrow," Two-Bit said with a hopeful tone.

Soda nodded, shooting for a basket, but missed, "Yeah. I...Steve?"

Steve kept his gaze on his best friend, "Yeah buddy?"

"I just...I feel like I should be there tomorrow for it all, but I don't know if I...if I..." Soda shoved his hands in his pockets.

"If you can handle it?" Two-Bit finished. Soda nodded, almost ashamed of himself.

"I watched my little brother begin to shake. I heard, hell I can still hear the machines going crazy in there. I...I don't know if I can watch anything like that again. I don't know if I can take much more...I just..." Soda swallowed.

Steve walked over and pulled Soda into a hug, "It's okay buddy, it's okay. You don't have to. I can always go by myself and check in, see what's going on. We don't have to go during the beginning. I'm sure that part could be pretty rough. There's a lot of different ways we can handle this."

Soda nodded, "That's what I'm afraid of is how everything could go down. But I feel shitty not being there by their side during it."

"Soda, it's okay," Two-Bit added in, "We will do whatever you need us to do, okay?"

Soda picked up the basketball and gripped it hard, obviously debating in his own head, "I want to sleep on it for now. I'll see how I feel in the morning."

"Okay," Steve nodded.

The boys spent the night playing rounds of card games. Soda was grateful for it. He did feel distracted. He was still trying to comprehend everything Two-Bit and Steve had talked to him about. Soda didn't like it, but all the fear and tears were starting to numb him. It was as if Two-Bit and Steve's news hadn't gotten to him as bad as he would've expected. It was like he wasn't shocked about it at all. That's why he was scared to go to the hospital during everything. How would he feel if anything else bad happened? Was he just waiting to explode? Or had he already come to terms with how he expected this to end?


	14. Chapter 14

As the hour began getting late, Soda and Steve stepped outside for a cigarette. They were both silent to begin with. Soda felt the need to say a lot, but he wasn't sure what to say. His mind felt all over the place and he couldn't straighten it out. Steve's mind felt too tired to think of any conversation to start. He was just relieved the day was coming to an end. He was hoping for a peaceful night.

"Steve," Soda finally spoke up, "I know it's late, but can we go for a walk? I need some fresh air. I need to try and get more tired."

Steve threw his cigarette on the ground and stomped on it, "Sure." The two began walking down the street to circle the block. Running a hand through his oily hair, Steve asked, "What's on your mind?"

"A lot. I'm not sure what to start talking about," Soda admitted.

Steve shrugged, "Just start talking. Let's see where it goes." Steve could tell he was having less and less emotions as he talked, and he felt bad for it. He was just trying to focus on keeping his eyes open during the walk. He hoped Soda couldn't tell though.

"I don't know if I'm feeling...the right feelings," Soda tried to explain, "The right feelings with all of this." He continued to take small drags off his cigarette.

"What do you mean?" Steve looked up at the bright moon. It was almost full.

"Two-Bit's news, your news, everything I heard tonight about Ponyboy...it just, I didn't act the same way I did earlier today. Maybe...maybe I am giving up on everything without even trying." Soda felt himself sink into a shameful hole. He didn't know how else to explain how he was feeling. Was his mind just giving up for him? Was his brain just not allowing him to react to this situation anymore? How could he give up on his brothers so easily?

"Soda, don't talk like that," Steve began taking out another cigarette.

"Well, how do you explain it?"

"I explain it that you're exhausted...as am I," Steve muttered the last part as he lit his cigarette and took a couple puffs, "I explain it that you're dealing with a lot and you're all cried out right now."

"But I just felt...that's just it, I didn't feel that much. I wasn't surprised at Two-Bit's news. I should just expect this to not go the right way for me. It's my fault I fucked up, so of course my punishment is I lose my brothers."

Steve swung himself in front of Soda and grabbed him by the shoulders, "Soda, shut up! Shut the fuck up! Stop talking like this, stop blaming yourself, just shut up! None of this is your fault! Nothing is going to happen to your brothers, do you understand me?" Steve could see the slight fear in Soda's eyes. He hadn't realized he had been shaking Soda so hard or raising his voice so loud as he talked. Letting go of Soda, he held his hands in the air. "I'm sorry, Soda."

Soda looked down at the sidewalk. He began feeling guilty. He couldn't blame Steve for getting frustrated with him. 'I've got to be a handful by now,' Soda thought to himself. He shut his eyes tight, refusing the tears to escape.

Steve tossed his half-smoked cigarette in the street and pulled Soda in his arms, "Soda, I'm sorry, okay? But come on, man. You know that ain't true. You know that's not what's happening at all."

Soda wrapped his arms around Steve and let his face bury into his shoulder, "Steve, I'm scared."

"I know, buddy."

"It's just easier to blame myself, I guess."

"But Soda, there isn't anyone to blame," Steve said as he backed up to look Soda in the eye, "I know you want to point at someone or something or yourself, but there just isn't anything to blame. It was a freak accident. That's it. That's your answer."

Steve let go of Soda. He nodded and looked at the street, "Okay."

"And don't you dare say you're going to lose your brothers. They are tough. They will get through this. Got it?"

"Then why is it taking so long for them to just wake up?" Soda threw his arms in the air.

"Because...because that's just how life is working right now. Those are the cards they were dealt. That's the best answer I got for that too," Steve replied in defeat. Soda groaned as he took a step off the sidewalk and began pacing in the street. "Soda, you know if I had any answers, I'd give them to you."

"I know, I know," Soda took in a deep breath and slowly let it out.

"It's just...that's what is going on right now. Honestly Soda, I am tired right now, and I can't think so straight. I don't even think I'm talking straight either," Steve shook his head, "We both need some sleep, alright?"

Soda brought himself back to the sidewalk and put an arm around Steve, "I'm sorry Steve."

"Don't say sorry," Steve said as they continued their walk. They circled the rest of the neighborhood in silence.

As they got to the driveway, Soda grabbed Steve's shoulder, "Steve, I really am sorry. I know I'm being a lot to deal with, but I am so, very happy you are here. You being here is doing a lot more than you know."

Steve smiled, "I told you, Soda. I will be here for you. You can put whatever you need to on me."

Soda hugged his best friend, "Thank you, Steve."

Soda took another one of Steve's pills to help him go to sleep. Dally was relaxing in the armchair with his feet propped on the coffee table. Johnny was asleep on the couch. Two-Bit went ahead and took Darry's bed for the night, joking that Darry didn't need it at the moment. The whole gang was more than ready to get into a deep sleep.

* * *

In the middle of the night, Dally woke up. He sat up in the armchair and began popping his neck and back. He felt a little stiff from the position, but it wasn't the worst condition he's ever slept in. Armchairs were usually better than a cot in jail. Dally knew even the back of a car was more comfortable than a jail cot. Looking towards the couch, he saw Johnny fast asleep. The poor kid needed some sleep. He was worrying so much. Of course Dally was worrying too. He didn't want anything to happen to Darry or Ponyboy, but he couldn't show it. He had to stay tough for Johnny just like Steve and Two-Bit were staying tough for Sodapop. It's what the gang did for each other.

Deciding on a cigarette, Dally got out of the armchair and quietly walked to the front door. He pulled on his jacket, placed a cigarette in his mouth while turning the porch light on, and quietly walked outside. He lit his cigarette and as he looked up towards the street, he noticed a figure sitting at the end of the driveway. Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he recognized Steve sitting under the streetlight.

He walked down while inhaling his cigarette, ready to drag Steve back inside and make him sleep. Dally may not be the most emotional guy, but he wasn't about to watch Steve crumble and not be as strong for Soda as he could be.

"Hey," Dally said exhaling his cigarette.

Steve looked up at Dally, "Late night smoke?"

"You know it. Is that why you're out here?" Dally asked taking a seat next to Steve.

Steve shrugged, "Maybe at one point it was."

"How long have you been out here?" Dally flicked ashes on the street.

"Um," Steve looked up at the streetlight, "A while. Can't sleep."

"Man you're going to be hurting tomorrow. Two-Bit told me you were outside last night too. What's going on with you?"

"Yeah. I don't know, man. I'm exhausted, but my mind can't stop running. Being outside kind of helps, I guess. I may not be sleeping, but I'm more relaxed out here."

Dally nodded, "Are you going to the hospital tomorrow?"

"I'm not sure. I kind of want to, but I'll see what Soda wants to do. If he wants me to stay home with him, I will. I do have to work for a few hours tomorrow too," Steve rubbed his face with his hands, "I don't know Dally, I don't know."

"Don't worry about it, man," Dally took a long drag to finish off his cigarette.

Steve looked up at Dally, "How can I not?"

"Because you have plenty of help, but you're too damn stubborn to use it," Dally flicked his ashes towards Steve. He tossed his cigarette on the ground and stomped on it. "We'll figure it out tomorrow. If Soda wants to go, we'll get him there. If he wants to stay home, we'll hang out here. You go to work. Done. You see how easy that was?"

Steve chuckled, "Thanks."

"Now go get some sleep, will ya?" Dally stood up. When Steve didn't move, Dally grabbed his arm and forced him up. "Sleep inside."

Steve rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah." Inside, Dally returned to the armchair while Steve went upstairs to be with Soda.

The next morning, the greasers piled into the kitchen making coffee and breakfast. Steve took advantage and got a big cup of coffee. Something was going to have to wake him up for work.

"I hope Darry doesn't mind how much of his food and coffee we use," Two-Bit chuckled.

"We can go to the store and get some stuff," Steve said before taking a big chug of his coffee. He wasn't normally a big coffee drinker, but he wasn't sure what else to use that morning.

"When do you go in?" Soda asked Steve as he placed plates on the table. Two-Bit put a plate of eggs in the middle for everyone to dig into.

"I'm going to eat, shower, and head in," Steve took a seat at the table.

"When are they suppose to start everything?"

As the greasers began taking some eggs and sausages, Steve shrugged, "This morning I guess."

"Do you want to go to the hospital?" Two-Bit asked.

Soda shook his head, "Not right now."

"I can call them later to get an update," Steve offered getting up for a coffee refill.

Soda nodded, "Sure. I'd appreciate that."

"Let's go play football at the park," Dally offered, "We could all use some physical insertion."

"Exertion," Steve commented.

"What?" Dally asked.

Steve replaced the coffee pot on it's holder, "You mean physical exertion."

Dally shook his head, "Oh shut up."

"Don't be correcting our lingo Steve," Two-Bit laughed, "We know what we mean. Football sounds fun though. Sound good Soda? Johnny?" Johnny nodded as he ate his breakfast. Soda agreed that football sounded fun. "It's settled then. We will all go have some fun playing football and blow off some steam. Steve will go work and be jealous of us."

Steve glared at Two-Bit, "Well looks like y'all will owe me a game later then."

"Oh you're on," Two-Bit winked.

After eating, Steve excused himself to take a shower. Purposefully to wake himself up, Steve let the shower run cold. He didn't have to rush in, and he wanted to get ready alone, so he took as long of a shower as he could. The rest of the gang got ready and went out for the park. "Time for that physical insertion!" Two-Bit yelled down the street, making everyone else laugh.

Once he figured everyone was gone, Steve stepped out of the shower. He just needed an empty house for a few minutes. He made his way to Soda's room to get dressed.

"I'll have to go home and get more clothes later," Steve told himself. As he pulled his DX shirt on, he noticed his bottle of pills on Soda's nightstand. "I thought I put them back in my bag." Steve sat on the bed and looked at his bottle. It still felt the same, not that he would know the exact number of pills to be left. "Maybe I'm just forgetting. I am on two nights of no sleep."

At the DX, Steve was able to look at Darry's truck in the garage. He still wanted to know what happened at the accident, but he decided to start working on it anyway. "Soda," Steve began talking to himself as he looked at the driver's side, "if you were the one driving, how are you not the one in the hospital?"


	15. Chapter 15

Steve decided to go straight back to the Curtis house from work. He planned to call the doctor there instead of at work, because he wanted to talk to Soda too. He really didn't like questioning Soda about the accident, but something was keeping him from just letting the questions go. Hopefully being outside and getting some exercise in with football did Soda some good. Steve hoped it had helped him blow off some steam.

Steve entered the house to everyone watching TV. The house smelt of sweaty boys.

"How was work?" Two-Bit asked as Steve closed the door behind him.

"Fine. How was football? Y'all smell like it was fun."

"Wow thanks Darry," Two-Bit smirked, but immediately bit his tongue. Steve was giving him a small glare. "Sorry," Two-Bit looked at Soda.

Soda looked down at the floor from his spot, "It's okay. I know you didn't mean anything bad by it." Soda looked over at Two-Bit and saw how bad he felt. "He is right though Steve. You are being a Darry," Soda added in smiling.

Steve sighed, "You son of a bitch."

"To be fair though," Two-Bit pointed at Steve, "You don't smell any better than us either."

Steve smirked as he walked over and grabbed Soda's shoulder. He knelt down to Soda's level, "Hey, I'm going to call the doctor real quick, but then I want to talk to you. You can go shower while I call them?"

"Sure, okay," Soda stood up and headed up for the shower.

Two-Bit stood up with Soda, "I am sorry, man. Are we good?"

"Yeah," Soda nodded with a small smile, "No sweat. Actually, lots of sweat. I'm going to wash up."

"And you all should consider a shower or a run through the hose," Steve commented.

"Alright, meet you all in the backyard," Two-Bit laughed.

Steve made his way into the kitchen to call the doctor. The greasers tried guessing what was happening as they only heard Steve's end of the conversation. His tone wasn't changing much, which made them unsure how to feel. The phone call seemed to take forever as anxiety grew with wanting to hear what was happening. The three boys looked up as Steve stepped back into the living room.

"Well, they started getting Pony slowly off the medication this morning. It sounds like it was going well for a few hours, but then he had a little seizure. They were able to calm it down and then waited a while before messing with the medicine again. Before they could try to down it more, he had another seizure. So, it sounds like they pushed his medicine back up a bit, but it's still less than what it was at. So that's got to be a good sign, I guess."

"So he still hasn't woke up?" Johnny asked.

Steve shook his head, "No, and he probably won't be if he still is getting the medicine to keep him asleep. It sounds like they'll try again tomorrow if he can at least not have a seizure where he's at now."

"What about Darry?" Dally asked.

"It sounds like Pony kept their hands full, so they didn't try anything with Darry. They might wait until tomorrow. They told me that they try to be sensitive with waking people up from comas. Anything can happen when they wake up, so they just have to be careful," Steve explained.

After Soda came down in fresh clothes, Steve brought him out for a drive. "Did you call the doctor?" Soda asked.

"Yeah. There has been a little improvement it sounds like. They were able to get Ponyboy off the medicine a little bit, but not completely," Steve explained.

"So what next?" Soda asked.

"I think they're going to let him sleep for the night and try more tomorrow," Steve replied, biting his lip. He wasn't wanting to bring up the seizures. He knew he should, but he didn't want to upset him before bringing up what he wanted to talk to him about.

Steve parked his car in the DX parking lot. They both got out of the car and Steve brought Soda into the garage. "Soda, I'm trying to understand something," Steve said walking up to Darry's truck, "I was able to start some stuff on it today, but I wanted to show you something."

"Okay," Soda shoved his hands in his pockets. He was nervous to really be looking at the truck. He didn't want to relive the accident. Every time he walked into the hospital or saw his brothers, he was flashed with memories of the accident. He didn't want to have it hit him at work too. Soda ran a hand through his hair, knowing he also couldn't hide from it forever either.

"You were driving and crashed," Steve said holding his hands out towards the driver side of the truck.

Soda nodded keeping his eyes more on Steve than the truck, "I just did something stupid, that's all."

Steve took a deep breath, "Look at this truck as you would if you were looking through any other customer's truck. Look at it with the story you are giving me. Do you see what I'm seeing?" Steve walked to the other side of the truck and looked at the passenger side. "I imagine Darry was in the passenger seat with you driving, but the passenger side is barely touched. The driver's side is very damaged. So if you were driving, I would imagine you were the one who would be hurt. Hurt more than some bruising and being sore..."

"Darry was in the back," Soda jumped in quickly.

Steve looked at Soda with confusion, "Darry was in the back?"

"Yes, him and Pony were both in the back while I drove."

Steve furrowed his eyebrows still looking at the truck. Soda was making no sense. "Why would Darry sit in the back?"

"He was joking around about me scaring him while I drive, so he just joined Ponyboy in the back," Soda turned to look outside the garage. Steve was more confused than ever now.

"Soda, I'm not sure if that's right," Steve said.

"Steve, I don't want to talk about it, okay? I don't want to look at what I caused!" Soda yelled, "Why are you so obsessed with knowing what happened? Why!" Steve looked over at his best friend in distress. "I don't know what the truck did when we crashed! I don't know what everything hit! If you can fix it, just fix it! You don't need details to fix it!" Steve ran his hand through his hair as Soda yelled at him. "Stop making me relive it, please! Just please!"

Steve sighed knowing he'd have to give the interrogation a break. "I'm sorry Soda." Soda took a few steps to exit the garage.

"I am sorry, Soda. I was just confused, so I wanted to ask, okay? That's all. I'll stop, alright?" Steve asked attempting to calm Soda down. He didn't want to work Soda up too much. He had promised to carry the burden of everything for Soda, and he promised Soda could lay anything he needed to on him. The last thing Steve needed to do was put more burden and frustration on Soda.

"Can we just go now?" Soda angrily asked.

"Yeah, yeah," Steve began walking out of the garage, "I'll just fix the truck. I won't ask you anymore questions, I promise."

"Good," Soda muttered.

The two made their way back into Steve's car. Steve placed his keys in the ignition, but didn't turn it on yet. He groaned quietly, knowing he had to ask the next question, but didn't want to. "Soda, I need to ask you something else."

Soda rubbed a single tear and rolled his eyes, "What?"

"I saw my pill bottle on your side of the bed. I wasn't sure if maybe I forgot to put them away or something, but I have to ask did you take another one last night?"

Soda sighed, "I woke up from a nightmare, but you weren't in the bed. I wasn't sure where you went, so I just took another one to help me go back to sleep."

Steve bit his lip. Now he was going to feel guilty for being outside and not being there for Soda when he needed him most. Regardless, Steve wanted to yell at Soda for just taking another pill. He wanted to hit the steering wheel for thinking he wasn't doing a good enough job taking care of Soda. Blowing up on Soda could possibly drive him further away though, and that was something Steve couldn't risk right now. Instead, he took a deep breath to keep himself calm.

"Soda, listen to me, those aren't meant to be taken on a as-needed basis. They are my pills, and it's one a night. You can't just take as many as you want. Hell, I'm not even taking my pills, as I should be, because you are," Steve said not doing a good job at keeping his tone relaxed.

Soda scuffed, "Obviously you aren't needing them that bad if you are letting me take them. You said it yourself that it was no big deal. Is that some bullshit? Are they some shit you got off the street, huh?"

Steve pointed at Soda, "Lay off, man! I'm letting you use them to help you! I'm trying to help you sleep and not deal with nightmares. And I'm telling you not to take them so lightly."

Soda shook his head, "Don't scold me if you're the one taking some street drugs."

Steve stayed silent. He scuffed, obviously wanting to say more, but went against it. He turned his key and began driving back to Soda's house.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Thanks so much for all your support! Your reviews keep me writing! :)

Steve and Soda stayed silent when they returned home. Dally and Johnny left the house for the night while Two-Bit settled on the couch to watch TV. Soda sat on the front porch, staring up at the sky. He wished on every star he could see for something to change. Just anything. He prayed a hundred different prayers. How much longer could this go on? How much more could he deal with? "What do I have to do?" Soda asked out loud, "What am I suppose to do to fix this? Just...tell me, give me a sign what I have to do."

The front door opened and shut, and Steve took a seat next to Soda.

Looking up at the bright, full moon, Steve asked, "Do you want to know everything the doctor said?"

"Sure," Soda didn't move his gaze from the sky. He knew deep down he probably wouldn't want to hear anything Steve left out, but he didn't want to go to bed just wondering either.

"They had to stop lowering Pony's medicine, because he did have a couple seizures. But it is okay, it still sounded like good news overall," Steve explained.

Soda just nodded, "I'm sorry I snapped at you at the garage."

"It's okay buddy," Steve sighed, "I'm just...I'm just confused by your story. I'm trying to figure out what happened, you know?"

"But I've told you," Soda said in a monotone voice, "Just let it go."

As frustrating as it was, Steve nodded in agreement, "Okay."

Soda suddenly stood up, "I'm ready for bed." Steve followed him inside, but Soda went straight upstairs without saying another word. Steve took that as a hint to lay low for now. Instead, he grabbed a deck of cards and went to play Solitaire at the kitchen table. He could probably use some alone time too. After a few minutes of silence in the house, Two-Bit figured something was going on. Much to his dismay of wanting to get up, he got up from the couch to join Steve.

In the kitchen, Two-Bit grabbed two beers from the fridge and joined Steve at the table. "Okay, okay. You made me get up from the couch so you better talk."

"About what?" Steve asked flipping through the cards.

"How did it go? You guys seemed quiet when you got back," Two-Bit said as he opened his beer

Steve joined in opening his beer and took a sip, "It didn't go that great."

"He didn't take the update well?"

"No, it wasn't that. He actually took that okay, I think," Steve shrugged and shook his head, "I took him to the garage to look at the truck though."

"Oh gees, Steve" Two-Bit shook his head, only imagining how hard that could have been for Soda, "Why? Just why would you do that?"

"I know, I know. But Two-Bit, the story isn't making sense to the truck's damage."

Two-Bit looked up confused, "What do you mean?"

"He told me he was driving the truck home the night this all happened. Then he said he tried a trick I showed him..."

"What trick? Why would you teach Soda some trick to pull on Darry's truck?" Two-Bit interrupted.

"I don't know what trick! I didn't teach him anything!" Steve said defensively, "I have no idea what he is talking about. Anyway, he says he tried a trick that crashed the truck, but Two-Bit if you look at the truck, the driver side door is completely crushed in."

"Okay...?" Two-Bit said, trying to put together what Steve was saying.

"The driver side was clearly hit or something, yet Soda only walked away with some bruising and cuts? I've seen many, many cars and trucks come into our shop. I hear many, many stories. I can tell when a story is legit or when it's bullshit. I've seen it all. And based on Soda's odd story, he should be the one in the hospital bed," Steve explained playing around with the cards.

Two-Bit shook his head, "Are you sure? Maybe Soda was thrown to the other seat or something. Or maybe Soda got really lucky."

"I mean, maybe. Big maybe. But he also said Darry was in the backseat, which makes no sense. It's like he said that to my question just to get off the topic."

"Well, I'm sure it's not easy to talk about," Two-Bit took another sip of beer.

"Yeah, I don't know. Something isn't right," Steve looked out the kitchen towards the stairs, "Something isn't fitting right."

"Can't you see the police report?" Two-Bit asked.

Steve shook his head, eyes still on the stairs, "I think I was on thin ice enough asking about the truck. The police couldn't tell me specifics of the accident though." They were silent, just drinking their beers, before Steve brought up the next argument they had. He didn't want to bring it up, because he knew it would lead to something uncomfortable for him. He knew he needed to talk about it before it got out of hand though.

Steve swallowed a chug of his beer, "There was, uh, something else that I had to bring up."

"What?" Two-Bit asked.

"Well, when I got ready for work this morning, I found...I found my pills next to Soda's side of the bed. I confronted him about it, and I guess he took a second one last night after a nightmare. He couldn't find me, because I was outside again, so he took another pill. So I told him to not do that and he asked if they were some bad shit or something," Steve explained, waiting for Two-Bit to ask.

"Are they from the street, Steve?" Two-Bit asked, "And why have you been sitting outside by yourself the past couple nights?" Before Steve could answer, Two-Bit add in, "I think I'm more concerned about your behavior than Soda's story about the truck. So start talking."

"No, they aren't from the street," Steve shook his head. He was annoyed hearing that term. He was also slightly annoyed everyone was jumping to the conclusion that he would just go get something like that. He stood up and went to the fridge for another beer. "I wasn't sure how to really talk to any of you about this. I don't know, maybe I'm being stupid about it."

"What's going on?" Two-Bit asked concerned.

Steve leaned against the counter, "About four or five months ago, I was having a really hard time functioning. I was struggling so hard every damn day. I just couldn't focus. I wasn't sleeping well. I'd be tossing and turning all night, and then I'd be exhausted all day. I felt like I was being very short with people and had no patience, I'd be anxious to get through the day to try and sleep again, but then the anxiety was even worse at night. I just couldn't figure out what was going on with me. So, I got fed up enough to go to the doctor."

Two-Bit waited for Steve to continue, "And what? What did they say?"

Steve tapped the top of his beer as he went into a daze. "Well..." he began with a hard stare, avoiding eye contact with Two-Bit, "They told me...they told me I-I have a problem. A disorder."

"What? A disorder?"

Steve swallowed, "Insomnia."

"Insomnia?" Two-Bit asked. He knew he had heard of the term, but he couldn't place what it was.

"It's a sleeping disorder," Steve added walking to look out the window, "I just have trouble sleeping, staying asleep. It's not like when anyone else has a hard night sleeping, I can't sleep. It happens every single night and it's given me bad anxiety during the day. So they gave me these pills to help me sleep, among some other techniques."

"What kind of techniques?"

"Well, sometimes I'll try to stay in light as much as possible during the day to train my mind to know when it's time to be awake or asleep," Steve shrugged, "That's one thing."

"What about being in light the past couple of nights? When you have sat outside?"

"Kind of the same thing," Steve said, "I'm not suppose to just sit in bed and toss around. If I'm stuck awake, I should go into some light or something."

"I'm sorry Steve," Two-Bit stood up from his chair, "Why didn't you want to tell us?"

"Because I didn't know how to feel about it myself. It should be so simple right? Just to fucking fall asleep?" Steve ran his hand over his face, "My body can't handle that simple task."

"Steve, it's nothing to be ashamed of," Two-Bit assured, "But you figured giving Soda the pills would help him sleep through all of this?"

"Well yeah, it does help me sleep. Since he doesn't have a problem like me though, I figured it'd really knock him out. I got scared when he said he took another one though. Hell Two-Bit, I felt myself panic. I don't even take more than one a night, so I don't know what that would do. It could be dangerous, especially for someone who doesn't need it," Steve explained.

"Maybe you should stop giving them to him," Two-Bit said, "You aren't helping him by letting him think he can take it so casually, and you're not helping yourself by not sleeping."

Steve nodded, "Trust me, I know. I'm exhausted. Damnit Two-Bit, I am so exhausted. That's what makes this more frustrating for me. I've had zero sleep the past two nights. I want to sleep so bad, but my body can't seem to handle that need."

"Take a pill tonight, Steve. Please, you aren't going to be help for him by doing this to yourself. And you should tell Soda about it too, so he knows it's something important."

"Yeah, I will," Steve said, even though he was unsure how he would talk to Soda about it. He felt mentally tired just telling Two-Bit. He wasn't prepared to start talking about it. He preferred living in secret, but he also knew he'd have to tell the gang someday.

"Have they helped though? Are you sleeping better? Are you feeling better?" Two-Bit asked.

Steve shrugged, "Sometimes it's hit or miss. Some nights are good, and some it's like too much is on my mind or something and it doesn't help as great. Like I said, I've never tried taking a second one. The doctor told me not to, so if I do wake up any night, then I'm just stuck awake the rest of the night."

Two-Bit sat back down at the table. He felt bad Steve had been keeping this secret for a few months. It really didn't seem like a big deal, but Two-Bit understood how frustrating it probably was to learn your body refused to do something so easily. "I don't know how hard it is to fall asleep," Two-Bit commented, "I fall asleep anywhere and everywhere like it's nothing."

"Believe me, I know," Steve sighed, "I still have trouble understanding it. I mean, I knew I've always been a picky sleeper. My whole life I just seemed to be particular in my sleep. When my old man would kick me out, and I'd have to crash on their couch, I didn't really sleep well. But I just figured the couch was uncomfortable. So, I guess I maybe have always had this issue, but now it's really been hitting at me."

"Well," Two-Bit began, "You tell everyone on your own time. I'll be here for you though until you do that."

"Thanks Two-Bit," Steve smiled.

"You know what's ironic though?" Two-Bit asked getting up and throwing his beer away.

"What?"

"Well, we apparently can't get you to sleep while we can't get Darry or Pony to stop sleeping," Two-Bit smirked.

Steve couldn't help, but laugh, "That's kind of dark, man."

"But you laughed!" Two-Bit smiled, "Now go take your pill and get some sleep."

"I will, I will."

Steve went upstairs and found Soda asleep already. As he got himself settled into the bed, he looked over at his best friend. "I'm sorry Soda," Steve said to himself, "I just want to fix everything for you."


	17. Chapter 17

The next morning Steve went into the DX. He didn't want to talk to Soda about the pills yet. Two-Bit was right that he should, but he was on the fence. Did Soda really need to hear about it when he was worrying enough about his brothers? How would Soda react once he found out what the pills were aimed to do in the body? How would Soda feel about his best friend after hearing about it? Steve couldn't think about that right now. If he was going to be able to talk to Soda about it, he'd have to ignore those questions. He was thankful he took a pill last night though, he felt much better as he was able to sleep the whole night. Steve didn't have an actual shift at the DX that morning, but he was hard at work on the truck. He just wanted to get it done.

After a few hours, Steve picked up Two-Bit and Soda and drove to the hospital. They hadn't been there for a couple days, and Steve thought it'd be a good idea for Soda to go there. Even if he was still anxious about visiting, he should go visit. Steve thought maybe it'd make Soda feel better to see anything good progressing.

Soda had been feeling slightly numb since being at the hospital last. He wasn't sure if he minded it or not. He kind of liked not feeling a lot, but he also was worried about why he wasn't feeling. As they entered the hospital, all of Soda's feelings came rushing back. It was as if his mind had blanked out the reason why they had been there, and now here came reality again.

Upstairs, Steve walked up to the nurses at the desk while Two-Bit took a seat with Soda. Steve was feeling slightly nervous at what he would hear. If it was any bad news, he was going to regret bringing Soda.

"Hi, I wanted to check in on Ponyboy and Darry Curtis, please."

"Let's see," the nurse was looking at some paperwork, "They began lowering Ponyboy's medication a little while ago, so we are just waiting on the result of that. It looks like they took Darry off his pain mediation quite a bit. They were liking what they were seeing in his vitals, so they are just going for it and taking him off all but a small amount."

"So what does that mean?" Steve asked, thinking and hoping what he was hearing was good news.

"Let me get the doctor and see for sure." The nurse got up and left the desk. Steve turned to Two-Bit and Soda. As they both waited for a response, Steve pointed towards Darry's room and gave a questionable thumbs up. Both the boys stood up and made their way over to the desk.

"What's going on with Darry? Is he awake?" Soda asked with slight excitement.

"She said they took him off the pain medication, the majority of it. She's getting the doctor to see what they are going to do next," Steve explained.

"That's got to be good," Two-Bit said.

"What about Ponyboy?" Soda asked.

"She said they just tried lowering his medication again. So it's another wait game."

Soda gulped, "I don't know if I can go in there." Soda's mind replayed the seizure he witnessed Pony have. He didn't think he could go through that again.

"Let's just see what's going on with Darry first, okay?" Steve placed a hand on Soda's shoulder. Soda nodded.

The nurse returned to the desk with the doctor. "Hello boys," the doctor greeted.

"Hey," Steve greeted.

"Is Darry okay?" Soda jumped into asking.

"Well, so far so good. His vitals were really good this morning, much improvement," the doctor explained, "As of right now, nothing is keeping him from waking up. He may be really drowsy from all the medicine going on since his admission, so it could still take a few hours to come out of it. You could go in and try talking to him if you'd like?"

"Yes, yes," Soda replied anxiously looking towards Darry's room, "Yes, I definitely will."

The nurse smiled, "Go right ahead."

Two-Bit nudged Steve, "You go ahead with him. I'll wait out here."

Steve followed Soda to Darry's door. "Just relax," Steve began, "Remember the doctor said it could take a few hours still." Soda nodded. "You aren't going to relax, are you?"

Soda grinned, "No."

Steve smiled at his best friend. He liked seeing this reaction instead of the reaction he had in the bathroom stall. It was more optimistic and believing. Steve reached down and turned the doorknob. They both peeked inside the room and saw Darry asleep. They stepped inside and closed the door. Soda let out a deep breath. He could feel tears in his eyes as he placed his hand over his mouth. Steve put his arm around Soda's shoulders, "What's wrong buddy?"

"Nothing," Soda whimpered, "Steve he just looks so peaceful. He just looks like he's resting. He use to look...I hate to say it, but he looked lifeless. I had little hope of anything. But now, he actually looks like he'll be okay." Soda noted they even removed a couple of IV's out of him and the oxygen was removed. He had color to his face. Soda felt comforted by the idea that Darry must have made a lot of improvement.

"It looks like he just really started getting better," Steve walked around the bed, looking up and down at Darry, "Try talking to him. If he couldn't hear anything before, I bet he can now."

Soda pulled the chair up to the side of the bed and sat down. He could feel his nerves jumping. For a while he had began to feel hopeless that nothing would change. His brothers would never get better, and he'd have to visit them in a coma for the rest of their lives. He never dared think of the worse alternative to that. The excitement and disbelief that Darry could wake up was something Soda couldn't comprehend.

"H-Hey Darry," Soda said, grabbing Darry's hand. He tried his best to keep his wanting to cry under control. The emotions were going crazy. "The doctor said you were starting to do a lot better. You could even wake up later today or maybe tomorrow. I'd be so grateful if you did. I don't know how I had gotten this far without you." He looked up at his best friend, who had begun walking around the room. "I guess I do know how." Soda had never felt as thankful for having Steve in his life like he did now. He looked back down at Darry and gave his hand a squeeze. "I love you Darry."

The boys stayed in the room for about fifteen minutes. Soda was hoping Darry would open his eyes or maybe move or take a deep breath. Just something to signal that he was beginning to come around. Nothing happened though. He just continued on in his deep slumber. Soda was still happy to see that he just looked like he was doing better.

"I'm going to check on Two-Bit, do you want to stay in here?" Steve asked.

Soda nodded. Steve walked out into the waiting area and sat with Two-Bit.

"Is he still sleeping?" Two-Bit asked.

"Yeah, but he looks a lot better. The only IV he has is for fluids I think. The oxygen is gone. He looks so good," Steve said with relief. His shoulders and upper back began to ache as some weight felt as if it was lifting off.

"That's great. So we may just have to wait a while for everything to really wear off," Two-Bit said.

Steve nodded, "Exactly. Maybe we should get some food, go play some football to pass some time. You guys do owe me a game. Doing something physical sounds nice to me."

Two-Bit laughed, "Yeah, yeah. Well good luck prying him out of the room."

"Honestly I will. With this good news, he's going to have lots and lots of balled up energy to let out."

The two boys got up and walked into Darry's room. "Hey Soda," Steve began, "Let's go kill some time. Let's go eat and play some catch or hoops or something."

Soda sighed, "I had a feeling you'd say something like that."

"I'm not really trying to get you away," Steve walked over and put his hands on Soda's shoulders, "But the doctor said everything needs to wear off and he has to get out of this drowsy state. So let's go make time go faster, and then maybe we'll hear something on Ponyboy's condition, okay?"

Soda groaned and looked up at Steve, "I thought you loved me."

Steve laughed, "I do. That's why I'm not going to let you sit on your ass for hours."

Soda stood up from his chair and saw Two-Bit waiting by the door. Looking at Steve, Soda mocked, "Fine, fine, Darry." Soda winked at Two-Bit after his comment.

Steve shook his head, "I am not going to get some nickname after all of this shit, you know? Once he's home, he gets to deal with you and I go back to getting you in trouble."

Soda laughed, "Deal." He turned back towards Darry and leaned over to kiss his head. "I love you bro. I'll be back later."

"We'll be back Darry," Two-Bit patted Darry's leg.

The three boys left the hospital and got in Steve's car. They started it up and arrived at the Tasty Freeze.

"How are you feeling Soda?" Two-Bit asked after they ordered some food.

"I just...I just don't believe it. I didn't realize how much I was giving up until I knew things could actually be getting better," Soda explained, "If Darry wakes up, it would be...it would almost be perfect."

"Hey this is a sign though," Two-Bit perked up, "We can't lose hope for Ponyboy. We see how the rest, the medicine, the sleep, everything helped Darry and out of nowhere he's looking much better. Pony may need some more of that. We have to keep our hopes up."

"And we will," Steve agreed.

After they ate, Steve and Two-Bit commented to go to the park for football. "How long are you keeping me out?" Soda asked as he got in the car.

"Just a few hours," Steve said, "I told Two-Bit we may have to drain your energy a bit."

"Who? Me?" Soda jokingly whined, "I'm cool as cake."

"Isn't it cool as a cucumber?" Two-Bit asked.

"Why would I say that? I don't even like cucumbers," Soda said.

Two-Bit, Steve, and Soda spent a couple hours throwing the football around. It helped Steve's aching body somewhat. The tension was letting up a little as he felt more and more relaxed. The fact that Darry made such a jump up made Steve not feel as worried about Pony. If Darry was going to be okay, then Ponyboy had to be okay, right?

As the boys returned to the hospital, they headed up to the nurse's desk. Soda couldn't help, but not feel right in the gut. "Steve, can we just sit for a minute?"

"Yeah, sure," Steve sat down in a chair with Soda, "Go ahead Two-Bit. What's wrong?"

"I don't know Steve. For some reason now that something good is happening, I keep wondering if that's just it."

"What do you mean?" Steve was confused.

"Is that all this is? Is it only going to get this good? What if Darry's body is putting him in a coma by itself and that's where it ends? What about Ponyboy?" Soda asked as he felt a panic. He didn't know why the doubts came back over him when they got back to the hospital, but they were coming back hard. His stomach was telling him something wasn't as right as they thought it was.

"Soda stop," Steve put a hand up, "You can't get worked up when you don't know. Hopes up, remember that, keep your hopes up."

Two-Bit walked back to Steve and Soda slowly, "Um...guys, something has changed since we were here."


	18. Chapter 18

Upon hearing Two-Bit's concerned tone, Sodapop rushed into Darry's room first. What he saw almost made him fall. Instead he turned towards Two-Bit, "I hate you." Turning back around, he rushed over and wrapped his arms around his older brother, who was sitting up.

Soda felt the tears rush down his face, "Oh Darry, I can't believe this!"

"Hey, little buddy," Darry said weakly wrapping his arms around his little brother. They just held each other. Soda bawled into Darry's chest. It happened. What he had longed for, what he had panicked over, and what he had cried for had finally happened. Darry was going to be okay.

Two-Bit couldn't help, but grin as he strolled into the room with Steve. Steve whacked Two-Bit in the back and smirked, "You're kind of an ass."

"It's what I do best," Two-Bit shrugged.

Darry, still holding onto Soda, looked up at the two greasers at his doorway, "Hey you two."

"What's up Superman?" Steve grinned.

"It's great to see you awake," Two-Bit smiled.

Soda lifted himself off and looked at Darry. He still looked tired and winded, but his eyes were open. "I thought I lost you Darry," Soda cried and let the words just spill out, "I thought this was just it. I thought you were gone forever. I thought I was gong to be alone. Darry, I was so scared."

"I'm not going anywhere buddy," Darry grabbed Soda's face.

"Darry, I'm so sorry," Soda held Darry's hand against his face.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. You didn't do anything, at all." Steve and his unanswered questions couldn't help but notice what Darry had said. He said Soda didn't do anything, nothing at all. Was he saying that, because Soda didn't need to feel guilty, or because Soda really didn't do anything? Maybe he could ask Darry later if he remembered anything from the accident. He'd have to be patient before jumping into that though. Darry sighed, "The doctor says I've been out for some days."

Two-Bit nodded, "Yeah, but don't worry. We've been helping Soda out and Steve's been fixing up your truck."

"What?" Darry asked looking at Steve, "You didn't have to worry about that."

"Oh it's nothing," Steve replied.

"It wasn't nothing," Soda shook his head, "He's been there so much. The night you and Pony got here, Steve came straight here and stayed at the house with me. He's kept me straight in the head." He looked over at Steve with a smile. Steve returned the smile.

"Thank you, Steve," Darry said, "I'm not really sure what else to say right now. That's just incredible."

"What else is family for?" Steve shrugged. Darry smiled and felt some relief. It made him happy to think someone was really there for Soda and didn't let him lose his mind through all of this.

"Has the doctor seen you?" Soda asked.

Darry nodded, "Yeah. I still might be here for a few days, so they can keep an eye on me. They want me to try and get up later and see how I feel. I'm sure I'll be hurting. Doctor also thinks I'll have a concussion for some time."

"Is anything broken?" Soda asked.

"A couple of ribs, nothing I can't handle," Darry winked.

"You are a tough son of a bitch," Two-Bit remarked.

Darry nodded. His smile turned into a frown, "They told me Ponyboy wasn't up yet."

Steve shook his head, "They have been trying to wake him up."

"Have you seen him yet?" Darry asked.

"No," Soda shook his head, "I've been scared to. I'm sorry."

"It's nothing to be sorry about Soda, I'd be scared too," Darry leaned back against the pillow, "I just wish I could get up and go in there."

"I'll go check in on him," Steve said, getting up from leaning against the wall and leaving the room. He walked over and opened Ponyboy's door. As the door closed, he saw a nurse checking his vitals. "How has he been doing?"

"No seizures today," the nurse smiled, "Dr. Turff is deciding if he wants to lower the medicine again or take advantage of the progress."

Steve nodded, "That's good."

After the nurse finished writing her notes, she left the room. Steve observed Ponyboy's condition. The tubes and wires attached to him just seemed endless. The one eye was still covered in bandage. The bruising to his face was still there, but it did seem less dramatic. Part of his head was also bandaged. His arm was in a cast, and the leg that was originally being restricted was now in it's own cast. He seemed crowded by machines. How would he react waking up to this scene?

Steve ran a hand down his face and sighed, "We're still on a long road, aren't we kid?"

The machines continued to beep. Steve pulled a chair up to the side of the bed and took a seat.

"Well kid, we've made a big step here. Darry woke up, and Soda...he's thrilled. I'm thrilled. We're all thrilled. He seems to be doing great too. He's going to be walking away with less than what I would have imagined. But you know, and I know, Soda and Darry still can't go on in life without you pulling through too. They need you kid, we all need you here with us." The thought of Soda losing Pony brought tears to Steve's eyes. He couldn't imagine seeing his best friend go through that. Steve quickly wiped at his eyes, stood up, and replaced the chair. He walked to the door and opened it. Holding the door open with one hand, Steve took one look back. "Just pull through, Ponyboy."

* * *

After a long visit, Darry grew tired. That was the sign for the boys to leave. Even though Soda didn't want to, he also knew Darry needed the rest. As Darry lowered himself into a resting position, Soda fell against his chest. Feeling his older brother's chest against his cheek again brought an incredible comfort. Soda and Darry lasted in a long embrace before departing.

"I'll be here tomorrow. I love you," Darry said as he let go.

"I love you too," Soda turned and left the room. He blinked away tears fast.

"Do you want to go see Ponyboy? He hasn't had any issues all day," Steve said. Soda looked at the door that lead to his little brother's body. "There's still a little bit of time for visiting hours."

"Okay," Soda said, "I'll go in for a minute." Soda opened the door and slowly entered by himself. He walked over and kissed Ponyboy's forehead. As much as he hated seeing the machines and bandages, Soda did feel warm inside seeing his little brother. Darry waking up really gave him more hope than ever. "I can't be in here long. I'm sorry I haven't come in much, but...your seizure scared me something awful. But you seem to be having a good day. Darry woke up, so that's amazing. Now I just need you to wake up. I'll come in here more tomorrow, okay? I love you so much, Pony."

Soda left the room after his quick words. He didn't like that the seizure had effected his visits to Ponyboy. Soda silently prayed that Pony would wake up quick so those effects wouldn't last.

The three boys exited the hospital and got in Steve's car. Soda quickly helped himself to the backseat. He looked outside his window and up at the sky that was slowly changing from day to night. As he sent a thankful prayer, he began to cry happy tears. He felt bad he had been in so much doubt, but Darry's waking up changed everything. Now he began to feel optimistic about Ponyboy.

Looking in the rear view mirror, Steve saw Soda's tear-stained face. "Do you want to get something to eat?" he asked. Soda wiped at his face and nodded.

"I know this is going to sound weird," Soda began as the car drove, "But I'm scared Darry is going to go to sleep and go back in a coma."

"That's not how that works, buddy," Steve said, "You know that. He's going to be okay."

Soda nodded, "I know, I know. I guess it's hard to completely believe that when we're still leaving him at the hospital.

Steve drove the boys to the Dingo. They saw Johnny and Dally sitting at a table, so they walked over to join them and tell them the news.

"Hey guys, guess what?" Two-Bit started.

"What?" Johnny asked.

"Darry's up!" Two-Bit said excitedly.

"No shit?" Dally asked taking a bite of some fries.

"Yeah he woke up earlier," Steve added, "And Pony went without any seizures today."

"All improvements," Two-Bit commented, "Makes me hungry."

"Well we can probably come with you guys tomorrow then," Johnny said, beginning to feel hopeful himself for his best friend.

As the greasers settled in and ordered some more food and drinks, Steve and Two-Bit stepped outside to smoke.

"So," Two-Bit lit his cigarette, "Do you still want me to stay over tonight? Or do you think Soda will be okay tonight?"

"You can do whatever. I'm sure Soda will be fine tonight," Steve inhaled at his cigarette.

Two-Bit looked at Steve. He could tell Steve had let some stress go with everything positive that happened today. Unfortunately that meant Steve was starting to feel the exhaust of not taking care of himself, and was now starting to look like a complete wreck. "What about you?"

"Huh?" Steve asked.

"Are you going to be okay?" Two-Bit asked.

"What are you talking about?" Steve exhaled his smoke.

"You seem out of it. You've been holding a lot on your shoulders. Maybe you should take a night off. You can go home and I'll sleep with Soda," Two-Bit offered.

"No, no," Steve shook his head, "I'm fine, Two-Bit."

"But Steve..."

"I said I'm fine, Two-Bit. Really."

"Okay, fine. But I'm coming over anyway."

"Cool, cool" Steve put his cigarette out.

* * *

When they returned to the Curtis house, the three boys went in the backyard. Two-Bit and Soda started a basketball game while Steve sat on the back porch smoking another cigarette. He was feeling really tired, and a little too weak to even get up and shoot a basketball. He didn't care though, he was just glad to see Soda having some fun. He was acting like his normal self with Two-Bit. They were throwing wisecracks at each other and making bets over shooting the baskets. At one point, Soda even chased Two-Bit around the yard and tackled him. It was all making Steve smile and laugh. After some time of relaxing on the porch, Steve could feel a headache coming on. He figured it was just the day's events. It was good stress, but it was a lot. Exhaustion was also starting to come upon him.

After spending some time outside, the boys began to settle for bed. "Fuck it, I'm taking Darry's bed," Two-Bit commented following the other two upstairs.

"You could have this entire time," Soda commented.

"Naw, it would've been too weird before."

Steve was in the bathroom and began washing his face. As he looked at his reflection, he didn't think he looked that great. He was slightly pale. "I just need a really good sleep," Steve told himself.

Getting settled into bed, Steve took out his pills, "Do you think you'll be okay tonight?"

Soda nodded, "Yeah, I'm okay." As Steve took out one pill for himself, Soda continued, "Steve, I'm sorry I accused you of taking some street shit. I know you wouldn't do that, let alone give it to me."

Steve took a drink of water as he swallowed the pill, "It's okay Soda. I understand."

"Steve?"

"What?"

"What are they for?"

Steve took a breath. Maybe Two-Bit was right, it shouldn't be a big deal to talk about. Steve did feel insecure about it though, because he didn't really have the answers to what caused it. He didn't want the gang to treat him any different or act like they needed to help him get extra tired before he tried to sleep. The word that scared him the most was 'disorder.' He hadn't liked when the doctor used that word, especially for something as common as sleeping. Who couldn't just go to sleep? Who needed a prescription to just sleep? Didn't only babies have trouble sleeping?

"Insomnia," Steve simply replied.

Soda's eyebrows furrowed, "A sleeping pill?"

Steve shrugged, "I mean, yes, but it's a little more complicated than that. A few months ago I just started noticing something different with me. I was feeling off. I was feeling really tired, like _really _tired. I was feeling some anxiety, I started having trouble sleeping throughout the entire night. I couldn't focus on anything. So, I did go to the doctor and he told me I have insomnia. He said it's a disorder though..."

Soda couldn't speak for a moment as he took it all in. "A disorder?" Soda repeated, "What do...why didn't you say anything?"

"It was too hard," Steve admitted.

"I'm so sorry Steve," Soda put an arm around his best friend, "Just...wow."

"It's okay. I'm sorry I didn't say anything. I was trying to get my mind wrapped around it myself, I still am I guess."

"So the medicine just helps you sleep?"

"I mean, yeah. There are some nights I do wake up and can't get back to sleep, but the pills help that not happen much," Steve explained.

"So what about the nights you let me have one? What happened to you?" Soda asked concerned.

"I just hung out outside. If I lay in bed awake, it can mess with me. That's really when my anxiety rises and it can get the best of me. So, even though being outside doesn't put me to sleep, it does help me relax," Steve answered, "It helps me not be as anxious the next day."

"I wish you would have told me about this. I would have never taken your medicine when you really needed it," Soda said feeling the guilt.

"It's okay, Soda. A couple nights of sleep won't kill me," Steve assured, "I do need to sleep tonight though. I have a pretty bad headache. I'm not feeling the best."

As Steve settled onto the pillow, Soda said, "Thanks Steve. For everything."


	19. Chapter 19

The next day, all five greasers showed up at the hospital. They all were thrilled to visit an awake Darry. Everyone's hopes seemed to be rising. Darry was beginning to feel on edge about Ponyboy since he couldn't go visit him. He was constantly asking for updates from the nurses, and was frustrated when not much was given. The nurses did have Darry try getting up that morning, but he didn't last long. The pain from his ribs and just being weak from his coma was too much for his body. That only frustrated Darry more. He wanted to get out of there and go recover at home. Soda was just thankful he was still awake. He was scared to walk into the hospital, thinking something would have back tracked. It was such a relief that everything was as he left it. The morning had been a slight blur to Steve. His headache dulled away, but he didn't sleep as great as he would've liked. It didn't help that everyone was talking to Darry all at once. It all just seemed extra noisy. Steve was aware how his insomnia could get if he didn't sleep the best. He didn't want to become on edge or irritated around everyone. Especially not when Two-Bit was already being cautious about his health. Steve tried staying towards a far corner, but the room was too small to truly get away.

"Hey guys, I'm going to the DX for a little bit," Steve announced, "Soda, I can come get you later, okay?"

"Okay, sounds good," Soda nodded.

Two-Bit got up, "I'll come with you Steve."

"Are you sure?" Steve asked confused.

"Yeah, it's crowded in here anyway. Dally? Johnny? You guys good?" Two-Bit asked.

"Yeah," Dally answered, "We'll hang here for a while."

"Alright, see you guys later," Two-Bit waved as him and Steve exited the room.

As the boys got into Steve's car, Two-Bit said, "You seem out of it today." Steve rolled his eyes.

"I don't know," Steve started the ignition, "I don't feel the greatest. I'm fine though. Just figure I'll go work on Darry's truck."

"You can show me it," Two-Bit said. The car ride was silent at first. Two-Bit kept glancing at Steve, who looked like he was driving as a zombie. Two-Bit couldn't tell if he was even processing the road ahead of him. "How are you doing today?" he asked.

Steve slowly shook his head as he stared out the windshield, "Fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Two-Bit, I am fine," Steve said.

Two-Bit rolled his eyes as he ended the conversation. He didn't know how Steve was going to keep up with everything if he didn't help himself too. It made Two-Bit believe he wouldn't be able to just leave Steve at the Curtis house by himself to help Soda. He was just waiting for Steve to have a breakdown.

At the DX, Two-Bit followed Steve into the garage. "Okay, so what were you seeing that was bandoozling you?"

"Bandoozling?" Steve asked.

"Yeah," Two-Bit smiled. He always felt prideful when he thought of a new word.

Steve just shook his head, "Well, it's hard to tell now, because I did get a good amount of work done. But here, the driver door."

Two-Bit's eyes widen, "Wow, that does look awful. It's pretty crushed. Can you fix that?"

"It will take a lot of prying and bending around, but yeah I'll get it. But what is throwing my brain through a damn loop is Soda says he was driving. It looks like the truck had fallen onto this side, so I would imagine something worse happening to Soda. And if Darry was in the passenger side, he'd be the one okay. But when I brought that part up to Soda, he blurted that Darry was in the backseat," Steve explained.

"Darry in the back? Why?" Two-Bit asked.

"Well, he claimed Darry was sitting in the back like a joke about Soda's driving. But I don't know if I believe that or anything Soda is saying."

"So...did you ever find out what trick Soda was talking about?"

Steve shook his head, "I honestly have no idea what he is talking about. I've shown him cool driving moves at drag races and stuff, but nothing that would make me think he'd cause an accident like this."

"So what are you thinking happened?"

Steve shrugged, "I don't know. I'm actually hoping I can get Darry alone at some point and see what he remembers. Maybe Soda is trying to cover something."

"Good deal. For now, I guess we work on this bad boy," Two-Bit said clapping his hands together. Steve gave him a look. Laughing, Two-Bit continued, "Relax, relax, I'm joking. You work on it. I'll keep you entertained."

Two-Bit spent the day watching Steve work on the truck. Steve was actually glad Two-Bit came with him. It made him feel a little better to not be alone right now, especially with how bad he was feeling. He didn't want to be alone with his thoughts. Two-Bit's muscles came in handy a little bit too.

"I told Soda," Steve suddenly said while wiping his hands on a towel.

"Told Soda?" Two-Bit asked.

"About the pills."

"Good. I'm glad you did."

Steve took a deep breath, "Yeah, me too."

As it got closer to the evening, Steve and Two-Bit headed back to the hospital. Dally had left earlier in the day. Johnny and Soda visited Ponyboy together when Darry took a nap. They said there was still no seizures, and they were getting closer to having him off the medication altogether. Everyone was in Darry's room saying goodbye for the night.

"Are you going to ask?" Two-Bit asked Steve quietly.

Steve looked at Darry and saw how tired he looked. "Maybe tomorrow. I'm not going to bother him about it right now."

Everyone said their goodbyes to Darry and departed the hospital. Two-Bit offered to drive everyone home. Steve got in the passenger seat while Soda and Johnny got in the back.

"It's still weird seeing Pony like that," Johnny started saying towards Soda, "I can't get use to it."

"I know," Soda replied, "Things are really turning around though. I bet he'll be up soon."

Back at the house, Steve and Soda sat outside for a cigarette. "How was the visit?" Steve asked.

"It was great," Soda replied, "I just wish Pony would wake up."

"I know, buddy."

Soda's lip began to quiver, "What if he doesn't wake up?"

"Soda..."

"But Steve, why hasn't he woken up yet?" Soda begged.

"Soda, stop. You can't think like that."

Steve looked over at his best friend and saw the tears suddenly flow down. "I just can't help it Steve," Soda whimpered, "I am so happy Darry is awake, but what if me being so happy is going to be a waste?"

"Sodapop..."

"I could be excited for nothing. Pony could sleep for years. And they still don't know when Darry is even going to come home yet, because he has a lot of recovery to do."

"Soda, stop!" Steve barked. Soda looked taken aback. Steve ran a hand down his face as he calmed himself down, "You have to stop thinking that way, okay? You worrying like that isn't going to help things. You have to have hope."

Soda suddenly got up and walked inside. Steve tossed his cigarette to go after him. He walked inside to Two-Bit and Johnny relaxing on the couch and enjoying some chocolate cake. Going upstairs, Steve found Soda sitting on the bathroom floor. It flashed Steve back to the stall. He sat down next to Soda and listened to him cry.

"Soda, what's going on? So much good has been happening. Darry has been up, Pony hasn't had anymore seizures. What is bothering you?"

"I know so much good is happening," Soda agreed, "But there is so much more to happen. I thought once they woke up, they'd come home, and everything would be okay. Life would go back to normal. But, while you were gone, the doctor was telling us about Darry's recovery and they don't have a definite time for him to come home. My brother is awake and he still can't come home, Steve. He won't be his normal self for who knows how damn long!"

Steve put an arm around his best friend, "I know, Soda. I know you're frustrated, but..."

Soda stood up, "No Steve, I'm not frustrated. That doesn't describe how I'm feeling at all. Being hopeful does not help how I'm feeling go away." Soda stood at the bathroom doorway with his hands on his hips. He stared out into the hallway while Steve still sat behind him.

"Okay, then tell me how you're feeling."

Soda shook his head, "I feel like I have nothing left. I thought I felt at the end of the road before, but this is it. I just wanted things to go back to normal, but they aren't. Ponyboy could sleep forever. I don't know what else to do, Steve. I feel so defeated, I have nothing else to give, my strength is so low." Steve didn't know how to respond to that. He was shocked to hear his best friend still feeling this way after there was progress. The unknown was hurting Soda and it was hurting him bad. When Steve didn't respond, Soda walked away and towards his bedroom.

Steve felt his own tears form in his eyes as he watched his best friend disappear. "I'm so sorry, Soda."

* * *

The next day, Steve asked Two-Bit to take Soda and Johnny out and do something. He decided he'd talk to Darry without anyone else around and this was the right time to do that. He lied and told Soda he was going to the DX and they'd all look into visiting Darry and Pony later. Soda seemed okay that morning. A night of sleep calmed him down. He seemed a little more chipper now. Steve had worried his head off about Soda after what he had said last night. He didn't bother taking one of his pills, because he knew he was going to worry too much and not sleep anyway.

At the hospital, Steve made it up to Darry's room. He saw Darry eating a little bit of food.

"Hey Superman," Steve greeted.

"Hey Steve," Darry greeted back.

"How are you feeling?" Steve asked, taking a seat.

Darry nodded, "A little better. I'm trying to make myself walk okay so they let me go home sooner. I keep telling them they can't do anything for a concussion or broken ribs anyway, but you know doctors."

"Don't rush anything," Steve said, "We want you home, but we do want you strong too."

"Yeah, I know," Darry agreed, "I just know Soda didn't like I'd have to stay a while. He wants me to come home."

Steve nodded, "I know he does, but I know he wouldn't want you to come home too messed up and then we bring you back here anyway."

"Yeah, yeah. Where is everyone?"

"Two-Bit took them to the park I think to burn some energy," Steve said looking at his hands.

"Hey Steve, I need to tell you how thankful I am for everything you've done. I mean, I don't know exactly all you've done, but I'm sure Soda was a mess and you fixing up the truck. I sure am grateful for you," Darry said.

"You guys would do the same for me," Steve smiled.

"Thank you so much Steve. While you and Two-Bit left for a bit yesterday, Soda couldn't stop talking about how much he needed you and you were there for everything. He would've been lost without Steve."

Steve nodded, "It's the least I could do." He didn't feel like he had done enough after Soda's breakdown last night.

"By the way, don't be mad at Soda," Darry continued, "But he told me about your insomnia."

Steve closed his eyes, "Did he tell everyone?"

Darry shook his head, "No, he told me alone. I think he needed to tell somebody, he was surprised and so am I. Why didn't you want anyone to know?"

"I'm just trying to handle it myself still. Trying to see what all works best for me and stuff," Steve explained, "Honestly, I wasn't sure if I wanted to say anything, but Two-Bit kind of got it out of me the other night. So, I don't know."

"Well, we're all here for you Steve. I only say that, because I know insomnia can lead to other things if it gets the best of you. Anxiety or depression. Things like that. So we're definitely here for you," Darry said reassuringly.

"I appreciate it Darry, really,' Steve nodded, "I did come here alone for a reason."

Darry saw the concern look on Steve's face, "What's going on?"

"Darry," Steve took a breath, "I've been trying to understand what happened the night of the accident. Soda is telling me this story that doesn't make sense. He told me about you guys going out for your promotion. He told me he was so excited and was driving you guys home, but then he did some trick and crashed the truck. I'm just lost, because the driver's side..."

"Wait, wait, wait," Darry put a hand up, "Slow down. What did you say? He got excited and what?"

Steve swallowed, "Sorry, sorry, I know I'm going fast. I've just been trying to get answers. He um, he got excited while he was driving..."

"After we had dinner?" Darry asked.

"Yes, on the way home," Steve repeated.

"Steve," Darry shook his head, "Soda wasn't driving."


	20. Chapter 20

Soda wasn't driving. Those were the words that just came out of Darry's mouth. Those were the words that Steve just heard. It all came together for Steve then. It all made sense for him now. He still felt some shock come over him from hearing those words. He felt his headache begin to return.

"Wh-What?" Steve finally asked.

"Soda didn't drive. I was driving us home," Darry sat himself up, "Steve, what did Soda tell you?"

"I...he said...he told me..." Steve's mind began to process as the words were struggling to come out, "Damn, I don't even know anymore."

"Steve..."

"Darry, are you absolutely sure you were driving?" Steve interrupted, standing up from his chair, "That could mean a lot for me, but I need to know if you're sure."

"Yes, yes. I may have been out of it for some days now, but I didn't forget anything. I know I was driving. Why would Soda say he was driving? Why in the hell..." Darry paused as he grabbed at his side.

"Darry, are you okay? Calm down, relax," Steve put an arm around Darry to help him slide back down into the bed.

"It's just my ribs," Darry took in a deep breath as he slowly got his body to settle, "Has he been saying this the whole time I've been out of it?"

"Yeah he has. Don't hurt yourself though," Steve calmly said, knowing the conversation couldn't go any further, "Listen, you relax. I'll talk to Soda, okay? I'll figure all of this out."

"But Steve," Darry took some quick breaths, "I don't understand. Why...why would he say that? Why does he think that? Why are his memories not coming together after some time?"

"I don't know Darry. I really don't know," Steve shook his head, "I knew something was up though. I knew something wasn't making sense. But don't worry, I'll get to the bottom of it, okay? We'll come back tomorrow and you can talk to him too. But for now, you just rest. You just focus on getting your strength up, okay?"

Darry slowly nodded. He didn't like not handling the problem. He didn't like not understanding what was going on with Sodapop, or even Ponyboy. He didn't like being forced in a bed and not knowing what was going on at home. He also knew Steve was right though. If he tried doing anything, he'd just backtrack his progress. Knowing his questions wouldn't get answered right now, Darry simply said, " Thank you Steve. For everything."

Steve smiled, "It's no sweat."

* * *

Steve headed back to the Curtis house. His car ride seemed long and every red light seemed to stop him. It was causing him a lot of frustration. His head was full of questions and he was trying to figure out how to bring up this conversation to Soda. He prepared for Soda to get defensive and attack back at Steve, like last time. Soda was already sick of Steve bringing up the accident, so Steve was aware this wouldn't be easy. Not easy at all.

Steve had an idea that he would just have to come right out and start talking to Soda. Hesitating would make it even more uneasy and get Soda more on edge in the beginning. With the game plan in mind, Steve parked in the driveway, got out of his car and walked right inside to the entire gang in the living room.

"Hey Steve," Two-Bit greeted. He was sitting on the floor next to the coffee table, trying to build a house with a deck of cards.

"Are we going to see Darry now?" Soda asked, standing up from the couch.

Steve sighed, figuring he should have expected that question. He had probably been asking Two-Bit about it all day. "Maybe. Can we talk first?"

"Sure," Soda nodded.

Two-Bit glanced at Steve and could see the slight urgency to talk to Soda. Steve could tell Two-Bit was wanting to ask if everything was okay, but Steve's expression was saying he didn't even know the answer himself.

Soda followed Steve upstairs. They entered the bedroom and Soda closed the door behind him. "What's going on? Did you hear something about Ponyboy?"

Steve leaned against the dresser and ran his hand down the back of his neck. He tried hard to not think about the way to bring up what Darry said, he just wanted to start talking. "No, no. Everything's fine, or at least it's all still the same."

"Then what's up?" Soda asked with concern. If it wasn't about his brothers, then what was wrong?

"I did go see Darry today. I wanted to talk to him privately about the accident..."

Steve watched as Soda grew annoyed instantly, "Damnit Steve, why can't you just drop it? Why do you have to bother him after he just woke up?"

"Soda, I need you to just listen to me for a minute, okay? Please?" Steve pleaded with a low tone. Soda crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. Steve could tell Soda was angry, but he didn't argue. He waited for Steve to continue. "I told Darry what you said had happened. You driving and the trick you pulled and everything. Darry..." Steve took a breath, "Darry said you weren't...you weren't the one driving though."

Soda didn't respond. He just stared at Steve. His face was expressionless. It kind of scared Steve how unresponsive he was being. "Soda? Is that true?"

Soda slowly began shaking his head, "No."

"No?"

"Darry doesn't know what he's talking about Steve. Come on, he just woke up, you can't honestly think he remembers the accident right?" Soda began pacing the bedroom and scratching his head. Steve couldn't help, but wonder if Soda was trying to remember what happened that night, but refused to come off as the dumb one in the situation.

"He seems to remember it just fine," Steve shrugged, "And honestly Soda, I believe him. It makes more sense than what you told me."

Soda grabbed at his hair, "No, that's not right. I...I remember it. I was driving. I wasn't the one in the coma, so I'm sure my memory is right."

"Maybe you blacked out at first. I'm sure you were in shock. There wouldn't be any shame in admitting that. I mean..."

Soda spun around to face Steve, "I did not black out. I think I would have noticed if I woke up."

"Soda, it may have been a quick black out and wake up in shock. I can tell you that's happened a couple of times I've had my really bad drunken nights," Steve struggled to find the right words, "You...maybe...I don't think you actually remember the accident right. I think that you think this is all your fault, but that's based off a false memory."

"Steve, stop."

"Darry seemed shocked that you even claimed you were driving. He seemed very sure it was him behind the wheel."

Soda turned away to keep Steve from seeing any tears form in his eyes, "Steve shut up. Now."

"You weren't the one driving Soda. Just listen to me. You did not cause the accident. You were not driving. Darry was."

"Shut up!" Soda yelled as he turned and connected his fist with Steve's face. Steve caught himself from falling onto the floor. He hadn't expected that reaction. That scenario had not played out in his head. Both boys looked at each other with eyes full of shock. Soda's hands flew to his mouth. "Oh my God..."

"Soda," Steve put a hand up, "Don't...It's okay, man."

It didn't matter what Steve said though. Soda ran out of the bedroom and Steve heard him fly down the stairs and go out the front door. Steve heard the gang downstairs call for Soda as the front door slammed shut. Steve remained where he was. He couldn't find himself to move as his mind raced through what had just took place. His eyes formed tears as he felt fearful for his best friend.

Footsteps came up the stairs and Steve quickly wiped at his eyes. Two-Bit appeared at the bedroom door. He saw Steve holding his cheek.

"Steve? What happened?" Two-Bit asked.

Steve rubbed at his cheek where Soda had hit him, "Nothing. I think Soda is deeply confused."

"What did you tell him? What did Darry say?"

"Two-Bit, it was Darry."

"What was Darry?" Two-Bit asked confused.

"Darry was driving. He told me."

"What? Are you sure?"

Steve slowly nodded, "I'm very sure."

"Why would Soda say he was?"

"I think he was in shock, maybe he still is, or he blacked out. I don't really know, Two-Bit. Darry told me he was driving though. And he didn't seem to be questioning his memory," Steve explained as he looked down at the floor. As relieved as he felt to get answers, now he felt he needed more answers to what was really going on with Soda.

"Oh man," Two-Bit leaned against the doorway, "We should go after him. This can't be good for him to be alone with right now."

Steve nodded in agreement, "Let's go."

Downstairs, Steve and Two-Bit walked to the front door.

"What's going on?" Dally asked.

"We just need to find Soda," Two-Bit explained, "Can you and Johnny stay here in case he comes back?"

"Yeah sure," Dally nodded, "What happened?"

"Darry was driving that night," Steve blurted out, "Damnit you guys, I knew it! I just knew it! I knew Soda wasn't driving that night. I should have looked deeper into it and gotten him help or...or something!" Steve hit the front door and then leaned his head against it. Anger was rising in him. He promised to be there for Sodapop, and he felt like he was failing him. Tears came to his eyes again, and he fought them as hard as he could. Steve didn't usually tear up so easily, no matter what was going on.

"You couldn't have done anything else," Dally commented.

Steve's eyes flew open, "What are you talking about?"

"You're already trying to do so damn much," Dally went on, "You can't do everything."

"That's not what I need to hear right now," Steve said spinning around.

"Okay guys, just cool it," Two-Bit said, "Let's go find Soda, okay?"

"Fine," Steve muttered throwing the front door open. Him and Two-Bit settled on walking to find Soda. They figured he didn't go far and he probably wouldn't stay far. "I can't believe Dally. I could have done something else, I could have done a lot more."

"Steve, you know he didn't mean anything bad by that. He was just saying you are trying to juggle so much, how could we expect you to figure that out by yourself on top of everything else?"

"I should have tried harder though! I knew in my gut what I believed in, but I didn't try hard enough to get to the truth and help Soda. He's probably really fucked up in the head now believing in some fantasy for days that his head made up, and then I drop this truth bomb on him."

"I don't understand Steve," Two-Bit shook his head, "What is going on with Soda? Why is he believing in something else?"

"I just think he's in shock and his brain is all jumbled right now," Steve replied, "He might actually know the truth, but for some reason wants to take the blame." A sudden ache started to crawl into Steve's head as they kept walking.

"Well how do we fix it?" Two-Bit asked.

"I think Darry needs to talk to him," Steve looked around. He felt his head trying to catch up with him as his vision got slightly fuzzy. He slowed down his steps as he rubbed at his temple.

"Should we bring him to Darry tonight?" Two-Bit asked. His voice sounded muffled to Steve.

"Um," Steve's steps began slowing to a stop, "No, Darry was...was...starting to, uh, hurt."

"Steve, are you okay?" Two-Bit suddenly asked.

Steve felt a sudden pain erupt in his head as his vision went dark.


	21. Chapter 21

"Steve? Steve! Steve, come on buddy, wake up!" Steve slowly opened his eyes and saw a blurred figure shaking him. He wasn't sure what was going on or where he was. "Steve? Can you hear me?" He blinked his eyes a few times and could slightly make out Two-Bit's figure standing over him.

"Wha-What happened?" Steve mumbled bringing his hands to his eyes. He began rubbing at them and tried sitting up, but a pain in his head forced him to stay down.

"Hold on, slow down," Two-Bit said giving Steve some support as he lowered back down, "You just passed out, but only for a few seconds."

"Why?" Steve asked as the fuzziness started to even out in his vision, "What's going on?"

"I don't know why you did. You just dropped out of nowhere. Let's get you back to the house," Two-Bit slowly helped Steve up to his feet, "Just go slow."

Steve got to his feet. He took a few deep breaths as his legs stopped shaking. He briefly looked around at his surroundings and remembered why he had been out in the first place, "What about Soda? Where is he?"

"I'm sure he's fine. He was pretty upset, but he'll come home when he's ready. Right now, I think you need to lay down."

Two-Bit walked with Steve back to the house. Steve would feel his body go weak at times, but he managed to make it back. He didn't like that he had gone weak and couldn't handle what was happening, but he kept quiet about it and just focused on needing the rest. They got back to the house with Dally and Johnny still there by themselves.

"You guys weren't gone long," Dally commented.

"Steve isn't feeling well," Two-Bit said helping Steve onto the couch, "He blacked out for a second."

"Why?" Johnny asked.

"Who knows," Steve grunted holding his head.

"I think you just have too much going on," Two-Bit commented, "I told you you can't handle everything by yourself."

"We all told you that," Dally added in, "It's going to kick you in the ass."

"Can it," Steve said frustrated. He slowly sat up, "I'm just going to go upstairs to take a nap."

"Good idea," Two-Bit said, "You should just go ahead and take one of yo-" Steve shot Two-Bit a glare before he could finish his sentence. Two-Bit caught himself and stopped. "Just go get some rest."

Steve slowly went upstairs and got into the bed. His head was throbbing and there was a dull pain behind his eyes. "Damnit," he mumbled as he let his head sink into the pillow. He was feeling anger and annoyance rise. An anger towards himself. He refused to let himself go weak now, not when they could be so close to the finish line of everything. He had to be there for Soda. "I promised him I'd be there for him, all the way," Steve told himself, "I can't back down now."

* * *

About an hour passed when Two-Bit, Dally, and Johnny went out on the front porch for a smoke.

"So what's going on with Steve?" Dally asked as he took an inhale of his cigarette.

"I just think Steve is stressed out and not taking very good care of himself. We all know that. We all know he's trying to be Soda's supporter through everything and refuses to show any weakness. Typical Steve, hard to really stop him," Two-Bit shrugged, "And Soda stormed out which didn't help, he's denying everything Steve told him."

"What do you mean?" Johnny asked.

"Well you know Soda thinks he was the one driving when the accident happened, but Darry told Steve that it was him who was driving. So, something is just going on in Soda's head," Two-Bit took a seat on the porch swing, "Steve tried talking to Soda about it, but maybe Soda has to hear it from Darry. Either way, Soda just isn't believing it, so...I don't know, something is definitely up."

"Damn," Dally muttered.

"So, now what?" Johnny asked.

"I do think Soda needs to talk to Darry. And I think Steve needs to start relaxing, which hopefully he can now that Darry is awake," Two-Bit suggested, "But I don't know, maybe we don't need to get to the bottom of the driving thing right away. We don't need it to freak Soda out."

Johnny sighed, "I do wish Pony would wake up too."

Dally put an arm around Johnny, "Don't you worry, kid. He'll come around."

"I hope so. I'm glad Darry is awake and all, but I do miss Ponyboy."

"We all do," Two-Bit commented.

"Well, look who's coming back," Dally said looking down the road. Soda was walking back down the street with his head hung low.

"Alright guys, I'll go ahead and talk to him," Two-Bit said getting up. Dally and Johnny tossed their cigarettes to head inside as Soda made his way up the driveway.

"Hey buddy," Two-Bit greeted as he walked down to meet Soda.

"Hi," Soda said quietly.

"Want a smoke?" Two-Bit reached in his pocket and took his pack of cigarettes out.

"Yeah," Soda took the pack and took one out.

"Let's talk," Two-Bit said. Soda took a seat on the porch steps and faced the driveway while Two-Bit stood behind him. "Steve told me what he told you, and what Darry told him." Two-Bit just watched as Soda shook his head. "Are you trying to take the blame for this, Soda? Do you not want Darry to get in trouble? He wouldn't get in trouble for this, you know that right? It was just an accident."

"No, Two-Bit, that's not it," Soda said, "I remember I was driving."

"Steve said that you kept talking about some trick you were doing that caused the accident. What trick was it?"

Soda just shrugged, "I was just speeding around, trying to do some fast turns and stuff."

"You don't really know though?"

Soda began sounding irritated, "I don't know. No one will just listen to me!"

"Soda, is there a chance you really weren't driving?" Two-Bit asked.

Soda shook his head, "Two-Bit, if I wasn't driving, why does my memory have me remembering it? I remember us leaving the pizza diner, I got into the truck with the keys, I started it up, and I began driving. There was no one out, it was a little late, so I figured I could drive fast and take some sharper turns. Then the truck turned over." Soda began to choke up, but took a deep breath to compose himself. "I remember crawling out of the truck, I was hurting bad. And I turned and saw Darry and Pony in the truck, but they couldn't answer me. They weren't opening their eyes, they weren't moving. I was...I was so scared."

Two-Bit thought for a minute about what Soda said. He wasn't sure what to believe with the details Soda was recalling. "I think you need to talk to Darry. Maybe not right away while he's still in the hospital, but you do need to talk to him. We'll have to see what we can put together. If Darry is remembering it wrong, then he should get some help, you know?"

"Yeah," Soda nodded, "Two-Bit, I hit Steve."

"I kind of figured," Two-Bit commented, "He was holding his face after you left. He didn't say anything though. I don't think he cares, honestly."

Soda's head dropped down, "I didn't want to. I just wanted him to stop talking. I wanted him to stop asking questions."

Two-Bit grinned, "So, is that the most effective way to shut up Steve Randle? I don't think any of us have figured out a way, ever. Just a flying fist to do the trick?"

Soda tried fighting off a smile, but let out a couple chuckles, "Seriously Two-Bit, I shouldn't have done it."

"Soda, I really don't think you have to worry about it. He didn't say anything, in fact he tried going to find you right away. So I really don't think he cares. I wouldn't sweat over it," Two-Bit reassured.

Soda turned to face Two-Bit, "Where is he? Is he still out there looking?"

"He's upstairs resting. He wasn't feeling well when we went to go find out, so we came back here and he's just laying down."

"Should I go talk to him?"

Two-Bit shrugged, "I can't imagine he's actually sleeping, if you catch my drift."

Soda nodded in agreement. He stood up and walked inside the house. He didn't say anything to Dally or Johnny as he went straight upstairs towards his room. Standing outside the door, Soda reflected hitting Steve. He regretted it immediately. He hated that he went to that measure out of frustration. Soda knew Two-Bit was probably right and Steve didn't care at all, but Soda felt rotten and still felt the need to fix it.

"Steve?" Soda asked as he slowly opened the bedroom door. Soda sighed, feeling some relief as he found his best friend out like a light.

* * *

The four greasers decided to go visit Darry while Steve rested. They piled in Two-Bit's car and headed for the hospital. Two-Bit was surprised, but happy when Soda told him Steve was actually asleep. They both knew Steve needed it, a lot.

At the hospital, the greasers found Darry sitting up and eating some dinner.

"Hey guys," Darry smiled.

"Hi Darry," Soda went in for a hug. He was feeling anxious about being there. He knew Darry was aware about his uncertainty of what happened at the accident. Soda didn't want to talk about it though. He hoped he could just be with his big brother and feel protected from everything again.

"Hey buddy," Darry returned the hug.

"How are you feeling?" Dally asked.

"Okay," Darry replied, "Weak."

"Any news on Ponyboy?" Johnny asked.

Darry shrugged, "I don't think they want to tell me much. They don't want to get me riled up, but not knowing isn't helping either."

"I'll go ask," Soda offered, "Come on Johnnycake." Johnny and Dally followed Soda out of the room.

When the three left the room, Darry turned to Two-Bit, "Where's Steve?"

"He's not feeling well," Two-Bit answered, "I think it's stress with everything. He's just relaxing at the house."

"Good," Darry nodded, "He seemed out of it when I saw him earlier. We were talking, but he didn't seem to feel too good."

Two-Bit nodded, "He tried talking to Soda about the whole...who was driving question."

Darry sighed, "I couldn't believe when Steve told me that today. I had no idea that was going on with Soda. I don't even get it, Two-Bit. How did Soda get that in his head?"

Two-Bit shook his head, "I have no idea. Steve wonders if maybe he blacked out or is just in shock."

"I need to talk to him," Darry commented.

"He is still fighting it," Two-Bit added in, "Even when Steve talked to him about what you said, and I even tried talking to him too, he's just not believing us. But maybe you should wait to talk to him until you get out of here. To me, it's not the most serious issue to figure out. You getting out of here is the bigger priority."

"Maybe, but knowing what is happening isn't helping me either," Darry said.

"You can't always be Superman," Two-Bit grinned, "Besides, if you want to be there for whatever is going on with Soda, you need to heal first."

"I know, you're right."

"Sometimes I can be pretty smart," Two-Bit laughed.

Darry shook his head, "I must have been out for a long time."

"Wow!" Two-Bit mocked being hurt, and then laughed, "I do miss you giving me a hard time."

Darry smiled, "My life would be boring without doing it."

Soda, Dally, and Johnny returned inside Darry's room. "What did they say?" Darry asked.

"Well he's off," Dally answered, "He's not on anything anymore."

"No seizures?" Two-Bit asked.

"Nope," Johnny answered.

"So now what? We just have to wait?" Two-Bit asked, "Again?"

"Pretty much. More and more waiting," Dally said. He looked over and saw Johnny's anxious state and patted his back, "Come on Johnny, let's go get a Coke or something." Johnny simply nodded and followed him out.

"He's getting pretty anxious," Darry commented.

"Can you blame him?" Two-Bit asked.

Darry shook his head, "I guess everyone is. Soda are you okay?"

Soda nodded, "I...just hope something happens. Soon. I'm kind of scared."

"It'll be okay, buddy," Darry reassured, "If he's not having any seizures, that's all good." Darry looked over at Two-Bit and understood what he meant by waiting to talk to Soda about the driving problem. No matter how the conversation would go, Soda was not in the right mindset to actually talk about it, or listen to anyone else.

* * *

After about an hour of visiting, Johnny and Dally caught a bus while Two-Bit drove Soda back home.

"Two-Bit, I really am scared," Soda admitted.

"What's scaring you?"

"Pony is officially off the medicine. He's not having seizures. He should wake up, but the doctor doesn't know when he will wake up. It could still take a long time," Soda explained, "It's like his body could just refuse to do anything."

"But at least he has a good chance to wake up. It is good news," Two-Bit said, "Don't be scared. Everything is going the right direction. And if it takes a while for his body to wake up, it should just mean he's healing.""

The boys walked inside the Curtis house. It was quiet. They both walked upstairs and entered Soda's room. Steve was still in the bed. Two-Bit picked up the bottle of pills sitting on the nightstand. "I don't know if he took any, but I think he's out for the rest of the night. That's okay, he needs it."

"He must really not be feeling good," Soda commented as they left the room to go back downstairs, "I guess it's kind of my fault, huh?"

"Stress and not sleeping well will do a lot to a guy," Two-Bit said, "But it was all because he cares about you, Soda. It's not your fault. He just loves you."

The boys took seats at the kitchen table, Soda with chocolate milk and Two-Bit with a beer. "This really is just a waiting game now," Soda said, "It feels so close to being done, but so far too."

Two-Bit nodded, "Everything's going to be good, Soda. I can feel it. Did the doctor mention anything about Darry going home?"

"It could be as soon as a few days. Darry's looking real good to them, so they think he can do some recovery at home fine."

"That's great news, huh?"

"It is," Soda replied, "It just won't be perfect until both of my brothers are home."


	22. Chapter 22

Steve woke up to an empty bed. The sun was trying to force it's rays through the blinds, so he assumed it was later in the evening. He sat up and stretched his arms out. "Damn," he muttered as he popped his neck side to side, officially releasing all the tension he had been carrying. He was feeling rested and much better, remembering the headache he was enduring when he originally laid down. He wasn't sure what all had happened since then, but he did hope Soda had returned home. If not, Steve would go look for him and try to fix everything. Reaching for the nightstand, Steve grabbed the glass of water that was there, figuring Two-Bit brought it up. With a dry throat, he took a long drink, letting the liquid soothe and replenish his body. As he placed the cup back down, he turned the clock to face him. It read 10:30. "What?" Steve asked turning back towards the window. The sun was nice and bright. Steve became full of confusion. "It couldn't be..."

Steve got up and headed downstairs. He found Two-Bit, Soda, and Johnny all sitting on the couch eating chocolate cake.

"Well finally up, are we?" Two-Bit grinned.

"Is it...the morning?" Steve asked looking towards the window by the front door. The three greasers eating chocolate cake didn't really help identify what time of day it was.

Soda nodded, "It sure is."

"But...how long was I out?"

Two-Bit shrugged, "It's been since yesterday afternoon. Like 5:00."

"What?" Steve gasped, "I've been sleeping for that long?"

"We didn't want to wake you," Soda said.

"It's not a big deal. Considering you blacked out yesterday, I think you needed it anyway," Two-Bit added in.

"I guess so," Steve said going across the living room and making his way into the kitchen. Turning the sink on, Steve splashed some cold water to his face. He was feeling a little lost with the time, but Two-Bit was right, he did need it and he was feeling fresh. After Steve dried off his face, he cut himself a slice of cake and poured himself some water.

"Steve?"

Steve turned to Soda standing at the kitchen doorway. He was relieved to see Soda was back home. "What's up man?"

"How are you feeling?"

Steve nodded, "Really good, actually."

"Good," Soda sighed, "Steve, I am sorry I hit you. I regretted it right away. I just wanted you to stop asking questions, and..."

"Soda," Steve put a hand up to stop him, "It's okay, really. I'm not even worried about it."

Soda looked down to the floor, "Okay."

"Really, buddy. It's just fine. No harm done," Steve smiled, "What else happened yesterday since I was out?"

"We went to see Darry. They took Pony off all the medicines," Soda said.

"Really?" Steve asked with some surprise. He couldn't believe something major happened at the hospital, and that was the time he decided to catch up on sleep. "Damn, Soda, I'm sorry I wasn't there with you for that!"

"It's okay Steve. It's not like I was there as they were taking him off, they just told us about it when we got there. He wasn't having seizures or anything, so we just have to wait for him to wake up. I am a little scared though."

"I know buddy. That is good though, that's actually great news. It's something we've been waiting for. I'm just sorry I couldn't have been there with you."

Soda shrugged, "You needed to take care of yourself for once."

Steve smiled, "Yeah, yeah, I know. But that is really good news."

"Yeah, I know. I just want something to happen. Why can't something just happen? Why can't the body just wake up like it's been doing for years now?"

Steve looked down to the floor, "Now you know my frustration on not being able to fall asleep."

Soda ran his hands over his face, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."

"No, it's true. It is very true. If I had the answer to those types of questions, I'd tell you buddy. I'm still trying to figure it out myself."

Soda sighed, "I just...I just don't get it. Why is it taking so long?"

"I don't know buddy," Steve shrugged, "The body is complicating. It'll be the right moment when he wakes up though. Do you want to go there today?"

Soda nodded, "I mean, since Darry is up now I should go everyday until he can come home."

"Yeah sure," Steve tapped his fingers against his glass of water, "Soda, I know you're getting frustrated..."

"I still shouldn't have hit you," Soda interrupted, "That was stupid of me."

"I just...I want to figure out what is going on in your head. Do you really remember being the one driving? Or are you trying to cover something?"

Soda sighed, "Steve, I truly..._truly _remember driving. If-If I wasn't, then I'm...I'm really scared, because I don't know what's going on then. I don't remember it happening any other way. I don't remember Darry getting into the driver's seat of the truck."

"Okay, Soda okay. That's okay, we can get it figured out. You don't have to be scared," Steve said, "Do you want to go to the police station and ask for the report? Then we can start figuring out if you or Darry aren't remembering it right."

Soda brought his hands up to cover his face, shaking his head, "Steve, I don't know if I want to know. I don't want to know if my brain is being a messed up wreck on me."

Steve walked over and pulled Soda into a hug, "Listen, if it turns out you're remembering things wrong, we'll fix that. If it's Darry messing it up, we'll fix that then. But I don't think living in the unknown is going to help anything. I think we need the truth to start."

Soda nodded into Steve's shoulder, "I know. I'm just..."

"I know," Steve rubbed Soda's back, "Let's go and get some answers."

* * *

Soda looked up at the police station as he stepped out of Steve's car. "Sheesh, how can you walk in there?" Soda asked.

"Um," Steve smirked, "I really can't unless my best friend is suffering from amnesia."

Soda smiled as he shoved Steve, "Only you can get away with saying that right now." The best friends laughed as they walked up the steps and into the doors.

"Excuse me?" Steve asked the police officer at the desk he originally went to when he was trying to find Darry's truck. He was hoping this would truly be the last time he had to come here.

"How can I help you?" the officer asked. It was a different officer than last time, and he at least looked like he was in a better mood than the last one.

"We were wondering if we could look at a report of a past accident he was in?" Steve asked pointing at Soda, "It's kind of important."

"What's your name, son?" the officer asked.

Soda took a breath, still unsure about finding out the truth, "So-Sodapop Curtis."

"When did the accident occur?"

Steve thought for a moment, "Maybe close to a couple weeks ago. His brothers are still in the hospital, I'm a little lost on what day it is."

"Alright, just a minute," the officer got up from his seat to go look at the files.

Steve turned to Soda, "Okay Soda, last time I was here they couldn't tell me much of anything, because I wasn't family or part of the accident. You might have to prepare yourself to read it if they make a big deal over that."

Soda nodded, "I think I should read it anyway. I should probably see the truth to actually believe it."

"Alright boys," the officer sat back down with some papers, "Is there anything specific you're looking for?"

"Well," Steve began, "There seems to be some confusion on what really happened that night. My friend here and his older brother can't seem to remember who was driving the truck and how the accident happened."

The officer looked over a couple of papers, "Well, it looks like it was just that, an accident. No other vehicle was involved, no alcohol or drugs at play. It was difficult to determine what exactly caused it since 2 of the victims weren't conscious and the other couldn't comprehend what was happening at the time. When officers arrived, the one that wasn't unconscious was out of the truck, wandering around yelling for help. It was determined Darrel Curtis was driving."

Soda looked down to the floor. Steve tried hiding his happiness and relief of that information. "Does it say if Sodapop blacked out, or what was he saying when the police questioned him about the accident?"

"It isn't really known if he blacked out since he was up and moving around when officers arrived. And they didn't get a clear story out of Sodapop until they were at the hospital. Even there he seemed pretty out of it though, so officers tried their best to put the scenario together themselves."

Steve nodded and looked at Soda, "Do you remember what you told the police had happened?"

Soda shook his head, "I barely remember that night anymore."

"There may be some shock," the office added in, "But, it's a closed investigation, so time may be the factor in when you'll remember. There's also a chance you won't remember, your mind may just block out the trauma. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

Steve shook his head, "No. Thank you."

* * *

Steve and Soda drove to the hospital next. Soda felt more than just lost. Everything that had replayed in his mind from the accident turned out to be a lie. Even the details of before the accident weren't playing right since Soda swore he was the one that got behind the wheel to begin with. He felt like he had to reprocess his brain's memory, but how does one even do that? How do you convince your own brain that it is wrong? That seemed impossible. Soda felt as though his own mind was to be forever stuck in a false state. He had no idea how he was going to move forward with that.

Steve found a spot to park and looked over at Soda. "How are you feeling?"

"I don't know Steve," Soda began rubbing at his temple, "I guess I have to accept that Darry was driving, but...I just don't remember it like that. It's worrying me what my brain is making up. I don't even remember walking around the road. I thought I was like...tossed out of the truck and just landed in the street or something. I can't even try to remember any of that, I seriously remember being behind the wheel. I remember the truck crashing and me holding onto the wheel while it crashed. Why do I remember it like that? Why is my mind doing that?"

Steve put a hand on Soda's shoulder, "Soda, look, we don't have to piece everything together. That might just be impossible to do at this point. We got the important answer we needed, let's just focus on that for now." Soda was silent as he looked out the windshield towards the dull, grey building. "Unfortunately, like your question about how the body can't handle a simple task, I don't have much more answers."

Soda nodded, knowing Steve may be right and he may just be defeated at this point, "Okay. Let's go say hi to Darry and then I want to check on Ponyboy."

The boys made their way upstairs and entered Darry's room. "Hey guys," Darry greeted, "Good news, I was able to do more walking today."

"That's awesome," Soda smiled, "I can't wait to have you come home."

"I'm ready to get out of here," Darry groaned.

"Hey, I wanted to go check in on Pony before we really visit, okay?" Soda asked.

"Yeah, yeah. Go ahead," Darry said.

"So, you're really getting up there, huh Superman?" Steve asked as Soda left the room.

Darry nodded, "Thank God too. I am sick of being in here."

"No kidding."

"The only good thing about being stuck here is I am next to Ponyboy. If I don't hear anything going on, then I know it's all good still."

"Well, before Soda gets back, I'll tell you we went to the police station and confirmed you were the one driving," Steve announced.

Darry nodded, not seeming that surprised that he knew his memory served correct, "How did Soda take that?"

"He seems to have accepted it, but he does also seem nervous as to why his mind is telling him differently and why he can't remember right. I don't blame him."

"Maybe he should go talk to someone," Darry suggested.

"I was thinking the same thing," Steve agreed, "I don't think we'll ever get answers on what exactly happened after the accident, what Soda did or anything like that."

"That's alright, maybe it's better he doesn't remember."

* * *

"Hey Pony," Soda said sitting down next to his little brother, "I am really anxious for you to wake up. I know nothing is keeping you asleep now, so all I can think about is you finally waking up." The familiar beeping sound echoed through the room. It helped reassure Soda that a heart was beating, lungs were breathing, and a body was healing. "Darry is doing really good. He's getting stronger, so he may be able to come home soon. That'd be great..." Soda trailed off as tears came to his eyes. "It'd be great..." he choked, "But I still need you to come home too. It won't be complete until you're home." Soda got up and leaned in to kiss Ponyboy's forehead. "I love you."

Soda pulled himself together as he walked back over to Darry's room. As he opened the door, Steve was right there at the doorway.

"Oh," Steve said nervously, "I was about to come get you." Soda looked further in and saw the doctor.

"What's going on?" Soda asked. His nerves began to rise, not thinking the doctor in there was a good sign.

"Take a seat," the doctor said, "I just want to discuss something with you both."

As Soda took a seat next to Darry, Steve asked, "Should I leave?"

"No, please stay," Soda asked, "Is that okay Darry?"

"Of course," Darry said motioning for Steve to come next to them. Steve walked over and stood behind Soda. He placed his hands upon Soda's shoulders and held on tight, preparing for the worst.

"Alright, well we've continued monitoring Ponyboy. It's hard to tell what will exactly happen until he wakes up, but we're concerned about his brain," the doctor said.

"What about it?" Darry asked.

"He may have brain damage," the doctor said.

Soda gasped and Steve tightened his grip on him. He rubbed down on Soda's shoulders, trying to get him to not panic quite yet. His eyes shut tight as he thought to himself, 'Damn, we are so close.'

"What does that mean exactly?" Darry asked.

"As I said, it is hard to know until he actually wakes up and until something happens," the doctor went on, "But, there is a higher chance the brain damage could be significant. He may need aid for the rest of his life."

"Aid with what?" Darry asked.

"Anything. Everything. His brain activity has diminished greatly. He may not be able to talk right, or walk right, or really be able to do anything."

Steve prepared to have to push Soda down, but was surprised when he didn't move.

Darry put a hand to his mouth and muttered, "Damn."

"Just remember, we won't know anything for sure yet," the doctor gathered himself as he turned to go towards the door, "I'll give you a minute to process this."

The three boys were silent for what seemed like a long time. Steve half expected Soda to jump up and leave the room, but he stayed in his chair. In fact, Steve felt Soda's shoulders relax as they sank down.

"What are you thinking, Soda?" Steve asked.

Darry looked over at Soda as well. He could tell his little brother was in deep thought. "What's on your mind, little buddy?"

Soda kept thinking for a minute. "Well, I..."

Steve walked over to Darry's bed and sat on the edge of it in front of Soda. "Go ahead," Steve said grabbing his best friend's hand.

Soda stayed quiet, and looked between Darry and Steve. "This might sound bad..."

"No, no, Soda," Steve assured him, "Just say whatever you're feeling."

Soda sat himself up. As he began to speak, he spoke with a confidence he hadn't had in a while, "As long as Ponyboy gets to come home, I don't care."


	23. Chapter 23

Later that day, back at the Curtis house, Steve wanted to make sure Soda wasn't just in shock from the earlier conversation with the doctor. Darry hadn't said much after the news from the doctor. He had just seemed deep in thought and appeared to be trying to process it all, as if he was already planning how to adjust his life for his youngest brother. Soda had appeared calm, but just too calm. Soda's statement about just wanting Pony home made sense, but Steve couldn't tell if Soda really understood what the doctor was saying about Ponyboy's condition. Steve wondered if Soda didn't think it was okay to be upset about any condition Pony could be coming home in. He was just suppose to be grateful Pony could come home.

"What are you doing out here?"

Soda looked up from his place in the backyard. Steve was leaning against the porch railing. "I don't know. Just getting some fresh air, just thinking."

"Just thinking about what the doctor said today?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, a little bit."

Steve made his way down the porch steps and into the yard. He watched as Soda slowly walked around and run his hand along some of the bushes. Steve couldn't tell if maybe Soda was processing everything, trying to accept what his life could come to be, or what else he could possibly be thinking. "I was going to ask you if you really caught all that the doctor said today?"

Soda nodded, "Yeah, of course I did. I was right there, I heard every single word, and I knew what every word meant." Steve could already tell he was catching Soda on the edge with the questions. He couldn't blame him. They had gotten the truth about the truck part after Steve had asked a thousand questions about that. The last thing Soda would want is for Steve to think his mind wasn't going to process anything else correctly. "I heard exactly what the doctor said," Soda continued, "I'm not going to wake up tomorrow and remember it differently."

"Soda, that's not what I'm saying..."

Soda took a deep breath to calm himself, "Okay, then what would you like to say?" He didn't really feel like talking to Steve, or anyone else really. But he figured Steve wouldn't leave him alone, so his only choice was to let him say whatever he felt he had to say.

"Do you know how much your life would change if Ponyboy comes home with brain damage?"

Soda stopped in his tracks, but kept his back to Steve, "_When _Pony comes home."

"Sorry," Steve put his hands up in defense, "When Ponyboy comes home, do you understand how your life will change? You and Darry will be taking care of Pony around the clock. You both won't be able to even work at the same time, because one of you will always need to be here with him. And I'm not saying the gang wouldn't try to help or nothing, but one of you would still always need to be home. And what if his mind is all screwy too? What if he doesn't...you know, what if he isn't acting his age anymore? You guys would be taking care of a toddler the rest of your lives. A toddler who never grows up and never can learn to do anything on their own."

Soda turned to face Steve. He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Why are you telling me this Steve?"

"I am just trying to help you really, _really _understand what the doctor was trying to tell you and Darry," Steve explained, "You're not wrong in wanting Pony to come home no matter what, but I don't think you're mentally prepared."

"And what am I suppose to say to all of that?"

"I..."

"Actually, what do you _want_ me to say? I'd rather Pony not come home, because I can't handle it? You don't think I can handle it? You don't want to be around to help me handle it?" Soda spread his arms wide waiting for an answer.

"Soda, stop," Steve said. This conversation was going all wrong. Each of Soda's questions felt like a jab in the stomach, "Just stop, please."

"No, just tell me the truth. What do you want to hear from me?" Soda demanded.

Steve scratched at his temple, feeling his throat get tight, "Nothing." He turned to go back towards the house. He couldn't hear anymore.

"I will do whatever it takes to get Pony home," Soda said towards Steve's back, "No matter how bad off he may seem!"

Steve hurried into the house, unable to handle anymore. He walked through the kitchen, hoping Soda wasn't following him. Alone time was what he needed right now. He had to get his mind together and possibly think of a new strategy with Soda. He wasn't even confident his own mind had processed everything. Entering the living room, Steve found that Two-Bit and Dally had let themselves in and were goofing off.

"Oh hey Steve," Dally greeted.

Steve found himself in a position where he couldn't pretend to be in a decent mood. He couldn't talk to anyone right now. He didn't respond as he hurried upstairs.

"Steve, what's going on?" Two-Bit asked, but within seconds the two greasers heard a door slam shut.

Steve fell onto the bed and began crying into the pillow. He wasn't trying to hurt Soda's feelings, he wasn't trying to get him worked up, and he wasn't trying to give Soda the idea he didn't trust his brain to handle anything. Steve just wanted Soda to see the reality of what the doctor was explaining to them. How could Soda accuse him of not wanting to help? Of course Steve would be there for Soda, no matter what. He just didn't think the truth behind it all was hitting Soda. If Steve could get Soda to understand what could really be coming his way, it might be an easier transition for him and for everyone else.

"Steve?"

"Go away Two-Bit," Steve snapped. He rubbed at his eyes to get any hint of tears to disappear, because deep down he knew Two-Bit wasn't leaving.

"Nope," Two-Bit responded, "But I'll stay right here if you want." Steve turned a little and saw Two-Bit staying at the doorway. "Or I can come give you a hug if you want," Two-Bit laughed.

Steve groaned as he sat up on the bed, his back facing Two-Bit, "Two-Bit, we heard some crazy news...and I don't think Soda gets it completely."

"What news?" Two-Bit asked going from joking to concern.

Steve took a deep breath as he let out, "Ponyboy is probably going to have brain damage if he ever wakes up." Two-Bit didn't respond right away. Steve stared out the window as he waited, using all his strength to not lose it again. He was surprised that talking about Pony's brain damage made him feel weak and wanting to cry again. It wasn't just the idea of what it could do to Soda either. Steve truly didn't want to see that happen to Ponyboy. Imagining watching Pony go through life like that hurt Steve, but he wasn't going to let that on right now.

"Wh-What does that mean?" Two-Bit asked with a nervous tone.

"The doctor couldn't really say what it means. We won't know until Ponyboy actually wakes up. He could need help for the rest of his life though. He may not walk or be able to do anything himself," Steve rubbed at his eyes as he explained the situation.

"How did Soda react?"

"He said he didn't care," Steve shrugged, "He said it doesn't matter as long as Pony can come home."

"What about Darry?"

"He really didn't say anything. I think he was shocked by the news and then shocked by Soda's reaction, I was too. And just now I tried talking to Soda about it, I told him I don't think the reality of the news has actually hit him. He doesn't understand how much his life is really going to change. I don't know, he got mad at me and I'm...I'm just worried, Two-Bit. I'm really scared what this could do to him."

Two-Bit had a long moment of silence. Steve kept his stare out the window, trying to figure out what to do. He was stuck this time. Without knowing Ponyboy's condition for sure, there wasn't much that could be done.

"Gee Steve, I...I really don't know what to do with this," Two-Bit finally said, "I don't know what to tell you to do. Hell, I don't know how to talk to Soda about it."

"I don't know either," Steve shook his head, "I think Soda also got upset, because we found out the truth about the accident, so me questioning if he understood what the doctor said is like me...checking on his mind I guess."

"Yeah, probably. I know you have the best intention in mind though."

"Hey guys," Dally said as he approached the doorway.

"What's up?" Two-Bit asked.

"Darry's on the phone asking for Steve."

Steve sighed, "Damnit, now what?"

"Don't get worked up yet. Maybe he's just checking up on Soda," Two-Bit suggested.

"For the love of God, please, please let that be all," Steve said with some annoyance.

Steve was always surprised how quick he could get himself together when it meant showing his face to the gang. He got off the bed, and headed downstairs to the phone. Two-Bit and Dally followed and stayed close enough to listen to Steve's end of the conversation.

"Hey Darry, what's going on?...are you okay?...wh-what? slow...no...no...are you sure?...damnit, I can't believe this, this is just...this is bullshit Darry...so what does that mean now?...okay, okay...do you want me to bring Soda there or just wait until tomorrow?...I got you...no, no, I'll be fine, we'll all be fine...yeah, see you later, call us if anything else...yeah, later." Steve slowly hung up the phone to disconnect the call before lifting the receiver to slam it down a couple more times.

"Steve?" Two-Bit asked, "What happened?"


	24. Chapter 24

"No, no, no." Soda began backing up away. He walked in while Steve, Dally, and Two-Bit surrounded the phone. He could feel the tension immediately. Steve told him the news straight up. "That can't be. Ev-Ev-Everything was going good. It was going right!"

"Soda, we don't know anything..." Two-Bit began saying.

"Everything was going right! Why is this happening?" Soda yelled, "I said he can come home no matter what! I don't care if he needs help to walk or to eat or to do fucking anything!"

"Okay, okay, let's go for a walk," Two-Bit decided to make the immediate decision to get Soda out of the house, knowing no one was going to verbally be able to calm him down right now. He gently grabbed Soda by the arm and began leading him to the front door.

"I don't care how he is, he just has to come home! I don't understand! I don't get it!"

"Just hold on, let's go walk for a minute," Two-Bit said as he lead a crying Soda out the door.

When the silence hit the house, Dally and Steve just looked at each other.

"This isn't good, is it?" Dally asked, "What else did Darry say?"

Steve took a long sigh, "Nothing else. Just that Ponyboy had another seizure."

* * *

"I have to go see him, I have to go see Ponyboy," Soda begged. Two-Bit had walked Soda to the park, and he was attempting to keep up with the panicking Soda as he walked all over the place.

"I'm sure we can go," Two-Bit assured, "But you definitely can't go like this. You need to get yourself together first. Darry can't be worrying about you like this."

"Two-Bit, this wasn't suppose to happen."

"I know Soda, I know."

"Why is it happening?" Soda demanded, "Why? He doesn't deserve this!"

"You're right he doesn't, but I don't have answers for you on why it's happening. We have to keep our hopes up. I know it's easier said than done, but you just have to. You can yell and you can cry, but you can't let your hope fall."

Soda sat down onto the grass and wiped at his tear-stained face, "It's hard. It's getting too hard."

Two-Bit sat down, joining Soda, "I know it is. I know you probably just want to give up, but you can't do that. You have to stay strong. We are all here to help you stay strong." Soda didn't say anymore. He let the last bit of tears fall as he took some deep breaths. His heart was aching. His mind was racing. He felt his faith fading.

A car pulled up to the park. It was Steve and Dally. Without any words, Two-Bit and Soda got up and walked over. They both went to each side of the car and climbed in the back. No one said anything as Steve pulled away from the park. Soda didn't even have to ask, he already knew they were going to the hospital.

No one said a word the whole car ride. Steve could hear Soda attempting to hide his crying in the back. He knew there were no words to stop the crying. There were no magic words to release the pain his best friend was carrying. The greasers had no idea what they could be walking into. Earlier that day, they were told Pony could be a handicapped mess, and now he had a seizure.

Steve pulled into the parking lot, and the group walked inside. Steve kept his arm around Soda, being his rock, while Dally and Two-Bit walked ahead of them. Leaning over, Steve spoke low to Soda, "You got this buddy. You got this. Be strong."

As they entered the oldest greaser's room, Darry looked like the rug was pulled right from under him. He didn't look like the strong man that was going to make everything okay. That worried Steve, knowing Soda had probably hoped he could depend on Darry's guidance through this. Darry had gotten the news first though and he was clearly still processing it.

"Hey Darry," Two-Bit greeted.

Soda hurried over and nearly landed onto Darry. Wrapping his arms around his little brother, Darry looked like he had to hold back his own tears.

"Darry what happened?" Soda sobbed into Darry's chest.

Darry took a deep breath, "I don't know. Johnny actually came by to see Pony and a seizure happened while he was in there."

"Damnit," Dally threw his head back and looked at the ceiling. He couldn't imagine what Johnny was thinking or feeling right now. "Do you know where Johnny went?" Darry shook his head. "Well, I'm going to go find that kid then. Fuck."

"Good deal. Go check on him," Two-Bit said. Everyone said their goodbyes as Dally left the room in a huff.

"Soda," Darry lifted Soda slightly off his chest, "Why don't you go see Pony?"

Soda shook a little, "I don't know if I can. I can't watch another seizure."

"I think he's stable little buddy, just go see him," Darry said. Soda was scared to, but he listened to Darry as he got up and walked next door.

There was a couple minutes of silence before Steve spoke up. "There's more isn't there?"

* * *

Soda didn't say anything to Pony right away. He felt his heart slow down, as if he was preparing for a seizure to start. Fear was overcoming him, but he went back to Steve's words to him. _You got this. Be strong. _

"Be strong," Soda repeated to himself, "Just be strong."

Soda brought air into his lungs, feeling them expand as far as they'd go. He counted to five and let the air slowly empty out of his lungs. _Be strong._

"Oh Pony, what's going on?" Soda asked. He felt a lump in his throat as he looked at his little brother. _You got this._ "Why did this happen?" Soda couldn't help as tears rolled down his face. _Be strong, be strong, be strong._ "I don't understand what's going on. I'm scared to ask what's going on. I'm scared to find anything out. I just want to have faith, but is that even enough?" Soda got up and walked around the room. "I feel so...overwhelmed about you and my questions. My chest feels so tight, like a lot is going on in there and I can't keep up with my own body." Soda walked over to the window and looked outside. "I can't keep up with all of this."

_Be strong._

* * *

It was a quiet drive back home. Steve and Two-Bit had small talk that didn't relate to the day's events, but Soda didn't let out a single word. When they arrived at the house, Soda went straight upstairs to his room. Steve and Two-Bit didn't want to bother him. They went into the kitchen and grabbed a couple of beers.

"Hope Dally found Johnny," Two-Bit said.

Steve nodded, "I'm sure he did. I hope he's okay. Soda shouldn't have ever seen a seizure. Johnny shouldn't have seen one either."

"I'm sure Johnny got a little fucked up from seeing that," Two-Bit added.

"I know," Steve said quietly, "Are you going to be heading home?"

Two-Bit shrugged, "Do you want me to stay? Do you think Soda will have trouble tonight?"

Steve looked down to the floor, "I'll give him one of my pills. You can go home if you want. I have a feeling we'll be going back to the hospital early."

"Just to visit for Soda's sake?"

"Yeah," Steve responded, "I don't think they are going to try putting Pony back to sleep again. He had the one seizure and they are just letting things continue on."

Two-Bit shuffled uneasily, "Do you think the seizures have something to do with the brain damage?"

"I don't know. I'm sure they can. It's one of those things that we won't know the answer to, we may never know for sure if that's what caused anything."

"Damn," Two-Bit muttered, "Do you want me to meet you at the hospital tomorrow?"

Steve shook his head, "You don't have to."

"Alright, well call me if you need anything?"

Steve nodded, "Thanks Two-Bit."

As Two-Bit left the house, Steve went upstairs and into the bedroom. He found Soda laying on the bed, his shoulders shaking with his face buried into the pillow. Walking inside, Steve took a seat on the bed and placed a hand on Soda's back. He continued to shake as he let the pillow soak his tears. "Soda? Come on buddy," Steve said, "I know this is a lot."

"I wish I could have just stayed there," Soda turned his head to speak, "Darry could use me there. Being there alone can't be helping him."

"I know buddy, I know. I'm going to let you have my medicine tonight to just get you through the night. We'll go back in the morning, okay?"

Soda slowly nodded, not arguing against any aid to help the night go faster. He swallowed a pill and got himself under the covers. "As I was talking to Pony, I kept remembering what you told me. Just to be staying strong. It helped me get through talking to him some."

"I'm glad."

Soda reached over and took a hold of Steve's hand, "Thank you Steve. I know I've probably said it a lot, but thank you for not just flaking out on me. I don't know where I'd be right now without you."

Steve squeezed against Soda's grip, "I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

As Steve expected, he wasn't going to get sleep that night. He was okay with that though. With how much had happened in the short amount of time, he didn't think his medicine would help him get much sleep anyway. As soon as Soda fell into a deep slumber, Steve got up and went downstairs. He grabbed a beer and went out to the backyard. Feeling the cool air, Steve picked up the basketball and began shooting hoops.

As much as everyone was telling Soda to keep the faith in the situation, Steve could feel his own faith sliding away. Nothing seemed to be approving. The conversation between Steve and Darry while Soda was with Pony wasn't a hopeful one. Darry didn't have much to say. He didn't seem to know what he was thinking or how he was feeling. It worried Steve. Darry couldn't be losing hope, because Soda needed him to be his reassurance that things were going to be heading upward someday.

When Steve felt himself getting a little tired from the basketball, he went back to sit on the porch. He took more swigs of his beer as the light breeze blew across his face. As soothing as it was, he felt the anxiety fill his heart.

Looking up at the night sky, Steve felt tears come to his eyes. "Why is this happening?" he asked, "Why can't things just be okay?"

Steve couldn't fight anymore as the tears flowed down and he began to cry. "I don't know how much more I can handle." The more words he spoke, the more pain he began to feel in his heart, and the harder he cried. He told Soda he wasn't going anywhere and he was wanting Soda to be strong, but Steve could feel himself become weak.

"I can't do this anymore."

* * *

Soda and Steve headed to the hospital first thing the next morning. Steve never went to bed, but he wasn't feeling too anxious since he cried so much. It had felt good to cry like that though.

"I want to go see Pony first," Soda said as they entered the hospital.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Steve asked.

Soda shook his head, "No, you can go hang out with Darry." Steve felt a little relief in his heart that Soda was feeling brave enough to go see Ponyboy himself.

Keeping his head up and having a hopeful mindset, Soda walked into Ponyboy's room. He took a seat and grabbed his little brother's hand.

"Hey Pony. I feel like apologizing for yesterday. I was not in a good place, and I really shouldn't have visited you. I was desperate to see you, but I don't think I should have the way my brain was. You scared me though...you scared all of us. You had another seizure and I still have no idea what to think of that. Is it a bad sign? Is it a big deal or am I overreacting to it? We were told you could have brain damage and could need help the rest of your life," Soda went on and squeezed Pony's hand, "But I just want you to know that I don't care what damage you could have. You come home, and nothing will change between us."

* * *

"How is he doing?"

"He seems okay actually," Steve replied to Darry, "Better than I was last night."

With that comment, Darry knew he should check in on Steve's state as well. "Well how are you doing?"

Steve shrugged, "I don't know. I did kind of lose it last night."

"You probably needed it."

Steve nodded, "It did feel good to let it all out. I..."

Before Steve could finish, there was a sudden commotion outside the room.

"What is going on?" Darry asked.

"I don't know," Steve said as he got up and peeked out the door. The door to Pony's room was open, doctors going in and Soda coming out. A loud, still beep echoed from the room.


	25. Chapter 25

"Ponyboy," Soda squeezed his little brother's hand, "I'll stay by you. I'm going to keep fighting for you. I love you so much."

In that instant, the machines next to Pony gave off uneven beeps, and alarming sounds. Soda tensed up as he was expecting a seizure was about to happen, but Pony's body lay still. The beeps became faster. Soda watched as the squiggly lines coming out on the paper jumped all over the place. The noise began taking over the room. As scared as Soda felt, he refused to to let go of Ponyboy's hand. He fought the anxiety that tried to take over him.

"I'm not going anywhere," Soda said keeping his eyes on his little brother, "I'm going to keep fighting."

Pony's body continued to lay still. Not even a flinch as the beeps became uncontrollably fast.

"Pony?" Soda asked, wanting him to give him some sign.

Soda watched his little brother remain still as the fast beeps turned into one steady, ongoing beep.

Soda's mouth hung open as he waited for something else, anything else to happen, "P-Ponyboy? Ponyboy?" Soda shook the hand that was still attached to him. He wanted Pony to squeeze him back. He felt his own heart stop.

Within seconds, doctors and nurses were rushing into the room. One of the nurses grabbed Soda and pulled him out of the room. "You need to leave right now," was all she said as she closed the door, leaving Soda out of the room.

"Soda?"

Soda looked over and saw Steve closing Darry's door behind him. Steve grabbed Soda by the arms and took him away from the rooms. "Soda?" Soda didn't respond as he stared at Ponyboy's room. "Soda, talk to me."

"Something's wrong," Soda's shaky voice said.

"Soda..."

"No Steve, something is very, very wrong," Soda desperately tried to get back to Pony's room. Steve pulled Soda into his arms and held on tight.

"Soda, just stay here," Steve softly said. He led Soda into a chair and sat next to him. He watched his best friend get teary-eyed and look desperately towards his little brother's room, begging for an answer or reassurance. Unfortunately, Steve knew what outcome he was going to have to prepare for.

* * *

_There was a couple minutes of silence before Steve spoke up. "There's more isn't there?"_

_Darry looked between Steve and Two-Bit. Tears formed in his eyes. "It's not good. It's not good at all. Everything went wrong. It's all bad." Darry took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "It's over."_

_"What?" Two-Bit asked._

_"The doctor came and talked to me after Ponyboy's...Ponyboy's...seizure," Darry was becoming choked on his own tears, "He said it was only fair to bring to my attention that I should prepare to...to..." Darry brought his hands over his face and began to cry harder._

* * *

The loud noise coming from Pony's closed door was not changing. It was continuously going. It seemed to go forever. Steve kept his grip on Soda's hands trying to wait patiently for it to end. A lump began to form in his throat, but he tried hard to remain under control. He had to be there for Soda.

* * *

_"Mr. Curtis," the doctor put a hand on Darry's shoulder, "I should be honest and fair with you. This last seizure did some significant damage. I think you need to prepare for the outcome that Ponyboy won't be coming home with you."_

_"What..." Darry stared towards the wall that separated his room from Pony's, "What are you saying?"_

_The doctor looked Darry in the eyes, "There is a more than not chance he may not make it."_

* * *

Darry looked up at the ceiling. He wanted that noise to stop. He wanted to run away and get out of that room, so he didn't have to listen to it. Aware of what was happening just at the other side of the wall, he begged to be able to run in there and fix it, to save him. Tears began streaming down his face, and he grabbed the pillow and put it over his face to cover his ears.

"Please stop," he pleaded into the pillow, "Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!" He began hyperventilating, unable to control himself. This was something his big muscles couldn't fix. His strength wouldn't force his youngest brother's organs to work the correct way.

* * *

_The nurse helped Darry into a wheelchair and brought him over to Ponyboy's room. Darry, unable to bear the news he had received, grabbed Pony's hand into his own and placed it on his heart._

_"Pony," Darry said softly, "I am so sorry. The doctor doesn't think I'll be able to take you..." Darry couldn't finish as he lost it and began crying, tears flowing down to his hospital gown. "Ponyboy, I love you so much. I am so sorry I caused this. I am sorry you don't get to live life to the fullest." Darry sobbed as he placed Pony's pale hand against his lips. "I don't know what else to say. I'll make sure Soda comes to see you. I love you Ponyboy." Darry didn't say anything else. He sat there, holding Pony's hand. The only noise being the steady beeps. The memories poured into Darry's head. Some made him cry, and some made him laugh. The last memory that came to him was that night._

* * *

_They had finished their pizza and were heading home. Pony was in the passenger seat, turned around looking at Soda. They were laughing as they were joking about what to spend the money from Darry's raise on._

_"Now I can really start saving up for a car!" Soda said proudly._

_"Let's get a motorcycle," Pony commented._

_"What?" Darry grinned, "Since when have you wanted a motorcycle?"_

_"It'd be fun!" Pony said._

_"Uh that will be something to discuss," Darry chuckled._

_"Darry, maybe you can save some aside for college," Pony suggested._

_Darry smiled, "That's nice of you to think of little buddy, but that's just not in my cards right now."_

_"Why?"_

_"We'd just be better off saving up for you," Darry explained._

_Pony scratched at the back of his head, "You deserve something too Darry."_

* * *

_Darry's cry became hard and vocal as Pony's words replayed in his head. He breathed through the crying as he heard the door reopen. Turning, Darry said to the nurse, "I have to make a phone call please." Darry gave Pony's hand a squeeze and a long kiss. He slowly stood up, used the bed for support as he kissed Pony's hair. "God why?" Darry choked through his crying. He sat back down in his chair and gripped the armrests hard. As the nurse turned the wheelchair towards the door, Darry looked back at his little brother, "I'll see you again someday little buddy."_

* * *

The noise stopped. Soda tried getting up, but Steve held him back. "Soda," Steve said with a shaky voice. He hadn't meant to have started softly crying, but the emotions were getting to him. "It's going to be okay, Soda," Steve whispered to himself, "It's going to be okay." The doctors and nurses slowly filed out of the room. One of the doctors walked over into Darry's room.

"What is he telling him?" Soda asked. He looked at Steve and noticed his watery eyes. "Steve? What is it?"

Steve quickly wiped at his eyes and cleared his throat. He whispered again, "It's going to be okay."

When the doctor exited Darry's room, he walked over to Steve and Soda. The boys stood up and Steve kept a tight grip on Soda's hand.

"Hello Sodapop," the doctor said.

"What is it? Is Pony okay?" Soda asked with quivering lips.

* * *

_"Steve?"_

_"Yeah?" Steve asked._

_"Please get Soda back here early tomorrow morning. I want him to spend as much time left with Pony," Darry said wiping at his eyes, "But I don't want to tell him what's going to happen. He's on thin ice enough as it is."_

_Steve nodded, "If that's what you want, I won't tell him."_

* * *

The doctor took a deep sigh, "I'm sorry son. Ponyboy didn't make it."

Soda's mouth fell open, "What do you mean? What does 'didn't make it' mean? Steve, what is he talking about?"

Steve forced his tears back as he waved the doctor away. "Soda," Steve looked Soda in the eyes, "Ponyboy...he's gone."

"Gone how?" Soda asked.

Steve took a deep breath, "He's passed on, Soda. He's not with us anymore."

"Steve, what does that mean?" Soda cried, "I know you don't mean what I think, so tell me something else. What is it?"

Steve knew he'd have to just straight out say it, even though it was killing him to say it. "Ponyboy...he died."

Soda tried to back away, but Steve wouldn't let go. "Let me go!" Soda tugged back and freed his hands from Steve. "No!" Soda screamed, "No, Steve! You're lying! No!"

"Soda," Steve felt the tears fall down his cheeks, "Ponyboy's body couldn't handle it anymore. He's...he's not in pain or having to deal with a useless body."

Soda collapsed to the floor, slammed his head into the ground, and began bawling. He lifted his fists and punched at the floor. "No! He was strong Steve! I didn't care if he had a useless body, he was suppose to come home!" Steve got down and put himself around his best friend. He didn't say anything. He let Soda scream, cry, and say whatever he had to say.

Suddenly, Soda shot up, causing Steve to fall back to the floor. "Soda..." Steve got up from the floor.

"Just don't say anything," Soda wiped at his eyes. He looked around the waiting area, at the desk, at Darry's door, and at Ponyboy's door. "Ponyboy..." Steve tried to reach for Soda, but he backed away. "I need to get out of here."

"Wait Soda..."

"Don't follow me! I'm going home! I just want to go to sleep and not wake up to this! I'm going to bed and never getting up!" Soda yelled and turned away.

Steve watched as his best friend ran off.

* * *

After taking a moment to calm down and decide whether to follow Soda or not, Steve decided to stay put. He knew it was probably best for Soda to go home and try to process. He didn't want to just strand Darry alone either. Steve slowly walked into Darry's room and closed the door behind him. Darry looked up at Steve with tears rolling down. "He left," Steve simply said.

Darry looked out the window and let the cries out. Steve walked over and put his arms around Darry, letting his own tears escape.

"You guys will be okay," Steve choked out, "You'll be okay."

The two greasers just sat there and cried together. Darry grabbed onto Steve's arm and held tight, bawling into his chest. Steve took deep breaths to try and keep himself calm, but he couldn't help to cry into Darry's hair.

* * *

Time passed. Steve and Darry stayed together in silence. Darry would cry, then he'd lay back into his pillow, stare out the window, and cry again. Steve would hold Darry, cry with him, pace around the room, and go be there for Darry again. They didn't say a word to each other. Steve wanted to give Soda as much alone time as he could, knowing anything he tried to do or say right now was pointless.

At one moment while Darry was laying back with his eyes closed, and Steve was looking out the window, the door softly opened and closed.

"Hey." Steve knew his face looked like a disaster, but he turned anyway and saw Two-Bit.

"Hi," Steve sniffled.

"It happened?" Two-Bit asked looking over at Darry.

Steve nodded, "Yeah."

"How's he doing?"

Steve shrugged, "We've been crying for a couple of hours now. He passed himself out."

Two-Bit's eyes got watery, but he tried to keep them under control. "How, um..." Two-Bit looked towards the wall and cleared his throat, "How are you?"

Steve backed to the corner and sat in a chair. He took a deep breath, "I'm fine."

Two-Bit watched as Steve's leg began bouncing up and down. "Really?"

Steve looked down to the floor. After a couple hours worth of crying, Steve thought he'd be dried out. Shaking his head, he replied, "I'm a mess." Two-Bit walked over and pulled Steve into his arms. They both lost it, but kept their cries as soft as they could to not wake Darry. "Two-Bit, why did this have to happen? Darry doesn't deserve this, Soda doesn't deserve this. Ponyboy had so much more to live for, more than any of us."

Two-Bit wiped at his eyes, "Well, maybe he was meant to do something more on the other side."

Steve shook his head, "It's not fair."

Two-Bit thought for a minute, "I want to tell you something Steve, and it's because I don't think you'll hear it from Darry or Soda while they are going through all of this. But you need to hear it."

"What?" Steve choked, "What could I possibly need to hear right now?"

Two-Bit got down to his knees and looked up at Steve. "On behalf of of Darry and Soda, just thank you for all you have done. You've been there for them this entire time and I know it's only about to get harder, so thank you for all you've done. I'm going to be by you the rest of the way, because you'll need it, they'll both need all of us."

"Thanks Two-Bit," Steve nodded, "Really."

"Let's go grab something to drink while he rests," Two-Bit stood up. Steve followed Two-Bit down to the cafe and grabbed a couple coffees. "So, where's Soda?" Two-Bit asked as he poured milk into his coffee.

"He left," Steve simple answered, "I figured it was probably best to just let him be alone. Nothing I said was going to calm him down or anything."

"Do you think he just went home?" Two-Bit asked.

"I mean, I think so. Maybe he walked the whole way, maybe he caught a bus or a ride with someone," Steve said, "I really don't know. I couldn't just ditch Darry though, he can't just leave and get away from here like we all can."

"No, no, I think you're right," Two-Bit agreed, "You had to stay here for Darry and I think Soda needed to be away from everyone. I think you handled it fine."

Steve took a sip, letting the hot liquid soothe his throat. It was becoming raw from the crying. "I'll have to head out to go find him soon," Steve said.

"That's a good idea. I can stay with Darry."

"Actually, I think you'll need to find Dally or Johnny," Steve suggested.

"I can do that," Two-Bit nodded.

"Soda did say he wanted to just sleep, so even if he walked, he's probably made it home and is in bed by now."

Two-Bit thought for a minute, "He said he wanted to sleep?"

Steve nodded, "He said he wanted to sleep and not wake up to this."

Two-Bit took another drink of his coffee, but then his eyes suddenly widened, "He said that? Those exact words?"

"Yeah," Steve shrugged, "I don't blame him. I'd hope to wake up and find out it was all a dream too. Unfortunately he won't."

"No, Steve," Two-Bit put his cup down, "I might be overthinking his words, but he said it like that? He didn't want to wake up?"

"Yeah, what are you getting at?"

"Steve," Two-Bit put a hand on Steve's shoulder, "Your pills."


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: Hey readers! If any of you have a minute to spare, please go to my profile and take a poll at the top of it. Thank you :)

* * *

His heart collapsed. It fell and just shattered. He stopped breathing. There was physical pain within him without a cause. He could feel vomit fly up to his throat. The way Two-Bit's words lingered through his ears and to his brain made his entire body shut down.

_Your pills!_

"Oh my God, Two-Bit!" Steve threw his hands on top of his head, "I have to go now!" There was no stopping to think or come up with other possible explanations. Steve just had to go and he took off for the exit. Two-Bit put things together for Steve, and he felt completely stupid for it.

"I'm coming with you!" Two-Bit began running behind Steve. He couldn't let Steve go by himself. If he drove, he'd for sure get pulled over from speeding or reckless driving. As reasonable as it'd be, the police wouldn't give Steve much sympathy. As they approached the car, Two-Bit grabbed Steve. "Let...me drive," Two-Bit said out of breath.

"Two-Bit, there's no time..."

"Steve, you are not in good shape to drive! You'll crash! Just give them to me!" Two-Bit demanded.

Steve knew he didn't have time to argue, even if it was over his driving skills. He shoved the keys at Two-Bit and got in the passenger seat. Two-Bit started up the car with shaky hands and got out of the parking lot.

"How Two-Bit?" Steve said in a panicky voice, "How did I not catch what he was saying! I'm so fucking stupid!" Steve slammed his fist against the dashboard. He was enraged with himself. If he could, he would beat the shit out of himself. He let his guard down to be vulnerable, and something horrible could be happening because of it.

"You were shocked by something terrible that just happened. You weren't thinking straight."

"That's the problem! I should have been thinking. I should have been paying attention. I shouldn't have let what happened get to me," Steve gripped his hair and pulled.

"You've have to be heartless to not react to what just happened, Steve. You were crying with me, and crying with Darry. It was expected of you to get effected by this just as much as everyone else," Two-Bit explained, "I know you like to put on this idea that you're made of stone, but you're not!"

Steve felt the tears rush down as he began to panic, "It's been a couple hours though. He could have already done something. He's already done it. Oh my God Two-Bit, he's already done it! Darry will never forgive me! I'll never forgive myself!"

"You don't know that!" Two-Bit barked, "Now stop, damnit! Keep yourself together!"

Steve leaned forward and cried into his hands, "I can't believe I let this happen." Steve felt completely helpless. The vulnerability that he was feeling was too much. He was out of control of what they could be walking into, but he should have been in control the entire time. All he had promised Soda was that be would be there for him. He was going to keep Soda going and be the strength he needed. Steve felt that he had broken that promise. Just a couple hours ago, Soda was lower than rock bottom and didn't want to go on with his life without his little brother, and Steve hadn't given him the strength and courage he needed to keep going. Steve opened the opportunity door to give up, and Soda walked right through it. Everything Steve had done for Soda throughout all of this was about to go to waste. Steve began crying hard, on the verge of hyperventilating, when he realized he failed Soda. Steve had to admit he had failed his best friend.

* * *

Before Two-Bit could get the car in park, Steve threw the passenger door open, hurried up the porch, and ran inside the Curtis house. Two-Bit could have ran over Steve's foot trying to park, and Steve wouldn't have cared. "Soda!" Steve called out as the door swung open. No one was in the living room, but he did spot Soda's shoes on the couch. "Fuck!" He ran upstairs skipping steps. The first door was Soda and Pony's room. He looked inside, but saw no one. His heart began pounding. Across the hall was Soda's old room. No one. He felt beads of sweat starting to form.

Looking down the hall at the rest of the doors, Steve saw the bathroom door was closed. He slammed his fist against the door, "Soda!" No answer. "Damnit, Soda! Open the door!" He tried jiggling the handle, but it was locked. "Soda! Please, if you're in there," Steve tried yelling, but the tears were forcing him to choke out his words, "J-Just open the door." There was still silence.

Adrenaline kicked in as Steve backed up against the wall. He got his foot ready, and kicked at the door.

"Steve?" Two-Bit called from downstairs, "What are you doing?"

Taking a breath and realigning himself, Steve lifted his foot and took another kick. The door slightly budged open. Steve used all his force to push against the door, feeling it fall forward as it broke open. Steve looked in and saw Soda sitting on the side of the bathtub. He was holding Steve's pill bottle and had one hand on the cap. "I can't get this stupid bottle open!" Soda cried. Steve launched forward. He put one arm around Soda and grabbed the bottle with the other hand. "No, Steve! No!" Soda yelled. Steve wouldn't budge. He already messed up, and nothing was going to make him let go of the bottle. He fought until Soda's grip finally gave in and let go. The cap broke off and the pills flew everywhere. There was silence for a second, the only sound being the clinging of the pills onto the floor.

"Why!" Soda cried at Steve, "Why would you do that to me?" Steve pulled Soda against him, and held on tight. He knew Soda was screaming, but he wasn't hearing anything he was saying. All he was focused on was the grace of some force that had miraculously been on his side.

Two-Bit was at the doorway by then and watched the two greasers slowly fall to the floor, Steve refusing to let go even as Soda tried fighting him off. Looking up towards the ceiling, Two-Bit whispered, "God, please. Please."

Steve and Soda just stayed on the floor and cried together. Two-Bit stayed at the doorway just waiting. He refused to look at the pills on the bathroom floor, the ones that could have caused more damage if they were another minute late.

* * *

Steve sat on the bed, watching his best friend sleep. It took a long time to get out of the bathroom, and then some more time to get Soda to relax in bed. He didn't say anything as he lay in bed. Only soft cries and whispered apologies escaped his trembling lips. At one point, Steve almost believed Soda wasn't sure where he was or what had just happened. Steve couldn't believe what almost happened either. It wasn't until he watched Soda's still, sleeping body that the deep realization hit him. He could have lost Soda. Darry could have lost Soda. For good. Steve knew Soda hadn't been thinking straight, and he may not be for a while.

Getting up, Steve walked out of the room with his head hung low. He quietly closed the door, and leaned his head against it. This entire time, all he had done was make promises to Soda. He failed him.

Steve quietly patted the door a couple of times and turned to walk to the bathroom. Looking at the door, Steve knew it wasn't going to shut correctly, but the hingest were still attached at least. Two-Bit was on the floor trying to gather the pills.

Sighing, Steve swung his hand up, "What are you doing man?"

"Just cleaning," Two-Bit said putting a couple of pills in the bottle.

Steve looked at the remaining pills on the floor and shook his head, "Just toss them."

"Steve, I can't just do that."

"I should have never let Soda take them in the first place," Steve covered his mouth, feeling sick, "I should have never told him about them or about my problem. It almost..."

"Just go downstairs Steve, I'll take care of this, alright?"

Steve turned away, and walked down the hall. He was thankful Two-Bit was picking up the pills, because Steve knew he wouldn't be able to do that right now. He wouldn't have minded if Two-Bit did throw them away though, because he wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to look at them again.

* * *

After Two-Bit had cleaned up, he headed out to find Dally and Johnny. They weren't sure if the news had gotten around yet, but they were hoping Dally and Johnny would hear it from them first. Steve couldn't talk to anyone else at the moment. He was done with the day.

When Two-Bit returned to the Curtis house, he had Johnny with him. "Hey," Steve greeted as he started organizing the living room, "Where's Dally?"

Two-Bit had his arm around Johnny as he responded, "He told me to just bring Johnny here and he was going to go out. So, I guess it's us here tonight." Steve looked up and down at Johnny. He could barely look at his face. There didn't seem to be any evidence of tears, but it looked like his world had been destroyed. His face said he wasn't believing anything he was told, that it was just a cruel joke. Johnny simply walked through the living room and headed for the back door.

"Did you call Darry?" Two-Bit asked as Johnny stepped outside.

"Yeah," Steve nodded.

"Did you tell him what happened?"

"Of course not," Steve shook his head.

Two-Bit sighed, "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Two-Bit, I'm not about to tell Darry what his little brother tried to do after his other little brother is already..." Steve stopped and continued cleaning around the living room.

"Alright, I can dig it for now," Two-Bit ran a hand down his hair and neck, "So what are we going to do about this?"

Steve shrugged, "Just keep an eye on him."

"You don't want to take him to a doctor or something?"

"I don't know yet. I'm not sure if he'll actually try it again. He may wake up and be a little calmer. Besides, if I put him in the hospital, Darry will obviously find out."

"Steve."

Steve looked up, "What?"

"This is serious. This can't be something you handle yourself."

"I'm not saying that."

"Like hell you aren't," Two-Bit snapped, "I'm not going to let this one slide as something you'll take care of. No one else worry about it."

"Can we please just get through today first?" Steve asked with an irritating tone, "Can we please just get 1 day into Ponyboy being gone? Can we please just get some grieving time in before we jump into something else? Can I please stop getting asked how I'm going to help Soda through yet another obstacle we didn't ask for, damnit!" Steve threw the dishes he was holding, letting them slam onto the ground, some chipping and some breaking, "I do not have an answer to everything."

Steve fell back into the armchair and let his head fall into his hands. It had only been six hours or so since this all began. But it was feeling like days, weeks, or even months. Steve felt like he couldn't catch up with it all. He looked at the dishes on the floor, the little bits of glass that flew to the rug, and the mess of food that had gone from the plates to the floor. Steve didn't cry though. He stared at everything in anger, but tears streamed down his face. His lips didn't even quiver. The tears just went down his face without any sort of crying.

Two-Bit walked over and put a hand on Steve's shoulder. "I'm sorry Steve. I didn't mean to get on your case."

Steve shook his head, "Why couldn't he have just come home?"

Two-Bit bit his lip as his vision became blurry from tears, "I-I don't know man."

"Why can't he be here right now? Why can't he be right on the couch saying 'Why did you throw those dishes on the floor?' or 'Why do you have to be so mad all the time?'" Steve wiped his eyes, "Why can't he be here asking me a thousand questions about something and getting on my nerves?"

Two-Bit couldn't help, but chuckle, "You really going to miss all of that, huh?"

"I'll take it everyday for the rest of my life over what I'm feeling right now."

Two-Bit pulled Steve into a hug.


	27. Chapter 27

The next morning, the greasers got a phone call that Darry could return home. He still had a long road of recovery, but the doctor felt it was a better idea for him to go home to grieve on Ponyboy's passing. It would help the process, and help the physical recovery with that healthy grieving. Steve felt that bit of a good news was what the house needed. He had a feeling in his gut though that things weren't about to get easier.

Steve walked upstairs with a bowl of soup and some water. It felt like forever since he arrived to the Curtis house in a panic, desperately trying to reach his best friend. Now, he was feeling more grateful every time he saw Soda. It may have been always seeing Soda in bed, but at least it wasn't not seeing him at all. Steve was also taking many opportunities to check on his pills, to make sure they weren't touched. He still wanted to just throw them away, unsure if he'd ever be able to look at them the same, but Two-Bit kept him from making too drastic of a decision. Arriving at the bedroom door, Steve softly knocked and entered the room.

"Hey," he greeted. Soda continued to just lay in bed, back facing the door, looking out the window. Steve walked around the bed and placed the bowl and water on the side table. "Made you something to eat." Soda's eyes were opened, but he didn't seem awake. He just stared right past Steve. Looking down at the bed, Steve thought of the irony that Soda originally moved into the room to help Pony sleep, and now he would probably want to move out after everything that had taken place yesterday.

"You know, if it's hard to be in here, I can clean up your old room and get that bed made up." Soda's eyes shifted to looking at the floor. "Well, I can get it cleaned up anyway just in case. Then you can decide what you want to do."

Steve sat down on the edge of the bed, "I got some good news though. They are letting Darry come home today. They, um...don't want to keep him at the hospital while he...well...go-goes through e-everything. So I'm going to go get him." Steve scratched his head as he waited for a response, but Soda didn't even show a hint of emotion towards the news. "Do you want to come with?" Still nothing. "Alright, try and eat please. I'm going to get Darry out of there alright?"

Without a word in return, Steve got up and walked towards the door. As he placed his hand on the door, he turned and looked at his best friend. He didn't know what to expect to happen next once Darry got home. He honestly wasn't going to expect Darry to be much different. Closing the door behind him, Steve looked up towards the ceiling, "As long as you're still here, buddy."

* * *

"Okay, I'm going to get Darry," Steve slipped on his shoes and grabbed his keys by the front door. He was feeling the excitement come over him to finally get Darry home. It had felt like a long time since he had originally moved in to help Soda.

"Are you sure you don't want help?" Two-Bit asked, "We can get Soda out of bed to come with us if you want me there."

"No, just stay here with Soda. I'll be fine. Where's Johnny?"

"Out back smoking," Two-Bit looked down, "He hasn't said much since I brought him here last night."

"Yeah well, Soda ain't much different," Steve shrugged.

"Alright, well call if you need any help. I'll drag Soda out of here so he isn't alone," Two-Bit said.

"Okay, be back soon," Steve closed the door behind him. He stopped before proceeding down the porch steps. He just looked at his car that sat in the driveway. Remembering that night, the night the accident happened, and he first parked his car there. It was late, he was tired, and Soda was exhausted. He carried a bad inside that was filled with clothes, unsure how long he'd have to stay. Now, in about an hour, he'd be pulling up with Darry in the car. Darry would be exhausted. He'd walk slowly into the house, just like Soda had walked into it that night, like it wasn't really their home. And it wasn't going to feel like home, because someone was missing from it.

The drive to the hospital felt long. Steve was depending on his inner conscious to take in the road signs, as his mind was too busy racing. The realization was coming over him that this would be the last drive to the hospital. Darry still didn't know what had taken place last night, and Steve still didn't plan to tell him. He managed to convince himself that Soda hadn't actually done anything. He didn't take any of the pills. If he had gotten the bottle open, maybe he still wouldn't have gone through with it. There was no telling Soda was going to go through with it. He was just caught at an odd timing. He could have changed his mind. Even with those convincing thoughts, Steve didn't feel comfortable leaving Soda alone. He just hoped he wouldn't have to explain to Darry why.

* * *

Out on the back porch, Johnny took the last drag that was on his cigarette. He had smoked a lot in the last twelve hours. He could feel himself coughing too much, but there wasn't enough nicotine to relax him. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Ponyboy having the seizure. Every time he opened his eyes, he saw the realization of never seeing Ponyboy again. Unable to handle the quietness outside, being alone in his thoughts, he tossed the cigarette down and stepped on it hard.

Johnny walked back inside the house and took a seat on the couch. He had stayed quiet to himself, expecting to wake up any moment from this nightmare he was in. If he didn't acknowledge it too much, maybe a different reality would come out. Part of Johnny's brain was poking it's way through though. The truth kept peeking out. His best friend was gone. That's what he was told. That's what he was living right now. He didn't want to accept that, he couldn't accept that. He kept repeating to himself that it wasn't the truth. Ponyboy was asleep. He was just healing like he had been this entire time. Everyone else thought he was gone, but Johnny knew better. Johnny knew there wasn't a chance he was just gone. He was too young. His body was too strong to just give up. He was a greaser. He was too strong.

* * *

Steve slowly entered Darry's hospital room. He was out of his hospital gown and in a t-shirt with sweats. That was a nice image for Steve to walk into. He almost looked himself. He sat on the edge of his bed, back towards the door, hanging his head low. When he heard the click of the door closing, he turned to look at Steve.

"Hey," Steve said only taking a couple of steps into the room.

"Is Soda not with you?" Darry asked.

Steve shook his head, "He's just been in bed. I wasn't going to try and make a big deal of it. Just wanted to get you out of here."

Darry nodded and stood himself up, "I just want to get out of here."

Steve picked up Darry's bag and held the door open for him. Darry still had a weak limp to his walk, but he was looking good. As they exited the room, Darry turned and looked at the room that was next to his. The room that had held his little brother. The door was no longer close, holding the privacy of a patient. It wasn't keeping everything out from the outside world, and holding silence inside to help a body heal. The door was now wide open. It was emptied and it had been cleaned up. The body that had been in that room was now gone. It had been transferred elsewhere. It was never to be attached to machines again, it was never to be helped to breathe again, or to help the heart beat. It wasn't because the body gave up. Darry truly believed his little brother's body would have never healed to it's potential to move on through life. His body needed to be put to rest.

Darry felt the tears sting in his eyes. He wasn't taking his little brother out of that room to bring home today. Someone else took his little brother out of that room. Someone took his little brother somewhere unknown. He wasn't to be seen walking again or talking again. He wasn't coming back.

_"You deserve something too Darry."_

He was never coming back.

* * *

Two-Bit returned downstairs from checking on Soda. He attempted starting any conversation, but Soda was staying quiet. Two-Bit didn't bother pushing too hard, knowing it was probably better to let Soda have his time. He didn't want to push his friend to try anything stupid again.

"Hey Johnny," he said taking a seat in the armchair, "Steve went to go get Darry."

Johnny nodded, looking up at the TV.

"Are you doing okay, kid? I know none of us really are, but...I want to make sure you're doing alright."

Johnny shrugged, "I don't know if it's real."

Two-Bit nodded, "Alright." He wasn't sure if he was suppose to take that conversation much further. He knew Soda and Johnny's minds were going to be shooting in all sorts of directions, and he didn't want to try and redirect them right now. If Johnny was in denial at the moment, there was no use fighting with him. Two-Bit would just have to let that work itself out for now.

* * *

Steve and Darry were driving back. It was a silent ride. Steve didn't have the energy to say much. He didn't sleep last night. He was unable to get himself to take any of his pills, knowing what they could have cost him.

"Steve," Darry began, "You've done a lot for us. You don't have to stay the night if you don't want to. You can go back home and get some rest. I'm sure you need it."

Steve shook his head, "Darry, all I'll do is sit in bed all night thinking about you guys. I'll be worrying about you guys. You need the gang. I'm not going anywhere. I can guarantee Johnny isn't going anywhere either. Two-Bit will probably stay too. Hell knows where Dally is."

"Alright, I ain't going to fight you on it."

"No use doing that, Superman."

They pulled up the driveway and headed inside. Two-Bit and Johnny were still on the couch, eyes glued to the television box.

"Hey Dar," Two-Bit greeted as he stood up, "Here, sit down." Darry limped over and slowly lowered himself into his armchair.

"Does it feel good to be back in that again?" Steve asked.

Darry sighed, not even a grin crossing his face, "Yeah."

Steve patted Darry's shoulder, "I'll go tell Soda you're home."

Picking up his bag, Steve headed upstairs. He set the bag down in the hallway as he entered Soda's room. "Hey buddy. Darry's downstairs, if you want to come down."

Steve watched as Soda's shoulder raised and lowered evenly. He walked over and saw Soda was sound asleep. Turning around, Steve walked out of the room and quietly shut the door.

"He's asleep," Steve commented as he got back downstairs.

"He needs it," Darry said.

"Do you need anything?" Two-Bit asked.

Darry thought for a moment, "I need one thing, but I don't want you to take it the wrong way."

"Sure, what is it?" Two-Bit asked.

"Do you guys mind leaving me alone for awhile?" Darry asked looking down to the floor, "Just go out for a couple hours or something?"

Steve didn't like the idea of leaving the brothers alone, "Are you sure, Darry? I don't know if that's..."

"Yes," Darry interrupted, "You don't need to worry. This is just...a lot right now. And if Soda is asleep, then I want to take advantage of just being alone for a bit. Please."

Two-Bit grabbed Johnny by the arm and gently lifted him to his feet, "Come on buddy. Let's go find Dally."

As the two left the house, Steve just looked at Darry. He knew Darry wasn't well. He was going to get hit hard by Pony not being there, and Steve was worried how he would react to that. "Darry, I just..."

"Steve," Darry looked up, "I promise I'm okay. I'm not okay, but I'm okay. I just need to be alone. Please." Steve watched as Darry's eyes welled up. "Just give me an hour at least. Please."

Steve bit his lip in hesitation, but began walking to the front door. "I'll be back soon."

Darry kept his eyes forward as Steve's body disappeared behind the chair. He patiently waited for the right moment. He heard the front door creek open. It took a minute for it to close, as Darry pictured Steve looking back at him, making his final decision to leave. The moment Darry heard it click shut, he let the tears fall.


	28. Chapter 28

Steve drove straight home. As concerned as he was to leave Soda behind, he wanted to give Darry his space. There was nothing he could say or do right now anyway. Steve walked into his bedroom and looked at his bed. It had been quite some time since he had slept in it, and it sure looked comfortable. He figured his dad must have cleaned the sheets as the bed was made up nicely. "Figures he doesn't worry where I've been all this time, he just worries about cleaning up my room," Steve smirked. He didn't have the energy for another thought as he slammed himself onto the bed and fell asleep.

* * *

Soda heard Darry arrive home and Steve leave. He didn't move from his spot. The agony he was feeling was weighing him down, not giving in to let him sit up. It felt too physically painful to move anything. He was too exhausted to think. Darry didn't come upstairs. Soda wasn't sure if he had expected him to, but he was okay with him not coming. He hadn't seen Darry since it all happened yesterday, and he didn't want to know how he had handled the news. Imagining what Darry had been doing in the hospital since yesterday hurt Soda's heart. He honestly wasn't sure if he could bear to see Darry right now.

* * *

Darry sat in his armchair for awhile. He couldn't stop crying. Every time he looked around the living room, towards the kitchen, and at the stairs, he lost it just thinking about Pony not walking around the house anymore. The tears were pouring without control. He was sure he didn't even cry this much when his parents died. This was a whole different thing though. At least to Darry it was. He knew his other little brother was upstairs, but he didn't come down. That didn't worry Darry though. This was something he couldn't rush Soda, or even himself, to face head on. He knew this wasn't anything they'd be talking about anytime soon.

* * *

When Steve awoke, he felt a little rested, but achy. That was partially because he had fallen asleep in a weird position, and partially because some stress was beginning to lift. He lifted his head, wiped the drool that was at the side of his mouth, and sat himself up. He twisted and stretched, popping his neck and back. Taking a minute, Steve was trying to remember what was going on. Darry was home now, and Pony was still gone. The reality of it all made Steve's heart sink. Getting up from the bed, he made his way downstairs to get some water.

As he drank in the liquid, he thought about what to do next. Something was telling him not to go back to the Curtis house yet. There was a somewhat relaxing feeling that Soda was okay, at least not trying to do what he did yesterday. He couldn't even try to imagine what Darry and Soda could be doing right now. As far as Steve knew, they both could still be where he had left them. Steve didn't want to stay home by himself either. He didn't want to let his mind wander too much. He settled on driving to find the rest of the gang, and seeing where everyone was at with everything.

Steve grabbed a bottle of Pepsi out of his fridge and got into his car. The sky wasn't too bright as the day was slowly going by. He pulled up to Buck's place, already having a good sense where Dally was.

Walking up to Buck's, Steve walked on in. There were quite a few greasers in there, but it wasn't loud or rowdy with the night crowd not hitting yet. Those who were there were just hanging out and shooting some billiards. Listening in, he wasn't hearing any small talk about the Curtis family. Steve found Dally sitting at the bar, a cigarette in hand.

"Hey," Steve said taking a seat next to Dally.

"Hi," Dally said without looking up.

"I was looking for you."

"You found me."

"How long have you been here?" Dally just shrugged.

"I was going to go get Two-Bit and Johnny and we could all go to the park or something, I don't know. I think we all could use some time together."

Dally took an inhale of his cigarette, "Where's Soda?"

"Home. Darry was able to come home today, and I'm just leaving them be right now. But come on, I think you should come with me."

Steve had expected Dally to argue going with him, but was surprised when he stood up to leave. "Alright, let's go."

* * *

Next, Steve stopped at Two-Bit's house. They saw Two-Bit and Johnny smoking outside. Steve was actually relieved to see Johnny was still with Two-Bit. Second to Soda, Johnny did not need to be left alone right now. Steve put his car into park as Two-Bit nodded at them.

"I don't know if I can help him," Dally suddenly said.

Steve looked at Dally, "What? Help who?"

"Johnny man," Dally said looking down at his lap.

Steve leaned back in the driver's seat. He knew Dally wouldn't be one to admit he was hurting from the passing. He'd be too busy getting Johnny through it. Steve knew Dally would be just fine with that too, letting Johnny be his distraction. "Dal, I'm not getting us together for just Johnny. I'm getting us all together, because we all need it. We all need to be here for each other." Dally didn't respond as Steve continued on. "If anything, I'm trying to take your advice, and Two-Bit's. I'm trying not to be so invincible about all of this. I'm not going to let you all be stones with all of this. We all need to have our time to grieve before we can really be there for Darry and Soda, and even Johnny." When Steve still didn't get a response, he stepped out of the car and walked up to Two-Bit and Johnny.

"Hey," Two-Bit greeted, flicking his ashes.

"Hey, how you guys holding up?" Steve asked.

"Okay," Johnny simple responded.

Steve put his hands in his pockets, "Well, I found Dally. I think we owe it to each other to just go to the park and be together."

"So everyone can see tuff greasers bawling in the park?" Two-Bit grinned.

Steve chuckled, "Well we can take our bawling out on anyone who says anything."

The three greasers got into the car and drove to the park. The idea of what could possibly happen out in the open didn't seem to be anyone's concern at the moment. Not even Dally's. Steve had no idea what he was planning to do as they walked through the grassy field. He didn't know if he was going to say anything.

The four of them just stood around, each lighting a cigarette. No one said anything. No one looked at each other.

"Well," Two-Bit spoke up, "No need to avoid the elephant in the room. Times are about to become...pretty hard. Things won't be easy for awhile."

Steve nodded, "Going over to Soda's ain't going to be the same anymore."

"Do..." Johnny began taking a quick drag, "Do you guys think the gang will ever be the same?"

Dally walked closer to Johnny and put an arm around him, "Of course Johnnycake."

"This can only bring us closer and make us stronger," Two-Bit said, "We're just going through a bump in the road. A big bump."

Johnny looked down towards the ground. He felt himself get a little weak, so he sat down on the grass. He tossed his cigarette and began picking at the grass. He knew his friends were right. This wouldn't tear them apart, but how long would it take to get used to the new norm? The rest of the gang joined Johnny on the ground, no one saying anything. Everyone was sitting in their own thoughts.

Turning up from the grass, Johnny looked at the playground. There were countless times him and Ponyboy would hang out at the playground, because a lot of the usual greaser hangouts just weren't their scene. In fact, the playground was the last place Johnny saw Ponyboy awake and well.

* * *

_"Do you want to go to the movies tonight?" Johnny asked, "I bet Two-Bit or Steve will drive us."_

_"I can't," Pony said hanging upside down off the monkey bars, "Darry is taking me and Soda out to dinner. He got that promotion."_

_"That big one?" Johnny asked taking a seat on the swing._

_"Yeah," Pony flipped to the ground, "It's a big deal too. He's going really far at work. We won't be living so strictly paycheck to paycheck."_

_"That's awesome man. What do you think he's going to use the extra money for?"_

_Pony sat on the swing next to Johnny, "I don't know. Darry will probably save some, start buying some extra things like food. Soda will probably want a car."_

_"What about you?"_

_"What about me?" Pony asked._

_"What would you do with the money?"_

_Pony shook his head, "It's not my money. I can't decide what it goes to."_

_"Darry might want to do something special for you. It's just fun to think about," Johnny said, "What would you say if Darry asked what you'd want to save some money aside for?"_

_Pony thought for a minute, "First, I'd want him to save up to go to school. Even if it's just some classes at a community college, just something. He deserves it. But for myself, a motorcycle."_

* * *

Johnny couldn't help, but smile at the memory. He didn't expect Pony to say he wanted a motorcycle. It made Johnny laugh out loud as a couple tears slid down his cheeks. He kept his eyes on the swings, thankful no one asked about the random laugh he let out.

* * *

_"You? On a motorcycle?" Johnny laughed._

_"It'd be tuff," Pony grinned._

_"I just never knew you had thought about a motorcycle," Johnny looked up at the sky, "No one in the gang really has I guess."_

_"Do you think Steve would know how to fix one up?"_

_Johnny shrugged, "I don't know. I bet he could figure it out if he doesn't."_

* * *

Remembering that part of the conversation, Johnny looked over at Steve. He was picking at the grass with one hand, a burning cigarette he seemed to have forgotten about in the other. "Hey Steve," Johnny said quietly.

Steve looked up, "Yeah?"

"Would you know how to fix up a motorcycle?"

Steve slightly nodded, not seeming to care about the random question, "I've worked on a couple."

Johnny looked down, and then back over at the swings. He quietly said to himself, "He could have, Pony."

* * *

_"Well, I better be going home. You should come over tomorrow." Pony said jumping off the swing._

_"Sounds like a plan. I'll see you later man."_

* * *

Johnny felt the tears come down at a rapid pace. He had no idea he wasn't going to see Pony...that tomorrow...or ever again.

Two-Bit took little drags off his cigarette as he was scanning the grass area. He felt his heart skip a beat as he landed his eyes on a large tree in the middle of the park.

* * *

_"Hey Pony, I bet you can't climb higher than me!" Two-Bit laughed as he stumbled towards the tree._

_"Come on Two-Bit, it's getting late. Darry is probably wondering where we are," Pony followed Two-Bit with his hands shoved in his jacket pockets, "Figures I should have found someone else to go to the drive-in with."_

_"Are you scared?" Two-Bit mocked as he slid his leather jacket off and tossed it to the ground._

_Pony shook his head, "It's too dark, Two-Bit. And you're drunk. You ain't going to see what you're doing."_

_Two-Bit grabbed the lowest branch and lifted himself up, "I've done dangerouser things drunk. Come on Pony! Live a little!"_

_Pony watched as Two-Bit climbed up a couple more branches. Clearly, he wasn't going to get home without doing what Two-Bit wanted. "Dangerouser isn't a word," Pony grinned as he slid his jacket off._

_"Well I made it one," Two-Bit slurred, "Now hurry your ass up." Pony sighed as he grabbed the branch and pulled himself up. He hoped just climbing two or three branches would satisfy Two-Bit, but he was in for a fight. "Let's go!" Two-Bit hollered, "You got to get moving or we'll be here until morning."_

_"Good grief," Pony muttered as he continued to climb. He was ready to watch Two-Bit fall on his ass, but at least he'd get a good laugh out of it. After a lot of pulling, tugging, grunting, and laughter, the boys made it close to the top of the tree. "Okay, we did our climbing," Pony said a little out of breath, "Can we go now?"_

_"Slow down," Two-Bit pushed some branches aside, "Look up."_

_Pony looked through the leaves and became in awe of what he was looking at, "Wow."_

_"It's a whole different view from up here, huh?" Two-Bit said._

_"The stars...they seem so close," Pony commented. He thought about how many times Two-Bit must have climbed the tree, and then one night found the way the stars looked, and thought to show him. _

_"They really do," Two-Bit looked at Pony, "You should see it when you're drunk."_

* * *

Two-Bit smiled at the memory. There had been countless other times him and Pony would climb that tree. He asked Pony once if he ever went by himself, but he had said no. He only climbed it with Two-Bit. 'Too bad you never saw it drunk, kid,' Two-Bit thought to himself.

Dally lit another cigarette. He kept glancing over at Johnny, who was still looking towards the playground.

* * *

_"Alright now pay attention kid, I'm going to show you the fastest way to do this," Dally said, "This will get you out of any messy shit you could get into, especially with Socs."_

_"Okay," Pony said, slightly nervous, "You know I wouldn't get in trouble with the Socs on purpose."_

_"You don't have to start anything for them to want to cause problems," Dally said. He reached in his back pocket and pulled out his blade. Pony grabbed his blade from his pocket. "So, if they ever walk up on you, just get your hand on your blade right away. Always keep it in your back pocket, that's going to give you the best grip to fly it out."_

_Pony nodded, "Okay."_

_"You make sure you got your finger there," Dally showed him, "So as soon as you take it out the blade pops out, got it? The Socs ain't going to give you mercy, so speed and keeping your cool is going to be your best weapon."_

_"Alright," Pony said._

_"Then when the moment is right, and you'll know when, you just pull it out fast and let the blade come out. You have to be fast, otherwise you're going to cut yourself if the blade is at the wrong angle," Dally said, "Now put it away and try it out."_

_Pony slid his blade back in his pocket. He did as Dally told him, letting the blade fly out. "Wow, that really worked," Pony grinned._

_"Darry and Soda may not like the idea of you carrying a blade, but it will be a lifesaver, I promise you."_

* * *

Dally closed his eyes and let out a breath. 'Not the right lifesaver apparently,' he thought to himself.

Steve pulled his legs up, rested his arms on his knees, and lowered his head. He just stared at the grass.

* * *

_"Soda, does he really have to come along? He's just a kid."_

_"We're going to a drag race, I doubt you'd like it."_

_"Stop your complaining kid! You don't even understand all Darry and Soda are doing for you!"_

_"This isn't a night for kids to tag along."_

_"Kid, use your damn head!"_

_"You walk home alone that late at night again, I will punch your head in! Is it that hard to call me for a ride?"_

_"I am so sick of you bumming a cigarette off me. Darry is sick of you bumming cigarettes off everyone. Soda is sick of you bumming cigarettes. Take a damn hint."_

_"No, you can't come with. It's not for you."_

_"This isn't a place for you, kid."_

* * *

Steve felt tears stinging his eyes. He always cared for Ponyboy. He truly did. There was hidden meaning in his words, they were caring words, but with a tough tone. Steve didn't know how else to show care towards others.

* * *

_"Do you always have to be so hard on him?" Soda asked as he got in Steve's car, ready to leave the work day, "Pony thinks you hate him."_

_"Why the hell does he think that?" Steve grunted as he started his car._

_Soda's mouth fell open, thinking his best friend couldn't be that blind, "Do you hear how you talk to him sometimes?"_

_"You know I don't hate him."_

_"I know you don't, Steve, but you can't blame him for how he hears what you say. I don't like that he thinks you hate him or don't care about him."_

_"Then side with me, Soda!" Steve barked, "You know damn well half the places we are going really ain't for him, but you don't want to hurt his feelings by telling him why. He wouldn't enjoy it and you know it. He just wants to go, because he thinks that's what all greasers do. But you know he's better than that. I'm just the only one willing to say it."_

_Soda looked at Steve, "Can you just try and be gentler with how you say things to him? Please?"_

_Steve rolled his eyes, "Sure, I can try."_

_"Thanks," Soda smiled._

* * *

Steve could kick himself. He didn't start talking gentler that evening when they had returned from work. He didn't talk gentler the next day, or the next day, or the next month. Hell, that conversation could have been a year ago for all Steve knew. The softer tone didn't come out until Pony was in a coma, and there was a chance Pony didn't get to hear it at all. Suddenly, Steve shot up from the ground and walked away from the other three. Two-Bit got up and followed after him.

"Steve?"

"How did he never understand?" Steve asked.

"What? Who?" Two-Bit asked.

"Pony. He never understood my intentions."

Two-Bit looked confused, "I'm not sure where you're getting at Steve."

"Soda always told me I was too hard on Pony. I talked too rough to him and shit. And Pony thought I hated him. But I wasn't hard on him, because I hated him or because I didn't want him around me and Soda. Everyone may have thought that, but I did not hate Ponyboy."

"Steve, no one thought..."

"I cared about that kid!" Steve yelled, "I fucking cared about him, because Soda cared so much about him. I didn't want Pony coming out with us, because he had bigger things for him. He didn't need to get into drinking, fighting, drag racing, or other dumb shit that is getting the rest of us nowhere." Steve let the tears fall as the words spilled out. "I was looking out for him, Two-Bit. I don't have the softest voice like Soda, but I looked out for him just the same. I cared, Two-Bit...I cared."

Two-Bit pulled Steve into an embrace, feeling his own tears begin to fall, "Shh Steve. Don't go blaming yourself for anything now. We all knew you cared. And you know what? I think deep down, Pony knew you cared too. I think he knew."

Steve began bawling into Two-Bit's shoulders, "I hope he could hear us talk while he was in his coma. At least then he got to hear me talk different to him."

"I'm sure he felt it, Steve," Two-Bit looked up at the sky, "You can't hold onto this though. You can't think about this stuff, because he's gone now. You aren't going to get closure wondering what if you had done something. You will have to let those burdens go."

Steve took a deep breath, trying to calm his cries, "How?"

Two-Bit let go of Steve as he thought for a moment. He held his hand out. "Let me see your pack of cigarettes." Steve shuffled in his back pocket and handed the pack over. "Come on." Two-Bit began walking towards the sidewalk. Steve didn't know what he was doing, but he followed behind. Two-Bit sat down and Steve sat next to him. He watched as Two-Bit took out the remaining cigarettes, seven of them. "My mom did something like this when I kept asking questions about my dad leaving. I kept wondering if I was to blame. I kept wanting closure from him, but I obviously wasn't going to get it. So, she had me write down all my questions and things I wondered on pieces of paper. So, we have seven sticks here. So, what are seven things you have to say to Pony as if he were sitting here with us right now?"

Steve thought for a moment, "I'm not sure."

"Just anything you would have wanted to say," Two-Bit said, "What if he asked you about why he couldn't go to drag races with you and Soda?"

Steve bit his lip, "He's too smart for it."

Two-Bit handed Steve one cigarette, "Then my mom had me tear each piece of paper in half." Steve gripped the cigarette and looked at Two-Bit. "Go ahead. Break it."

For a minute, Steve just stared at the cigarette.

"Think about what you just said. Pony, you were too smart to get involved in drag racing. You wish you could have said that to him, instead of just telling him 'no, you aren't coming with.' You can't let that sit on your shoulders though for the rest of your life. Now break it."

Steve closed his eyes as he broke the cigarette in half.

"Now, the point is to never put that burden on yourself again. It's not easy, but you're going to have to remember this and remind yourself. Don't think about how you lost the chance to tell him why he couldn't go drag racing. Don't think about how you could have done things differently. Now, what's another thing? Anything."

Steve opened his eyes and thought for a minute, "I yelled at you to use your head, because it was your gift to use it. I didn't want you to waste it, that's all."

"Break it," Two-Bit handed Steve the second one. Steve broke it, and put it in the grass with the first broken one.

Steve took a deep breath as Two-Bit gave him a third one, "I yelled at you for bumming cigarettes off me, because you shouldn't have been smoking at all. You only started, because you saw me and Dal do it one day. You were too smart for that." The third cigarette was broken.

Grabbing the fourth one, Steve went on, "I'm sorry I called you a tag along kid a lot. You were Soda's little brother, so I did want to have alone time with Soda. I wanted to hang out with him. That's all." Steve broke the fourth one.

"I yelled at you for walking alone all the time, because I don't know what I would have done if you had gotten jumped. I would have given you a ride anytime you needed it." Before Steve broke the fifth one, he added, "I'm sorry you didn't think I would have done that for you."

The sixth one. "I yelled at you about Darry and Soda, because you didn't understand what they gave up for you. They cared so much for your future, and I wanted to get that through your head. Any of us would have sacrificed for you, because we all knew where you could have gone in life." He blinked the tears away as he broke it.

Steve grabbed the last one and closed his eyes tight. "I yelled, because I cared. I'm sorry I didn't make it clear that I cared. I'm sorry you only thought of me hating you, but that was far from the truth. I'm sorry I didn't start talking to you the way I should have until you were in this mess. I'm sorry you may not have had the chance to hear it. Soda was the gentler one towards you, while I was the tougher one, and I'm sorry you took it the wrong way. You were Soda's little brother, so you were my little brother too. I loved you kid."

Letting out a breath, Steve opened his eyes, letting the tears escape. He broke the last cigarette and placed it in the pile.

"Now pick up the halves," Two-Bit said.

Steve pushed his lips together, holding back any crying as he picked up the broken halves.

"Go drop them in that sewer. And as you drop them, just let all those burdens go." Steve slowly stood up and walked into the street, standing above the sewer.

* * *

Dally grabbed Johnny by the arm and pulled him over, holding him close. "What are you thinking about?"

Johnny sighed, "The last time Pony and I hung out was on those swings. We were just talking."

"I taught Pony how to handle a blade here," Dally sighed.

"I know. He told me."

"I remember telling him that it would save his life one day," Dally trailed off to pull himself together, "I was wrong."

"You didn't know," Johnny said.

Dally shook his head, "That kid didn't deserve this."

"No one would have."

"No, it's bullshit," Dally said as his anger began to rise, "He was the one greaser who was going to go places. He could leave Tulsa and go do something big. So why did he deserve to fucking die?"

Johnny laid his head against Dally, "Don't get mad Dal, not right now, please."

Dally bit his lip and let his shoulders drop, "I'm sorry Johnny. I'm here for whatever you need kid."

* * *

Steve looked at the broken cigarettes that lay in his hands. He closed his eyes.

"Ponyboy, I am sorry it's too late for me to change things," Steve swallowed hard, "But I have to let that go."

Moving his hands apart, Steve watched the pieces fall into the sewer. His burdens and worries, dropping away. He felt his knees get weak as he bent down and cried. He could barely breathe as he bawled towards the ground. Hands gently lay onto his shoulders.

"It'll be okay," Two-Bit gently said. He slowly helped Steve to his feet and brought him back over to the grass. Steve felt himself hyperventilate as he cried. Two-Bit helped him sit down in the grass and pull him in a tight hug. "It will be okay."

Steve felt himself relax against Two-Bit, taking in deep breaths to attempt to calm the cries. He looked up towards the sky. It was turning colors as night was about to come upon them. Steve began thinking about the sunsets Pony would watch. The timing couldn't have been more perfect, as Steve saw it as a sign of Ponyboy's forgiveness. In an instant, his cries stopped, the tears slowed down, and Steve kept his eyes towards the sky, watching the colors shift.


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: Alright, here's the update! I got quite a lot of reviews last chapter asking for an update...they were mostly guest reviews, so as far as I know it was the same person really wanting an update hahaha! Either way, here it is, enjoy!

When nightfall hit, Darry walked upstairs. His mind was in a deep fog. How long had it been since he had been home? Honestly, he had no idea. How long had it been since Pony passed on? Only one day. Darry couldn't begin to comprehend that. It was just yesterday. 'Is this how long the days are going to be now?' he thought to himself. He strolled to the first door that was at the top of the stairs, and just looked at it. His little brother was on the other side. His other little brother. The only one that was home. The other one wasn't coming home. As his eyes were locked, Darry couldn't get himself to open the door. He felt the need to go to bed alone, no conversation to think about as he went to sleep in his bed for the first time in awhile. He could only assume Soda would want to be alone too, not being asked how he was holding up. It would be a stupid question anyway.

* * *

The four greasers that had their grieving moments in the park eventually found their way to Two-Bit's house. They knew it wasn't the time to go to the Curtis house, so Two-Bit's was the only other home they could go to and hang out at. They all sat in the backyard, had started a small fire and were drinking beers. They all were having mixed emotions still. They felt better they had gotten some things out at the park, but the pain was still creeping in. They were all going to have to get use to a new normal, and it wasn't going to be easy. Steve was very thankful for what Two-Bit had made him do. He knew it would take some time to truly feel he could stop blaming himself for any insecurities he was holding onto, but it would get easier, day by day.

* * *

Darry got himself undressed to only his undergarments. He was sore. He still had a minor concussion that made him feel a little fuzzy and not completely focused, but maybe that was a good thing. The doctor had recommended he still have someone around to help out with that, but Darry couldn't handle anyone around right now. He just wanted to go to sleep anyway, he wasn't going to be doing anything too physical. He slowly lay back onto the bed. Wanting to ignore the mental and emotional weight trying to push down on him, he willingly acknowledged the physical pain from his wrapped ribs.

* * *

"What do you think is going on over there right now?" Two-Bit asked as he tossed a couple sticks into the fire.

"Sleeping," Steve commented, "I'm ready to crash."

"You going to stay here?" Two-Bit asked, "You can."

"Yeah, I will. I don't really want to be alone." He looked across the yard at Dally and Johnny. They were tossing a football back and forth, having their own conversation.

"Are you worried about Soda?" Two-Bit asked.

Steve shook his head, "I don't think so. Something is telling me he's okay, right now anyway."

"Did you take your pills with you?"

"No," Steve said as he broke some sticks apart, "I didn't really want them."

"Why not?" Two-Bit asked. Steve began thinking back to just the day before. The last time he saw his pills, they were all over the bathroom floor. They flew everywhere, because of the struggle he had to fight to keep his best friend alive. The idea made his stomach nauseous.

"I don't know if I'll ever look at them the same way," Steve admitted.

* * *

The oldest greaser kept his eyes shut. He pushed his mind as far from reality as possible. 'I just want to sleep,' he thought to himself, 'Don't think about anything else.' He tried his hardest to ignore the fact that this was the first night for the rest of his life he'd only have one little brother in the house, sleeping through the night. He'd only have one little brother who would actually wake up again. Darry lifted his arms and took a big stretch, letting the pain in his side redirect his thinking.

* * *

"But Steve you need them," Two-Bit said in a low voice.

Steve shrugged, "I'm just not comfortable with them. How do you expect me to look at them and not be flashed with the reminder of my best friend about to swallow them down his throat?" Steve took the sticks he held and threw them into the fire with frustration.

Two-Bit looked at the fire. He understood what Steve was saying, but he knew his friend needed the medicine. "Then what are you going to do? Just not take your medicine? That might be okay for a couple of days, but it will take a toll on you. It will make you become a mess and can hurt you. You said so yourself."

"I don't know," Steve said, "To be honest, I'm not that worried about all of that right now."

Two-Bit could feel himself getting frustrated with Steve's stubbornness, but he knew this wasn't the time to get into it. He'd give Steve his time to think about it and hopefully move past the scene in the Curtis' bathroom.

Each one of them ended up staying at Two-Bit's. Whether any of them wanted to admit it or not, they all needed to be together. Dally and Johnny slept in the living room, and Steve joined Two-Bit up in his bedroom. He lay on the floor with a couple of blankets and a pillow while Two-Bit got himself ready for bed.

"Do you need anything?" Two-Bit asked, "Is there anything that can help you sleep?"

Steve shook his head, "Honestly, my head feels pretty damn exhausted, so it might not be that hard to fall asleep."

"I can stay up with you if you want," Two-Bit offered.

"No, you don't have to. Just get it dark in here and I'll be fine."

Two-Bit turned off the lights and lay in bed. He didn't like leaving his friend to struggle. He almost wished he could go get the pills for him. Steve didn't know it, but Two-Bit just stayed awake in bed, glancing to the floor to see if he had fallen asleep yet. He felt better staying awake, so he could catch Steve if he tried to leave the room and go outside. Leaning over, Two-Bit looked out the bit of the outside world that was showing through the shades. There were no clouds, and stars were shining everywhere. The moon was bright as can be. It gave him a little sense of hope. The gang seemed crashed down at the moment, with no way to keep going. They were at a dead end. Ponyboy Curtis was part of the gang, and it wasn't going to be the same. They had no choice, but to move on, and Two-Bit felt a warm feeling inside that they would all be okay. As long as they stuck together, they would come out of this alright.

As Two-Bit felt his eyelids get heavy, he stirred himself awake and turned to look down at the floor again. Like clockwork of a gracious spirit, he saw his friend fast asleep.

* * *

The next time Darry opened his eyes, the sun was high up in the sky. He had managed to sleep through the night, although he wasn't sure what time it was when he had gotten upstairs and into bed, so through the night may have only been a few hours. It took a moment for reality to set in as he looked around his room. All he could do was take the day on. Slowly, he got himself up. He took a few long stretches, and walked out the door. Entering the bathroom across the hall, he turned on the sink, letting the cold water go down the drain. Cupping his hands, he placed them under the running liquid, filling a small puddle upon his palms. Carefully bending over, Darry brought his hands upward, letting the water splash to his face. As he ran a towel down, he got a look at himself in the mirror. He looked defeated, barely alive.

As he continued down the hallway, Darry stopped at the closed door that was nearest the stairs again. Looking up, his brother was probably still on the other side. Oddly enough to Darry, it still didn't feel right to enter. He wasn't sure how to take in that kind of feeling, as he was usually one to want to fix problems right away. It was foreign to him, and he didn't know how to handle it. Turning to look forward again, Darry took steps down the stairs. It was very quiet, very unusual. He didn't make it far as the emotional toll took over him as he slipped onto the couch.

It wasn't long before the front door slowly opened. Darry looked up and saw Steve closing the door behind him.

"Hey," Steve greeted.

Darry swallowed the lump in his throat, not realizing who he had hoped was coming through the door, "Hi."

Steve glanced up the stairs, "Has Soda come out?"

Darry shook his head. Steve wanted to check on his best friend, but first walked over to the couch and took a seat next to Darry. "How are your ribs feeling? And your head?"

"A little sore," Darry said, "Not really thinking about it though."

Steve slowly nodded, "Do you need me to do anything? Want me to make you something to eat?"

"Oh Steve, I can't possibly ask you to do anything else. You've already done a lot."

"And I'm not done," Steve stood up from the couch, "You're still not completely healed up, so you'll need at least a little help. And I'm not letting you just take back over the house again. You can't handle it."

Looking back down at the floor, Darry shook his head, "I don't even know what I'm suppose to do next." Steve knew he wasn't talking about housework. Darry was lost at how he was suppose to keep moving forward with life without Ponyboy in it.

"Have you talked to Soda since being home?"

"No," Darry said, feeling ashamed at his answer, "I'm...having a little bit of a hard time doing that."

"How come?" Steve asked.

Darry shrugged, "I don't know. It's like anytime I think about going to talk to him, or even get to his bedroom, I can't push myself to see him." Steve could hear the soft whimpers begin to form in his words. "That's pretty shitty of me, huh?"

"No Darry, it's not."

"How can I be there for him?" Darry looked up at Steve, attempting to choke back the tears that fought their way through.

"Well you won't be able to anyway if you aren't taking care of yourself," Steve said, unable to help rolling his eyes as he heard himself still repeating things Two-Bit and Dally have been telling him.

"He hasn't even come out of his room," Darry lay his head in his hands.

"I'll go check on him," Steve said, "Just sit tight, alright?" Steve went up the stairs and walked up to the bedroom door. He knocked a couple of times and didn't hear an answer, as he expected. He turned the knob and opened the door, peeking inside. It was like nothing had changed as he was greeted by Soda's back still facing the door.

Steve slid through the doorway and walked over to the bed, taking a seat at the end of it. "Hey buddy," he patted Soda's leg. Soda's eyes were open, just looking out the window. "Are you doing okay?"

Soda's eyes shifted down to the floor, slowly shaking his head, "No." Steve was at least relieved to hear Soda responding to him.

"Darry is downstairs," Steve said, "Do you want to go see him?"

Soda licked his dry lips, "I don't know."

"I think you guys need some time together."

"I know we do," Soda looked at Steve, "I just don't know what will happen when I see him."

"You'll cry," Steve said matter-of-factly, "You'll get mad. You'll throw things. You'll cry some more."

Soda sighed, slowly sitting himself up, "I don't want to cry anymore."

Steve scooted closer to his best friend, wrapping his arm around his shoulders, "I think this is the cry you both really need to do though. The one together."

"Yeah, I know. I remember when that happened after mom and dad died," Soda said, "We both had our crying with..."

Steve nodded, knowing the name Soda couldn't spit out, "I know."

Soda looked up towards the ceiling, shaking his head as tears formed, "Yeah, with him. But then when Darry and me were alone...just us two for the first time after that happened, we both lost it. It was a different kind of cry."

"Because something got tossed on your plates. A new life was coming that...he couldn't even understand yet, not like you and Darry knew about. And that's about to happen again."

Soda looked back down to the floor, "Steve, I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"Your pills...I don't know if I would have actually done it," Soda swallowed the lump in his throat, "It scares me a lot thinking about it now. In that moment, I was just getting frustrated that I couldn't get the bottle open. If I did get them open though, and actually looked at them, I don't know if I would have taken them. God I hope I wouldn't have. I don't know, it's scaring me that I don't really know if I would have or not. But...I hope I wouldn't have."

Steve's eyes began to burn as they welled up. Remembering walking into that scared Steve too. It terrified him. He hoped so bad that if he hadn't gotten there on time, Soda wouldn't have gone through with it. Steve grabbed Soda's shoulders and pulled him into a tight hug, feeling himself cry into his best friend's shoulders. Within his grasp, he felt Soda begin to shake as he also cried into Steve's chest. Even with the tears, Steve feeling Soda in his arms was an incredible feeling, compared to where they could be right now. "I have never been so scared in my life," Steve whimpered out, "I felt like such an idiot and a failure."

"What?" Soda backed away and looked at Steve, "Why?"

"Because I didn't even catch what you said at the hospital. The things you were saying. You were obviously crying out for help. You were obviously saying you didn't want to be around, and I completely missed it. The only reason I came to my senses was Two-Bit..." Steve trailed off, "...I never even told him thank you for that. He's really the reason you're safe."

Soda let a small grin crawl on his face, "Out of anyone else."

Steve smirked, "Good ol' Two-Bit, huh?" The two boys let out small laughs. It felt good. "I'm so happy you're still here Soda."

"Yeah. I know it will be awhile before I start really feeling like that, but I don't want you to worry. I don't really want to die. It's just going to be sometime before I'm happy again."

"I'll worry anyway," Steve squeezed Soda's shoulders, "Let's go down and see Darry, alright?"

"Did you tell Darry?" Soda asked.

Steve shook his head, "I didn't want to bother him with it. If you want to tell him..."

"No," Soda shook his head, "Can we just keep it between us for now?"

"Okay, but you have to promise if you ever feel like that again, come to me right away. I don't care what time of day or night it is, you have to tell me."

"I promise," Soda nodded, "Were you able to get some of your pills back?"

Steve didn't want Soda to worry about him. He didn't want Soda to worry about his disorder or if he was getting by okay. "Yeah, I did. I got them with me."

"Okay good," Soda ran a hand through his hair, "My hair feels gross."

"You can wash it later," Steve said standing up. He took Soda's hand and got him to his feet. Wrapping his arm around his shoulder, Steve brought Soda downstairs. Darry was looking to the floor, until he heard the boys get to the bottom of the stairs. He looked over and saw his little brother. The reality slapped him right in the face. That was the only little brother he'd be seeing around now.

Soda walked forward out of Steve's arm, and sat next to Darry. He looked at his older brother as the tears instantly flowed down his cheeks. Without any words, Darry grabbed his little brother and pulled him into a tight embrace.

Steve didn't want to be in the way as he turned around and began opening the front door to leave.

"Wait," Soda cried out, turning around from Darry's arms. "Can you please stay?"

"Are you sure?"

Soda looked at Darry, "Can he please stay?"

"Of course," Darry nodded.

Steve closed the door and walked back over. He sat with the boys, who pulled him into their hug. As the brothers cried, Steve let his own tears silently run, giving each of his friends a squeeze, letting them know he wasn't going anywhere.


	30. Chapter 30

Eventually Darry, Soda, and Steve ended up in the kitchen. They were sitting at the table, each having a beverage and passing chips around. Nothing had to really be said. They were just trying to take in each other's company. It was beginning to weigh in on them how they couldn't take life for granted. They couldn't take the people in their lives for granted. Mr. and Mrs. Curtis were a big part of the entire gang's life. Even though it hurt Darry, Sodapop, and Ponyboy the most, the other four felt pain in their hearts along with them. The same was going to happen with Pony's passing. The entire gang was going to hurt. Even though no one would say it, they all knew there was going to be some changes coming along for all of them. They'd take more moments together to heart, and realize the relationships they had with one another.

"I'm glad you're home Darry," Soda said, "I was just thinking if you were still at the hospital right now...that'd make this much, much harder."

"I'm glad I'm home too little buddy," Darry agreed, "I wouldn't have been able to stay there. I would've gotten out of there one way or another. I'm sorry I didn't come to your room last night though."

"Don't be sorry Dar. I think we both needed some time to be alone before we could really try being there for each other."

Darry nodded, "How are you doing? I know it might be a ridiculous question, but it should be asked." Steve looked at Soda with that question, curious if he would tell Darry what happened right after he was at the hospital last. He still wasn't looking to tell Darry about it. He just kept his hope that Soda would be true to his word.

Soda just shrugged, "I don't know what I'm suppose to do next. Our lives were about to be great with your promotion and everything..."

"I know," Darry looked down, "I'm so sorry Soda."

"Sorry for what?" Soda looked over, almost seeming irritated by the statement.

"It's my fault this happened. It's my fault we got in an accident. It's my fault he's..."

"How..." Soda shook his head as he looked up towards the ceiling. Steve could see tears welling up in his best friend's eyes, but he could tell they weren't sad tears, they were frustration tears. "How the hell," Soda choked back, not wanting to start crying, "can you say that shit?"

"Soda, I'm..."

"Stop!" Soda jumped up from his seat, causing both Steve and Darry to flinch, "It's not your fault! You didn't do anything Darry! Damn it! How can you say that to me!" Soda stormed out of the kitchen and ran upstairs.

Darry took a hard swallow, "Steve, I can't help but feel guilty for all of this."

"I know why you do," Steve said, "But you can't blame yourself. Blaming yourself...I'm sorry to be blunt, but it's not going to change what has already happened. And Soda doesn't need to hear you blame yourself. That's not what he needs. He doesn't blame you. None of us do."

"Yeah," Darry sighed.

"I'll go talk to him," Steve patted Darry on the back as he got up from his seat. Darry just shook his head as he looked at the empty chairs at the kitchen table. He already had to get use to picturing his parents not sitting there anymore, now he had to picture one less family member again.

Steve walked upstairs, preparing to have to make comforting trips upstairs many times in the near future. He entered the bedroom, seeing a crying Soda sitting at the end of the bed. "Soda, don't be mad at Darry, alright? You know he can't help but feel bad for all of this."

"I know," Soda cried, "But I can't deal with that right now Steve. I just can't. He cannot hold onto that guilt during this. It's not his fault, and I am not going to watch him push himself back like that!"

"Shh, it's okay Soda," Steve sat next to Soda, putting an arm around his best friend.

"He didn't do anything wrong Steve," Soda wiped his eyes with the back of his hands.

"You're right. He didn't. You might have to let him come to terms with that on his own."

"Steve, can I ask you a favor?" Soda suddenly asked.

"Of course. Anything."

Soda looked down at the bed sheets, running his hand along them, "Can you get my old room cleaned out?"

Steve let a small grin come across his face, "Come on." He took Soda's hand and brought him across the hall. Steve opened the door that lead to a bedroom that hadn't been used for quite some time. Soda took a step inside.

"Oh, you already started," Soda commented.

"Just in case," Steve said entering the room behind, "If you decided all of a sudden you wanted to come back in here, I wanted you to be able to at that moment." Soda looked around at his old room. Some old boxes were pushed to the side. The bed had some clean sheets and a comforter put back on. The carpet had been vacuumed. "So, eventually, if you want to, we'll get your stuff in here. Make it your room again. Or whatever you want to do and whenever you want to."

"Thank you Steve. I don't really know what else to say besides thank you."

"You don't need to say anything. I'd do anything for you buddy."

Soda took some more steps in, looking around the room. He had forgotten what his old room looked like. He forgot what it was like to have his own room. Even though he had shared a room with Pony for only about a year, it felt like they had done that forever. It was so natural. Even though it'd take some time to get use to his old room again, Soda just felt too vulnerable to continue staying across the hall.

Walking over to the bed, Soda began picking up the comforter. "Remember how we use to have sleepovers in here?"

Steve nodded, "On the floor, because real men didn't share a bed." The two boys chuckled together at the memories. Soda grabbed the pillows and tossed them on the floor. As he got down, Steve joined him on the floor, both of them getting under the blanket.

"You know, we use to say real men don't share a bed," Steve began, "But we didn't think about the fact we shared the same blanket."

Soda smirked, "No we really didn't."

"Sorry," Steve laughed, "Had to say it."

"No don't say sorry," Soda laughed as well, "I'll need the laughs."

* * *

Once Darry finally got out of his zoning out, he walked upstairs to check on Soda. As he got to Soda and Pony's bedroom, he was hit with the realization he hadn't walked in that room yet. "Got to push through," Darry mumbled to himself. There would be a lot of firsts that would hit him, just like after his parent's deaths. He'd have to go forward with each one. He took the last couple of steps to reach the bedroom and looked inside. The room was empty. Confusion took over the emotional ache Darry was feeling as he looked around. He backed out, closing the door, and turned to find the door across the hall was open. Darry walked over to find the two boys laying on the floor of Soda's old room. Soda was asleep, but Steve was awake.

"This is a view I haven't seen in a long time," Darry commented.

Steve grinned, "Kind of missed it."

Darry looked around the room, "He wants to move back in here, doesn't he?"

"He technically hasn't out right said those exact words," Steve said looking at his best friend, "But I think so."

"He probably won't say it at all," Darry said, "He might think it's a bad thing to want to."

"It's not. If it's too hard to stay in that room, he has to do what makes him comfortable. He has to do whatever helps him."

"I know. If he just stays in here, I might not ask him about it," Darry said having a debate in his own head, "I don't know. Maybe not right away at least."

Steve got out of the blanket and stood up. He followed Darry out of the room, letting Soda get whatever rest he needed. "I know this is a hard question, but what are you going to do now? What do you think Soda should do? Like with work and everything?"

"Well, I still need to physically heal a little bit more before I can do back to work. I'm really debating on Soda going back to work," Darry replied, "We are now in a good place where we don't desperately need him to go back for the paycheck."

"Do you think he should or shouldn't go back yet?" Steve asked.

"Well, I obviously haven't gotten around to asking him what he thinks. I'm kind of nervous what he'll say honestly."

"Why? What if he says he wants to go back?" Steve asked.

"I just don't know if it'd be a good idea yet," Darry sighed, "After mom and dad died though...he wanted to go out and do things all the time. Some people need to keep busy, and some people need to just be alone. Soda's the type to want to stay busy. He didn't have a job at the time though. It makes me a little nervous for him to go back to something as big as work. It's a little different than going to the park, or the stables, or a race."

"Well," Steve began, "I get that Darry. You are right though. Once he gets the slightest bit of energy, he won't want to just sit around. He usually isn't like that anyway."

"So...you think I should let him go back to work if he wants to?"

Steve put his hands in his pockets, "If he wants to, I say give him a chance. You know Mr. Huffman is going to be flexible with him. He already was when you guys were in the hospital."

Darry nodded, "Can I ask you a favor?"

"Yeah," Steve slightly smiled, knowing he may be getting asked that question a lot.

"I know you've been staying here a lot already. I know you've done a lot for us, and I thought I'd be ready to just take back over and let you get back to your own life. It's hard for me to say...but I think I'll need some help."

Steve looked around the hallway, "My own life? Majority of my life is here Darry."

Darry chuckled as he looked down, "I guess that's true."

"Darry," Steve began, "I wasn't planning on going anywhere anytime soon."

Darry looked back up, "Can you stay here for a little while longer?"

"Of course Darry."

"Thank you Steve."

"I should go get some more clothes though," Steve chuckled, "I'll be back a little later."

Darry watched as Steve walked downstairs and gather his shoes and car keys. He felt incredibly grateful for all Steve had done for his family. He wasn't sure where Soda would have ended up during all of this if Steve hadn't been there, by his side through it all.

As Steve got into his car to leave, he felt his heart drop at some of Darry's words. He was clearly nothing but thankful for Steve. Too bad Steve couldn't feel as good about himself. "If only you knew we almost lost Soda too," Steve said to himself as he placed the key in the ignition, "You wouldn't be thankful for me then."

* * *

As Steve got out of the shower, he wrapped a towel around his waist and walked to his bedroom. He began sorting through the clean laundry his dad had left on his dresser.

"Well, decided to come home finally?"

Steve turned and saw his dad at the doorway.

"Hi," Steve said, "Thanks for cleaning my clothes."

"Where have you been? Have you been in some sort of trouble?" Mr. Randle asked.

Steve shook his head, "No. Darry and Pony were in the hospital, I was helping Soda out."

"What happened?"

"Just a bad car accident. They were in comas, so it was kind of serious," Steve explained.

"Are they okay now?"

Steve knew his dad didn't do well with bad, sappy news. He never knew the right way to react towards tragic things. Steve knew that more than anyone, so he knew the way to go about it. "Doing alright," he replied, "They'll move on with what they need to."

"Hmm," Mr. Randle said, not wanting to ask what that meant as Steve expected, "Are you going back over there?"

"Yeah. Darry still has some healing to do, so I'm going to help a little more," Steve tossed some clothes onto his bed to pack up, "I can come check in everyday if you want."

Mr. Randle shrugged, "Not a big deal. Hope things go well over there. Oh by the way, I wasn't sure how low you were, but your medication refill was ready so I got it. Don't leave it behind."

Steve swallowed the sudden lump in his throat, "Hey dad, can you do me a favor?"

"What?"

"Can you make me a doctor's appointment?"

"For what?"

Steve bit his lip, "I want to talk about my insomnia. I...kind of want to see if I can maybe get off the medication."

"What's wrong with the medicine?"

"It just makes me feel kind of blah. I want to see if I can do something else to help."

"Okay, I can give them a call," Mr. Randle crossed his arms, "I hope you didn't stop taking it."

Steve slowly shook his head as he lied, "No."

"Because you know what can happen if you suddenly don't take the pills?" Mr. Randle asked, "The doctor said to not just stop."

"Dad, he said that for if I had been on them for a long time. It hasn't been too long," Steve argued.

"It's been long enough for your body to get use to them. I don't understand Steve. They've been helping you. You've felt better and were having a good few months," Mr. Randle sighed, "What changed?"

"I told you, they just make me feel off sometimes. I'm not making a big deal about it. I just want to talk to the doctor and ask, that's all," Steve shrugged.

"Okay. I'll call and get you in."

"Thanks dad."

* * *

"Hey," Darry greeted from the armchair as Soda came back downstairs.

"Hey, where's Steve?" Soda asked as he woke up alone on the floor.

"He ran home to shower and grab some more stuff. I asked him if he could stay with us for awhile and help out."

"Good," Soda took a seat on the couch, "Not good as in you can't handle anything. Just good, because...I'll just like him being here."

"He was here almost everyday after mom and dad died too," Darry put in.

Soda nodded, "I do remember that."

Darry ran a hand up and down his leg, "I want to ask you something Soda. There's no right or wrong answer to this. I just want to know."

"What?"

"Well I have to wait a few days still until I can go back to work. Just have to heal up a little more."

"Do you have to get checked if your concussion is still there first?" Soda asked.

Darry shook it off, "I feel alright. My ribs bother me the most, but I can just wrap them."

"Well okay," Soda said, clearly not satisfied with the answer.

"Anyway, I wanted to ask you if you're going to be interested in going back to work?"

Soda let out a low whistle, "I have been out for awhile now. I haven't even thought about it honestly."

"Don't feel pressured to. You don't have to. I just wasn't sure if you were maybe wanting the distraction, but didn't know how to ask me?"

Soda shrugged, "I'll think about it I guess. I'm sure I'll just wake up one day, maybe even tomorrow, and just want to."

"That's fine. You know your boss has the job waiting for you. I just want to tell you that, even though you're the type to want to keep busy from everything going on, I'm a little nervous for you to use work as the method to do that."

"Why?" Soda asked.

"I don't know," Darry shrugged, "I guess because it's not just going to burn energy how you want. You need to be focused at work, and just be at the top of your game. Not just bullshit around."

"I will be focused Darry. I love working there, and Steve would be there with me. I'd be okay."

Darry nodded, "I believe you little buddy. I'll let you decide. Can I ask you another question?"

"Shoot, ask me everything on your mind," Soda grinned in a smart ass way.

"I wasn't going to ask this, but I want to get it out in the open so you don't have to feel like hiding it. Plus we should just talk about everything."

"And the question is?"

"Do you want to move back into your old room?" Soda froze, unsure how to answer. "You can if you want Soda. You can do whatever you need to with all of this. I don't want you to think it's wrong for you to want that."

Soda looked at his older brother, clearly holding back tears, "I'm not trying to be weak."

"Soda, you're not weak for wanting that," Darry said firmly, "Not at all."

Soda took a deep breath, "I-I think I need to...to go back in my old room."

"That's perfectly fine Soda. There is nothing wrong with that."

Soda looked over at the other end of the couch and sighed, "Why can't he be here right now?"


	31. Chapter 31

The next morning Soda put his DX uniform on. It was an odd feeling, but it did feel more in place. It was easier to put it on than Soda thought it would be. Some weight actually lifted from his shoulders. Standing in the bathroom, Soda looked at his reflection, ready to begin the day.

"Are you sure you're ready?" Steve asked leaning against the doorway, also in is DX shirt.

"Well no, I don't really know how I feel. I want to though. I need to," Soda replied.

Steve nodded, "Well, Mr. Huffman is going to make sure I at least work shifts with you to help out, so that should be helpful."

Soda turned towards Steve, "It will help. I just think going back to work will be a good distraction. I just need to get out of here."

"How do you think it will be when we drive back here?" Steve asked, placing his hands in his pockets.

"I don't know," Soda looked down, "I haven't came back home since it all happened. I haven't left the house yet. But it's something I'm going to have to face. I'll have to do it over and over again before it gets any better."

"I'm glad to hear that you're willing to try though."

The two boys walked downstairs and went into the kitchen, where Darry sat at the kitchen table looking at some paperwork. Soda knew what it was, but wasn't going to ask or look at it. "Well, we're going to head out," Soda said.

"Okay," Darry said, "If you need me to come get you, just call me, alright?"

"Are you going to be okay here alone?" Soda asked.

"Yes little buddy. I know it's hard for you to just sit here and think about everything, but I have plenty of distraction here so, I'll be fine," Darry looked up at his little brother, "You try to have a good day."

"I will. I love you Dar," Soda said, trying to keep the tears back as he said it. The idea of never knowing when it could be the last time he sees his last family member around hurt him, and it made him want to express his love for his older brother as much as he can.

"Love you too buddy."

* * *

Darry stayed in the kitchen while going over things. He'd get up to refill his coffee, but immediately got back to filling papers out. Just like after his parent's died, he wasn't willing to let things get piled up and push at him. He knew that'd just cause more depression and anxiety with everything. The sooner he could get it done with, the sooner he could handle a healthier grieving process. It was getting close to the middle of the day when the front door opened.

"Hello?" a voice called out.

"In here," Darry yelled back. Two-Bit, Dally, and Johnny walked into the kitchen.

"Hey Darry," Two-Bit greeted.

"How are the ribs feeling?" Dally asked.

"They feel fine," Darry said, "I've had worse."

"Where's Soda and Steve?" Dally asked.

"Work."

"Soda went back to work already?" Two-Bit asked.

"Yeah. I don't blame him. He can't just sit around and think about things. He needs the out-of-house distraction while I deal with paperwork and other things distraction," Darry said as he stood up from the table.

"What are you working on?" Two-Bit asked.

Darry sighed, "Planning...the funeral." Darry put a hand over his mouth as he walked over to the fridge. He had no plan in mind on what he was going to look for, but it was going to push back any emotions towards what words just came out of his mouth.

"You have to do that already?" Johnny asked taking a seat at the table. He couldn't help but glance at the papers, but he tried his hardest not to read any of the words upon it.

"Yeah," Darry said recomposing himself as he closed the fridge, "I mean, there isn't much to plan honestly. I've just been calling other family to get them into town."

"When is it?" Two-Bit asked.

"Four days," Darry replied, "This could sound shitty, but I just want to get it over with."

"That's not shitty," Dally said sitting next to Johnny.

"Absolutely not," Two-Bit said taking the last chair, "Now what do you need help with?"

"You guys don't have to..."

"Shut up," Dally interrupted, "Steve tried to push us away for help. You aren't getting away with it too." Darry looked at the three greasers around his table. He was already amazed and relieved at all Steve did to help his little brother, but now he was feeling overwhelmed at the rest of the support right in front of him. The gang he had grown to become close to and love were truly a supportive unit. They were one family. Looking at each of them, he could see and feel the sincerity from each of them.

"So what do you need help with?" Two-Bit repeated the question.

* * *

The one thing that made the DX a great place to escape wasn't just the distraction of work, but there wasn't a lot of things to remind Soda of Ponyboy. He would get thrown images of Pony every corner of the house. He loved the DX though. He loved being there and was able to get away and have other memories flood his mind. The fridges full of Pepsi bottles were really the only reminder, but it was easy for Soda to avoid those, for now.

Steve entered the store, covered in dirt and grease. He had beads of sweat at his hairline. He walked to the fridge and grabbed two waters, bringing them to the counter and handing one to Soda.

"It's hot outside, huh?" Soda asked.

"Being trapped in a garage doesn't help," Steve said, "But I'll live."

"I don't know man, you seem pretty out of breath and your face is beat red."

Steve cleared his throat as he opened the beverage, feeling the cold liquid rush through his mouth and down his throat. He didn't like hearing Soda say he was out of breath and looking overheated. He was already not taking his pills, and hearing any physical showings made him a little nervous. He was feeling the anxiety begin to come back, like it had months ago when the disorder first appeared. Working in the hot air outside was making Steve feel on edge and irritable too, but he pushed it down to not let it show towards Soda.

"How are you doing in here?" Steve asked between gulps of water.

"Good," Soda looked down at the cash register.

"Are you sure? It seemed kind of slow in here. It was plenty busy at the gas pump. I know you came to work today for a distraction, so it must not be helping that people aren't really coming in here."

"I think I prefer that actually," Soda looked back up, "Someone walked in and told me how sorry they were about...it. It made me realize I hadn't even thought about it getting around town, and other people knowing about it. I forgot it wasn't going to just be us knowing about everything. And I just don't want to hear about it all day long. People walking in and reminding me."

Steve nodded, "I guess I hadn't thought about it either. Maybe that's why people aren't coming in much from the gas pump. They don't know what to say to you."

"Yeah, maybe. I'm okay though. The majority of the day has still gone okay."

"Good. I should get back out there," Steve said with a sigh, not feeling any better with it not being much cooler inside the DX store, "I just wanted to check on you."

"Thanks Steve."

* * *

After a long day of work, Soda and Steve returned home to a full house. Soda felt somewhat relieved to see all of his friends there. He was worried if it would become too much for him though. He figured he could escape to his room if he needed to. They'd all understand.

"Hey buddy," Darry greeted as he hung up the phone from the kitchen, "How was work?"

Soda nodded, "Good. I did need it. It's nice to see everyone together here too." Soda tossed his shoes off and took a seat on the floor next to Dally, glancing at the television.

"Yeah it is," Steve said as he took a seat on the couch with Johnny. He still wasn't feeling great, even as the temperature slowly began cooling down. He tried to relax himself, not wanting to feel the need to take his pills until he could get into the doctor. "Who's ready to start drinking?"

"Way ahead of you," Two-Bit grinned from his place in the armchair, holding up a bottle.

"Well now go get me one," Steve said placing his feet on the coffee table.

Two-Bit smirked, "You got two legs that aren't broken."

"I've been on my feet all day!" Steve barked.

"Steve, get your shoes off the table and I'll get you a beer," Darry said.

"Deal," Steve said quietly as he sat up and removed his shoes, tossing them towards the door.

Darry walked back into the living room, handing Steve a beer. "Soda, come in the kitchen for a second."

Soda stood up from the floor and walked to the kitchen, leaning against the doorway, "What is it?"

Darry picked up a notepad he had sitting on the counter, "Um...the funeral is going to be in four days."

Soda gulped, "Okay."

"I want you to think about this before giving me an answer, because when I asked you this for mom and dad's funeral, you jumped an answer and regretted it later."

Soda knew what Darry was hinting at immediately. "The speech."

Darry nodded, "Yeah. I know you thought it was a good idea at the time, but then you got up there and you...you just lost it too much. It took you awhile to recover and everything."

"I know that Darry," Soda said quietly.

"So, don't worry about making one. You don't have to. If you want to, okay. If you don't, that's okay too. Just take your time to think about it, alright?"

Soda nodded, "Yeah fine. Do you need me to do anything else besides think?"

"Actually no. I think we got a lot taken care of."

"We?" Soda's eyebrows furrowed with the question.

"The gang was helping me today while you were at work. We got a lot done."

"Oh," Soda took a breath.

"I forget how much of a family they are to us," Darry said looking towards the living room, "I can't explain how grateful I am for all of them."

"Me too. I think I'm going to shoot some hoops."

"Alright," Darry watched Soda go out the backdoor. He looked back over towards the living room as Steve walked in.

"Is he okay?"

"I think so. I told him to think about if he wants to make a speech at the funeral or not."

"Oh," Steve looked down, "What did he say?"

"Nothing. I didn't want an answer anyway. He needs to really think about it first."

"Yeah," Steve walked further into the kitchen and placed his beer on the counter, "I'll be right back. I need some fresh air."

In the living room, Two-Bit watched as Steve walked out the front door in a hurry. He set his beer on the side table, and got up to follow him. Outside, he watched Steve head down the driveway towards the street. He didn't get in his car, just turned to continue down the road.

"Hey Steve," Two-Bit quickly made his way to the street to catch up, "Where are you going?"

"Just need a walk is all," Steve pulled out his pack of cigarettes. He wanted to get the uneasiness off his heavy chest.

"Want some company?"

"You won't give me a choice."

Two-Bit smiled, "Nope. So how did work go today?"

Steve placed the cigarette between his lips, "Soda seemed to do okay."

"What about you?" Two-Bit asked following Steve's walking path.

"Work was work."

"How have you been feeling since the park?" Two-Bit asked.

"I don't know. I haven't been able to get it out of my head honestly. I wasn't feeling too good today either," Steve took a deep inhale of his cigarette, "I'm really on edge right now. I hate the idea of talking about it, but I feel like I'm going to explode man."

"Well, the stuff at the park isn't going to be an easy thing to forgive yourself for."

"I know, I know," Steve said stopping in his tracks, placing the heel of his hand on his forehead. He knew Two-Bit wasn't understanding that he was on edge, because of his medicine. He wasn't willing to outright say it either.

"What is it?" Two-Bit asked coming side by side with Steve, "Talk to me."

"I don't know how to get past all of this," Steve said, deciding to go on talking about his own mental war with Pony's death, "I'm trying so hard to push it away, because Soda needs me. Darry needs me. I was able to push other shit away when Soda needed me, while Darry was in the hospital. Why can't I push this away right now? Why can't I push things away just a little longer?"

* * *

Soda dribbled the ball around the backyard, taking shots towards the hoop, not making any of them. The idea of making a speech at his little brother's funeral terrified him. It felt right that he should, especially if Darry did one, but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to go through with it. He was confident giving a speech at his parent's, until he actually got up there. This time, there was no confidence to even attempt.

Soda eventually heard the door open and close. Turning around, he saw Johnny walk down the porch steps.

"Hey Johnnycake," Soda tossed the basketball towards the young greaser.

Johnny caught it and dribbled it around, "Hey."

Soda watched as he played around with the ball. There hadn't been much interaction between the two of them through all of this. It made Soda feel bad as his mind became flooded with memories of his little brother and his best friend. They were similar to memories he had with himself and Steve. "I haven't asked you how you were holding up with everything. You know we haven't talked much throughout all of this. I'm sorry about that."

"I wouldn't expect you to. You were going through a lot."

Soda walked closer to Johnny, "So were you."

* * *

"Steve you can't push things away anymore. You have to accept that," Two-Bit placed a hand on Steve's shoulder.

Steve took a quick inhale of his cigarette, begging his heart to slow down, "I don't know what to do next. Darry asked me to stay with them longer and help them out. How am I suppose to worry about me when he clearly needs me?"

"Darry doesn't need you to take care of him and Soda completely. I think you know that too. He just needs you to be around. You know just you being in that house is going to do a lot for Soda."

"I can't vent my problems to Soda or Darry though. They don't need that. Soda can't handle that," Steve said with a shaky voice.

"Vent to me hard ass," Two-Bit playfully shoved Steve, "Be there,and just take care of yourself too."

"How?" Steve looked at Two-Bit, feeling a lump in his throat like he could vomit right there in the street.

Two-Bit looked up and down at Steve, "You could start by taking your medication again."

* * *

"Dally's been there for me though," Johnny took a shot, watching the ball fall through the hoop.

"I know. I'm glad he has been. I'm happy you had someone. We can go through this together too though. I mean, you were so close to him. I know he meant a lot to you."

Johnny felt the tears in his eyes as he looked at Soda, "I've just been taken it day by day, you know? Because I have no idea what my next step is to get through this."

Soda reached out and pulled Johnny into a hug. He felt the small boy begin shaking, as he cried into Soda's chest. Soda couldn't bother fighting as the tears fell down his cheeks too. "Hell, I don't know mine either. Let's just be clueless together."

Johnny let a small laugh escape his lips, "Deal."

* * *

"That's not what this is about," Steve argued.

"I know you've gotten some sleep, better than usual," Two-Bit sighed, "But I'm not stupid Steve. I know it can be dangerous for anyone to just stop medicines or treatments or whatever."

Steve began walking down the street, tossing his cigarette to the side, "My dad's making me a doctor's appointment."

"For what?"

"I want to stop taking them."

"What on Earth for?" Two-Bit asked, frustration rising.

"Because Two-Bit, I can't look at them the same ever again. It's too painful!"

"Okay, Steve, I get that. I have the visual in my head too."

"But they weren't your damn pills!"

"Steve stop!" Two-Bit took quick steps to get around Steve, standing in front of him, "Just stop for a second. Do you see how angry you're getting right now? I know you have your temper moments, but fucking look at what you're doing. Your face hasn't stopped being red since you got home, you're sweaty, you're shaking, you look like you need to runaway from something."

Steve's hands flew to his face, slowly running down, "I haven't felt like this in awhile."

Two-Bit grabbed Steve's hands, and held them tight, "Listen, it's fine if you want to go to the doctor. It's fine if you want to talk about it. Hell maybe there are other options for you, that'd be great! But right now, your body can't take it. It's going through...something, maybe withdrawals or something, because you were so off on them throughout this whole thing. You didn't take some, then you did, now you aren't again. Until you go to the doctors and get answers, you have to get back on track."

Steve looked up at his friend. Two-Bit could see true worry in Steve's eyes. He could tell even Steve was confused about what his body was going through.

"Promise me Steve? You will take them again. I bet you'll feel better. Promise me?"


	32. Chapter 32

Steve sat on the examining table, kicking his legs back and forth. He was at his doctor's appointment, and was nervous to find out how the doctor would answer his questions. He didn't want to be told there was nothing else he could do. What kind of life was it if you were stuck on medication? Especially starting at a young age.

"You can't sit still can you?" Mr. Randle asked from his seat in the chair.

"Sorry," Steve said, "Not like I can smoke in here."

"Shouldn't be smoking in the first place," Mr. Randle said as he flipped pages of a magazine, "What do you plan on telling the doctor?"

"I just want to ask if I have other options to handle this. The pills were good for getting me to sleep, but waking up groggy and just feeling off is getting to me," Steve lied. He actually never felt groggy in the mornings. The pills helped him get great sleep, but there had to be other options.

"You need to listen to what the doctor tells you though."

"I know that dad," Steve said quietly.

"If he tells you to keep taking the pills, you better take them," Mr. Randle said.

Steve sighed. He couldn't tell his dad why he really couldn't take them. He was starting to feel like shit, and Two-Bit was clearly starting to notice. If Steve took another pill though, he'd feel even worse and possibly more sick. He lay his head into his hands as he began feeling nauseous from the flashbacks of Soda holding his pill bottle.

* * *

Soda was sitting on the back porch with a cigarette between his lips. He was lost in his own thoughts. He was beginning to feel numb, too numb to cry anymore. Any feelings were beginning to drain as he was too focused on the funeral and his speech. Soda had completely put the grieving process on the back burner, and for the moment he was happy to not deal with it.

The back door opened, and Johnny took a seat next to Soda, fishing out his own cigarette.

"How's it going Johnnycake?" Soda asked.

"Alright," Johnny said, "What are you doing out here alone?"

"Just thinking about the funeral," Soda sighed, "It's going to come quick."

"The days are slow, but it will come quick," Johnny agreed.

"I'm trying to think of what to say."

"You are going to make a speech?"

Soda shrugged, "I don't know I guess. I want to. But every time the paper and pen are in front of me, I have no clue what to write down. Damn, I have to say something though. He was my life Johnny."

"Mine too," Johnny nodded.

Soda placed a hand upon Johnny's knee, "Johnny, I want you to know I want to be here for you."

"Oh Soda you have your own shit to deal with," Johnny looked down, "You have Darry to help you and you have to help him."

"We all need to help each other. We all need to be here for each other. Isn't that why you all are here at my house and not leaving?"

Johnny grinned, "Yeah pretty much."

"Me and you were the closest to Ponyboy. We were his rocks through any tough times. I just know we could relate the most through this, so...I'm here for you. For anything."

"Me too Soda. I'm here for you too."

Soda smiled as he took the last drag of his cigarette. He dropped it to the porch and stomped on it.

"Maybe you shouldn't write one."

Soda looked over at Johnny, "What?"

"Maybe you shouldn't write a speech."

"You think I really shouldn't?"

"I think it could stress you out more, especially on the day. Don't write anything. Just walk up there and speak."

* * *

"Hello Steve," the doctor walked into the room, "Hope you weren't waiting too long."

"Naw," Mr. Randle set the magazine aside, "He may have kicked a new dent into the table though."

The doctor grinned, "Wouldn't be the first time. Not exactly a soothing room. So what brings you in today Steve?"

"I want to talk about my pills."

"How have they been working out?" the doctor asked, "Has your sleeping improved?"

Steve ran his hand up and down his leg, "Good, they help me get to sleep fine, but I have been feeling off too."

"Off in what way?"

"Just a little too groggy in the morning, like it's hard to get up because I'm too tired still. They just don't make me feel the greatest," Steve said, "I was just wondering if there were other options to dealing with insomnia?"

"Well, unfortunately at this time, we don't have a whole lot of studies on insomnia. It's something still getting studied on. However, if you want to try other tactics, you know we've talked about the light therapy. We've talked about not just laying in bed if you're awake. The other options are basically training your body how to be awake during the day and how to properly fall asleep at night," the doctor explained, "But you know, you can see how it works for you. You can see how your body handles sleeping after being on the medicine for some time. You just can't stop the pills immediately though."

"Why not?" Steve asked.

"It can have some serious effects on your body. Your body has built a tolerance to his drug and expects it, stopping or interrupting the cycle can cause withdrawals, and I can't say how your body will handle it, because everyone's body is different. You could feel worst than you do. You could have mild symptoms, you could have serious symptoms that could put you in the hospital."

Steve threw his head back, "Damn."

"Have you stopped taking them?"

Steve swallowed hard, "No."

"I'm just curious, because your vitals came back a little concerning. Your blood pressure is a little high and your heartbeat seemed off."

"Damnit Steve," Mr. Randle said, "I told you not to stop taking your pills."

The doctor looked up at Steve with a concerning look, "Look Steve, if the pills are bothering you, we can find a healthy way to get off of them. Stopping them or taking them not on schedule can have some serious side effects as I mentioned. This won't do your body any good. But the other concern is that if you do eventually get off your pills and rely on your own physical therapy and discipline, it won't guarantee to help. You could still not get any sleep, and that will harm your body too."

Steve groaned, "So I'm just screwed either way?"

The doctor stood from his chair and pulled out a little light. He shined it into Steve's eyes to check his pupils, "I am sorry Steve. We just don't know much about insomnia." Putting his light away, he placed the stethoscope upon Steve's chest and listened.

"I can't believe this," Steve muttered.

The doctor replaced the stethoscope around his neck, "Steve, your vitals are really concerning me. If you want to truly try to be off your pills, you need to do it the right away. So I need you to get back on them starting tonight, and take them for some time before we can do any transition. I don't want to see you end up in the hospital."

* * *

Back in his dad's truck, Steve wasn't too thrilled about the doctor's visit. It seemed to leave him with no other option, and now he had to worry about what his body was currently going through off the pills. He couldn't hide the fact he had quit the pills either. His body was giving the signs he had obviously changed his habits.

Mr. Randle started up the truck, "You lied to me."

"No," Steve muttered.

"Don't bullshit me Steve!"

"I ain't lying!"

"The doctor said your vitals are off, and even if they weren't I can tell something is off, because you look like shit!"

"Dad, I'm fine!" Steve barked back. He felt his heart begin to race from the stress.

"Boy you better not be trying to convince me otherwise. You are asking for some trouble."

Steve didn't respond. He felt a little sick and wanted the conversation to be over. He almost felt like he had a hangover without the alcohol to cause it. The duo returned to their house. Steve saw a figure standing next to a car in front of his house. It was Two-Bit, and Steve wasn't too shocked to see him there. He wasn't in the mood to talk to Two-Bit, but he knew there wouldn't be much choice.

"Well I need to go to work," Mr. Randle said as he pulled the truck up towards the house, "Go get some rest."

"Okay. Thanks for the ride dad," Steve exited the truck and walked over to Two-Bit, "You been here long?"

Two-Bit shook his head, "Not really. How was the doctor's appointment?"

Steve rolled his eyes, "Kind of pointless. There's really nothing else they can do. I can slowly take my time to get off the medicine and just take the chance to see how my body handles sleep, try different therapies. Kind of bullshit pretty much."

"It seems like you've taken it into your own hands anyway," Two-Bit said.

"Don't start with me man," Steve shook his head. He put a hand up to block the shining sun as it was only making his head throb.

"Oh don't worry, I won't be long, because you look like you need to throw up or pass out or maybe fucking sleep," Two-Bit reached into his pocket and held out Steve's pills, "These were still at Soda's house, hidden away."

"So Soda couldn't find them," Steve shrugged.

"Why didn't you just bring them home?"

Steve shook his head, "I don't know."

"Steve, I know they scare you..."

"Oh shut it Two-Bit," Steve growled.

"Then why won't you take them from me?"

Steve snapped them from Two-Bit and held them up, "There? Are you happy?"

"Steve, you can't just..."

"Shut up Two-Bit! Just shut the hell up!" Steve barked, "Do you have any idea what I've been through? Do you! What do you want to hear? Huh? Yes I'm fucking terrified of my pills right now! Every time I look at them, I get flashes of Soda in my head that make me want to rip my eyes out so I never have to see it again!"

Two-Bit nodded angrily, tears forming in his own eyes, "I get it Steve. I fucking get it. But I do think you forgot something. I was there too! I saw it too! I went through the same damn thing!" Steve looked away from Two-Bit. He knew he was there. He knew Two-Bit went through the same terrifying realization of what Soda was going to try to do. He knew all of that, but he couldn't possibly revisit it with him.

"Two-Bit," Steve took a deep breath, "I'm sorry. I know you were..."

"Just shut it," Two-Bit wiped at his eyes, refusing to let any tears fall, "Just fucking tell me what you need. What needs to be done to make you take these pills again?" Two-Bit swiped the pills back from Steve, shaking the bottle with frustration.

"Do I need to hold onto them for you? Is that it?"

Steve shrugged, "I don't know man."

"Think Steve. Just think."

Steve looked at Two-Bit, at the pills in his hand, and back at Two-Bit. "I...I don't think I can take them alone."

"Fine. Let's go inside."

"Right now?"

"Yes, right now. You can't go back to Soda's in your condition right now," Two-Bit said, "You look like shit and I can tell you feel like shit too."

Steve followed Two-Bit into his house. They walked upstairs and into Steve's room. Steve slipped his shoes off and sat onto his bed. "I do feel like shit."

"I know you do."

"My doctor already knew I stopped taking them," Steve hung his head, "My vitals made it obvious."

"You're going to hurt yourself," Two-Bit sighed, "I'll be here, watching you take them from now on. You don't have to be alone."

Steve's lips quivered and a tear fell down onto his arm, "If Soda finds out..."

"Stop. He's not going to find out, okay? We will keep this between us," Two-Bit said as he opened the bottle, "Soda has a lot going on, and I already know you aren't going to stop being there for him. But to be there for him, you have to be okay too."

Steve looked up at Two-Bit as tears fell down his cheeks, "I know. He can't know about this."

"He won't. This is between us. I will help you and be here with you through this. Okay?" Two-Bit asked handing Steve a pill.

At first, Steve just stared at it. The sight of the pill still scared him. It brought nasty feelings inside. "I'm scared still," Steve admitted.

"I know buddy, but to get rid of those bad feelings, you'll need to face them."

Steve knew Two-Bit was right. He couldn't fight the demons if he let them win. Slowly, he grabbed the pill from Two-Bit and placed it in his mouth.


	33. Chapter 33

A/N: My amazing readers, this is the last chapter of this story. However, it doesn't end here. We will be seeing what comes next for the Curtis brothers and the gang in the next story. Unsure of the title, so keep a lookout for it! Thank you all for your amazing support, could not have done it without you!

* * *

The day had arrived. It was the day everyone was dreading to come. It was Ponyboy's funeral. It was time for the gang to say their final goodbyes. It was time for Darry and Sodapop to say their final goodbyes to their little brother. Everyone was having mixed feelings of not wanting to go, but wanting it to already be done and over with.

At the Curtis house, Darry and Soda were in their own rooms, getting dressed in their best clothes. Soda was still spending nights in his old room. He hadn't been back in the bedroom across the hall, the bedroom he shared with Pony. He had Steve go in there and grab the rest of his clothes, so there wouldn't be a reason for him to go back in. He just couldn't bare it. Darry checked himself over and over again. He didn't plan to leave his bedroom until Soda was ready. He didn't want to bother him about being ready, or make him feel rushed and on edge before they even got to the truck.

Steve was downstairs in the living room. He brought clothes from his house the night before, so he could just shower and dress that morning. He hadn't seen Darry or Soda yet, and he wasn't about to go upstairs and check in on them. He knew they'd be down, soon. Steve was still frustrated from his doctor's appointment. Two-Bit made sure he had taken his medication the past couple of nights. The eerie feeling of what the pills could have done to his best friend still haunted Steve. All he could think about was what if he had never given Soda a pill to help him sleep in the first place? What if Soda never knew about his disorder? Soda wouldn't have thought of such an easy plan to rid his life. Unfortunately, Steve was still feeling the physical side effects of not being consistent with his pills. He hoped it would go away soon if he got back on track with them.

* * *

At the Mathews house was Two-Bit, Dally, and Johnny. As expected, they didn't have much nice things to wear, but they didn't have nice things to wear to Mr. and Mrs. Curtis' funeral either. Couldn't expect much different from that side of town. Two-Bit hadn't told anyone what was going on with Steve. Everyone was too concerned about Darry and Soda, and rightfully so. Two-Bit knew Steve was already taking on too much, and was putting his health in jeopardy, so he made the ultimate decision to get himself involved in keeping Steve on his feet. He knew Steve wouldn't want anyone else to worry about him anyway.

Dally and Johnny were outside smoking, waiting for Two-Bit to be ready to leave. They weren't talking. Neither of them had the energy to say anything. There was nothing to say. They didn't sleep well at Two-Bit's the night before. Johnny wasn't ready to say goodbye to his best friend. He wasn't ready to begin his life without him. He wasn't ready for this funeral service.

No one seemed to know for sure how Dally was feeling. They all knew he cared and was feeling the pain, but he wasn't showing it. He wasn't talking to anyone about it. He was focused on Johnny and only Johnny. If he could keep his focus on Johnny Cade, he could stay numb about everything else.

* * *

The gang all met at the church. There was more people there than Soda expected. There were some family members, and then a lot of greasers were filing in to pay their respects. They didn't really invite a lot of people, but they couldn't be surprised the news got around town. It meant a lot to Darry and Soda to see how many on their side of town cared, decided to show up, and were ready to be there for them.

Darry and Soda sat in the front. Steve, Two-Bit, Dally, and Johnny sat right behind them. None of them were crying. None of them were saying anything. They all refused to look towards the casket. They looked right up at the pastor and tried focusing on his words instead. They all just wanted to get through this fast.

At one point, Soda found his eyes slowly gazing towards the casket. He got a glimpse of his little brother's hair and his heart jumped to his throat. He quickly grasped Darry's hand and squeezed it tight. He couldn't get the lump to go away. He couldn't tell if he was going to cry or vomit or yell. Darry didn't look down at Soda, just gave a returning squeeze. He felt Soda's head weigh against his shoulder. He felt the little shakes. He knew Soda was beginning to cry against him. For Darry's own sake, he had to keep from looking at Soda to keep it together.

"Just hang tight," Darry leaned in and whispered, still keeping his eye on the pastor in front of him.

Steve watched as Soda turned his head and looked at him. His pleading eyes gave Steve the hint to lean forward. Soda barely said above a whisper that he needed to get away. Steve didn't waste any time as he nodded towards a side door and shuffled out of his row. Soda began hurrying along with him. They quietly exited and were in the hall alone. Soda lost it there. He began bawling and hyperventilating. He paced the hall, grabbed his hair, pulled on it, and yelled through his cries. Steve stood there, leaning against the wall, staying silent. He knew there wasn't anything he could do or say. He just had to simply be there. He had to be right there.

* * *

It was time for Darry to speak. He slowly stood up and walked up to the front. He knew Soda was still in the hall, but he didn't worry about it. He wasn't going to force Soda back in if it wasn't time. As Darry looked at the crowd before him, he was surprised to see the seats full, and then some standing around. There was a lot of support, and he felt very grateful for the friends and town he was a part of. It wasn't going to heal any wounds, but he still felt thankful for what he was getting.

"Hi everyone," Darry cleared his throat, "First off, thanks to everyone for coming. I'm surprised at the turn out, but I guess I shouldn't be, because we are all really one big family here in Tulsa. I...don't have much to say honestly. I just can't believe the cards I've been dealt with in my life. My parents are gone and now for some reason my youngest brother. All I really wanted to say out loud was the last thing he told me was he wanted me to do something for myself. I don't know what to do for myself and I don't know what comes next for me and Soda, but I guess I need to try and promise Ponyboy that I will do that." Darry looked down at Ponyboy's body next to him. He felt the tears come to his eyes. The thought didn't even cross his mind that he should try and do what Pony told him to do. The words just spilled out of his mouth right there. "I promise Ponyboy, for you, I will find something for me. I love you."

Nothing else could be said. Darry got too choked up and had to get back to his seat.

"I-Im sorry, that's all I...I can..." Darry put a hand up, excusing himself back down to his seat, where he let the tears fall.

* * *

When Soda felt his energy drain, he slammed against the wall and slid down to the floor. His face was red and tears stained his cheeks. His eyes were puffy and tired. He looked up and saw Steve standing there, just waiting.

Wiping at his eyes, Soda glanced at the door that they had come out through. "I need to go back in there."

With that, Steve walked over and held out his hand. As Soda grabbed on, Steve helped him to his feet and they walked back in. Soda saw his older brother crying, shoulders trembling, head hanging low. Steve put a hand on Soda's shoulder, but he waved it off and walked up to the pastor. He froze, unable to speak.

"Would you like to say something?" he asked with a small smile.

"Y-Yes," Soda replied, "Please."

"Of course."

Soda centered himself in front of everyone. He glanced down and saw Darry look up, struggling to compose himself. He saw Steve taking a seat next to Darry, placing a hand on his knee. Two-Bit had his hand on Darry's shoulder. Dally was looking down towards his lap. His shoulders slightly shook, as if holding back any crying. Then Soda saw Johnny. He thought back to the conversation they had about Soda speaking.

_Just walk up there and speak._

"I-I don't know how to start this, but I just need to say that my brothers are my life. Even after my parents died, I knew I'd be okay because I had Darry and Ponyboy. They were my rocks. I knew we'd get along just fine. But...now," Soda took a breath, "Ponyboy is gone. I haven't been able to say that, but this is my chance to before it's too late. He's gone. It's not anyone's fault, it...just happens I guess. Some people get some shitty luck. I am scared for what's coming next for me, because I felt so secure in life with Ponyboy and Darry. Now one of them is gone, I...I'm not sure what to expect. Its me and Darry now...Darry..." Soda looked down at his older brother. "It's just us now. I don't know how...hell, I don't know what's coming next for us, but I know we'll figure it out. We'll be okay...in time." Soda stopped for a moment. He wasn't sure what to say next, if anything. Turning his head, he looked down at his little brother's body. "I love you Ponyboy. We'll be together again someday."

* * *

Everyone had moved outside. The casket stood before them. It was about to be closed forever. Everyone had their heads bowed for the prayer. Once they all looked up, it was time for the final goodbyes. Darry, Soda, and the gang waited until everyone else departed. It was just the six of them.

Dally walked up first. He looked down at the young greaser. His eyes began to well up, but this time he let them slide down. "It was good knowing you kid. I'll miss having ya around."

Two-Bit walked up next. "The gang isn't going to be the same without you Pony. I'm going to miss you. Don't worry, I'll take care of your brothers. I'll keep an eye on them, keep them smiling. Love you kid."

Johnny walked up. "I love you Ponyboy. You were my best friend, and I'm going to have a hard time with this, but I'm glad you wouldn't have to live as bad off as you could have. I'm glad you're out of pain and...just safe. I love you so much." Johnny turned, tears falling down his face, and he collapsed against Dally. Arms wrapped around Johnny, Dally lowered his head and quietly cried with the young boy. Two-Bit looked away, keeping his distance so Dally could let some emotions out.

Steve walked up to the casket. "Pony, all I really want to say is I'm sorry for any hard times we've had. I always cared about you, and I'm going to miss you. I'll be here taking care of Soda for you, alright? I love you kid."

Darry and Soda walked up together and looked down at their little brother. "We love you little brother," Darry said through his cries.

"We're going to miss you every day," Soda said. It took a minute before the brothers took a couple steps back. They stared at Ponyboy and waited. Everyone watched as the casket closed.

Soda collapsed to the ground, crying hard. Darry got down, holding onto Soda tight as they cried together.

"Ponyboy no!" Soda yelled slamming his fists into the ground, "This can't be happening!" Darry slowly felt his grip loosen as he could barely keep himself together. He let go of Soda and sat himself all the way down, head hanging and tears falling. Steve got down and pulled Soda into a hug. Two-Bit did the same to Darry. "He's gone...he's gone...he's gone..." Soda repeated into Steve's shoulder. Steve held onto his best friend tight as he kept speaking the same words over and over.

"We're here for you guys," Two-Bit said gently to Darry, "We aren't going anywhere. We will help you take care of Soda." Two-Bit looked over and made eye contact with Steve. They both could tell this wasn't going to be like when Mr. and Mrs. Curtis died, but they were ready to do whatever was needed.

Some time passed, and Steve finally felt Soda relax. He was quietly still repeating the same phrase, but it was slowing down. When Soda finally did get quiet, Steve looked down and saw his eyes were closed. He appeared to have fallen asleep as his breathing evened out. Darry lifted himself up from Two-Bit and wiped at his eyes. He looked at his little brother slumped over, relaxed and at peace for the time being.

"Well, are you ready?" Two-Bit asked.

Darry slowly shook his head, "I'll never be ready."

* * *

There was a new buried casket at the cemetery. It had fresh dirt over it and the sun was setting. There was a young boy under that cold dirt. He was placed by his parents. A young boy who had gone too soon. His older brothers weren't meant to bury him so soon, if at all during their lifetimes. There was going to be some changing times coming among the gang. Nothing they could prepare for as they got ready for the next days, weeks, and months to come.

* * *

"Steve?"

"What?"

"I feel so numb right now. I don't think I feel anything. At all."

"That's okay Soda."

"Do you think so?"

"Yeah. I wouldn't expect any different."

Soda turned and looked at his best friend laying next to him in bed. "Will you sleep in here with me tonight?"

Steve looked at Soda. "As long as you want me to buddy."

Soda looked back up at the ceiling. He wasn't sure if he'd sleep that night, or the next night, or the night after that. He didn't want to be awake alone though, stuck in his own thoughts. "Will you stay awake with me?"

Steve glanced at the nightstand next to him. Two-Bit had left a pill there for Steve to take before he headed home. Steve had promised him he'd take it before bed, and he actually meant that promise. He had planned to take it, until Soda had this request. Looking back up towards the ceiling, Steve replied, "Yeah buddy. I can do that."

There was silence between the two. Steve didn't expect Soda to actually carry on a conversation all night. He knew he just needed the comfort, knowing he had somebody right there ready for whatever was needed.

"Steve?"

"What?"

"What's going to happen next?"

Steve thought for a minute before he responded, "I guess we'll see tomorrow."


End file.
